Cecelia Ahern - The Time of My Life

‘Why not?’ Melanie asked.

‘Because … well, I tried to. Chantelle, do you remember?’

Chantelle looked like a deer caught in headlights. ‘No?’

‘I called you and told you I’d gotten really drunk the day before and you asked me why and I said because I was upset and you said why the hell should I be upset, I was the one who left Blake.’

Chantelle’s hands went flying to her mouth. ‘Lucy, you know better than to ever listen to me. So this is my fault?’

‘No,’ I shook my head. ‘It’s really not, but it made me realise that I was locked into this lie and I was going to have to stick to it. I sold the car and started cycling and I desperately needed a job because I needed the money and the only one I could find was at Mantic but I had to have Spanish to take it so I pretended that I did. What was one little lie in a line of so many bigger ones? But then I needed Mariza to help me or I’d lose my job and I couldn’t tell anyone, and so I rented a studio flat the size of this table and none of you were ever there because I was ashamed that everything had fallen apart and that my life was so crap and all of you were doing so well. I was embarrassed, that’s all, but then I grew to like my life and it was just me in this bubble where only I knew the truth, but then my life contacted me – this man to the right of me, who helped me see that I’d tied myself into a big knot and that the only way to get out of it and move on was to tell you the truth because it’s all connected – every little truth is connected to a big lie – and in order to tell you one I’d have to tell you them all and I couldn’t, so I didn’t, so I either didn’t tell you anything or I told you a lie and I’m sorry for that. I’m really sorry. And Blake, I’m sorry to drag you into this but I had to. It wasn’t about you, or turning you into the bad guy, it was about me and turning everything into what it should be.’

He nodded, full of understanding, looking sorry and sad all at once. ‘I had no idea, Lucy, I’m so sorry. I honestly thought at the time that it was the best thing.’

‘For you,’ Mum repeated.

‘Mum,’ I said, annoyed.

‘Anything else?’ Life asked and I thought about it.

‘I don’t like goat’s cheese.’

Lisa gasped.

‘I know, I’m sorry, Lisa.’

‘But I asked you five times!’ she referred to a dinner party she’d held two months ago where she’d singled me out at the table for pushing the cheese around my plate. ‘Why didn’t you just say?’

I think everybody at the table understood why I hadn’t said, even a goat would have eaten that cheese and Lisa would have eaten me if I hadn’t eaten it. Still, it didn’t explain why I’d ordered it most times we’d eaten out in an effort to prove her theory wrong, and as a result I hated it even more.

‘Anything else?’ Life asked again.

I thought hard. ‘I have been babysitting my neighbour’s invisible baby? Is that it? No? Oh. Oh, yes, and I have a cat. I’ve had him for two and a half years. His name is Mr Pan but he prefers Julia or Mary.’

Life finally appeared satisfied – but the others stared at me with shocked expressions trying to take it all in. There was a long silence.

‘So that’s it, guys, my life in a nutshell. What do you think?’ I asked nervously, waiting for them to stand up and storm out or throw drink in my face.

Adam turned to Blake and said angrily, ‘So you left Lucy?’

I sighed and pushed away my salad, appetite gone.

‘What’s wrong?’ Melanie asked, eyes wide. ‘Did you lie about liking salad too?’ She smiled then and we both had a private chuckle while everyone turned on Blake and gave him the abuse they’d been giving me for almost three years.

‘I’m sorry, could you all please be quiet,’ Jamie finally spoke up, and everyone hushed. ‘I think that even though it should go without saying, I should say it anyway. I think I can speak on everyone’s behalf – well, almost everyone,’ he threw a look at Andrew, ‘because I think it’s clear to see you’ve never liked Lucy –’ we laughed as Andrew reddened again – ‘when I say, Lucy, I can’t believe you felt you couldn’t tell us any of this before. It would never have changed our opinion of you – we’ve always known you’re a disaster no matter what.’

Everyone laughed.

‘No, seriously, Lucy, we would have been your friends no matter what dumb job you had or no matter where you were living. You know us better than to think we care about any of that crap.’ He genuinely seemed insulted.

‘I suppose I did know that, but the lie got too big and then I was afraid I’d lose you all when you found out I was a psychotic lying freak.’

‘And that’s a very valid point,’ Jamie said sombrely. ‘But it’s not going to happen.’

‘I second that,’ Melanie added and everybody else joined in, apart from Andrew, Jenna and Blake, of course, who was too busy feeling the most uncomfortable he’d ever felt. Life was silent as he observed it all, making mental notes for the next file for his new office. I caught his eye and he winked, so for the first time in two years eleven months and twenty-three days, I finally relaxed.

‘Now down to the important stuff,’ Riley said. ‘Did nobody else hear what I heard? Lucy, you said you have a neighbour who has an invisible baby? Is that by any chance—’

‘Never mind that,’ Lisa butted in. ‘She hates bloody goat’s cheese!’

And willing to face whatever punishments were coming their way, they all started to laugh. After what felt like a very long time, Lisa joined in.

Riley dropped Mum home to Glendalough; she’d drunk too much at dinner and had come over all emotional and drunk-dialled Father. He wanted her home immediately, partly because he missed her but mostly because he was embarrassed she was out in public in that state and especially with me. The others had insisted on bringing me to Melanie’s club to celebrate my birthday and the truth; but I was exhausted, drained from the revelations, and I just wanted to go home and spend time with my life and my cat. When I’d announced this Melanie had blurted out, ‘Ah, you can’t even stay until the end of your own birthday party!’ which told me she still definitely had issues with my Cinderella timekeeping. Blake had sloped off before dessert, taking a relieved Jenna with him, so it was in Life’s hands to walk the birthday girl home.

I thought we would stay up half the night analysing everything about the big reveal. It had been years in the lead-up and now that it was over, dealt with, I almost didn’t know what to do with the big hole in my mind where the stress of it had once been. When I snapped out of my thinking, I realised I was walking alone and Life had stopped suddenly under the streetlight outside my apartment block. I turned to him, feeling that hole in my head quickly being replaced by a new worry. He shoved his hands in his pockets. His demeanour had all the ingredients of a goodbye and suddenly my heart both drummed and ached. I hadn’t thought about not being with him after I had fixed everything, partly because I never thought I was going to fix anything but mostly because I couldn’t bear to think about a day going by without spending time with him.

‘Aren’t you going to come in?’ I asked, trying to keep the shrill tone out of my voice.

‘Nah,’ he smiled, ‘I’ll give you a break.’

‘I don’t need a break, honestly, come in. I’ve about twenty cakes I need help eating.’

He smiled. ‘You don’t need me, Lucy.’

‘Of course I need you, you don’t expect me to eat them on my own,’ I said, deliberately misinterpreting him.

‘That’s not what I meant,’ he said gently and gave me that look. That look. That goodbye my best friend, I’m sad but let’s pretend to be happy about it look.