Paek Nam-nyong - Friend - A Novel from North Korea

Sun Hee approached Seok Chun, who was third in line.

“You’ve really worked tirelessly for us,” whispered Sun Hee with a coy smile.

Sun Hee acted as if nothing had happened between them the night before and presented the bundle of flowers to Seok Chun with both hands. This time, it was not an umbrella but flowers. He was intoxicated by her perfume, and his distraught emotions dissipated. Seok Chun’s heart melted with delight at the sound of Sun Hee’s tender voice.

After the ceremony thanking the three men and the technicians, there was a performance by the Factory Arts Committee. It was a simple performance, amateur at best.

However, when Sun Hee got up onstage, the ordinary became extraordinary. Members of the audience applauded loudly, expressing their pride at having a worker with such talent at their factory. Sun Hee clasped her hands together and sang in a sweet lyrical tone, projecting the calm of a seasoned professional.

Seok Chun realized that Sun Hee was beyond his reach, an angel who dwelled in the celestial world who would never embrace, adore, or cherish an unsophisticated man like himself. The thought of his love being forever unrequited brought pain to his heart, his entire being. His body felt feeble at the very thought of having to dismiss his love for her. He felt a despairing certainty, which he had resisted, but, in the end, needed to accept.

While Sun Hee lured the audience into the sublime world of music, Seok Chun watched from a reserved distance. He could not participate in the festivities. He became more and more forlorn, overwhelmed with melancholy. He recalled the determination that he had made the night before in the rain while trudging home and recognized that it was the correct decision and that he must carry it out. He realized that a duck and a swan swimming in the same pond could not overcome the most apparent obstacle of their intrinsic difference. The duck would never be the swan’s mate, as their different lives would lead to different destinies. He could not listen to the rest of the song, so he abruptly got up and left the hall.

It was a bright moonlit evening. He walked past the courtyard in front of the meeting hall and headed toward the small park surrounded by tall, dense willow trees. Seok Chun entered the darkness cast by the shadows of the trees. The moonlight could penetrate neither the park nor the solitude of Seok Chun’s soul. He sat on a rock, which was still warm from baking in the sun all afternoon. He felt dejected, like a man who has lost his will to live. He was angry with himself and also sorry for himself. Why was he agonizing over a childish infatuation, over a woman who was beyond his reach? He had determined to forget about Sun Hee, but he deeply wanted his feelings for her to persist. He regretted his foolish behavior of the night before, when his words, which he had intended to use to express his love for her, had instead been cynical, deriving from his frustration and embarrassment. Yet he loved her, he still desired her. He felt that he had neither the strength nor the courage to control his emotions.

He decided to leave at dawn without anyone knowing, without a word, while the villagers were still asleep. He thought that if he left, his love for Sun Hee would subside, gradually fading into oblivion, and then his troubled heart would be able to find solace and regain its peace in solitude. Yet he could not forget the factory, to which he had grown attached. He did not want to leave because of Sun Hee. His heart would not find peace in an abrupt departure. He tried to convince himself that if he spent his energy solely on working on the lathe and living among the noble factory workers and adopting their humble lifestyle, then thoughts of Sun Hee, his love for her and everything that concerned her very existence would fade away. Seok Chun could never forget the lathe work that had become a part of his identity along with the smell of greased steel, the sharp steel rods, the admirable workers and their quiet ambitions, and the humorous stories the factory workers told. These were the elements that shaped his life, that gave passion to his creativity and aspirations. Just thinking of leaving this village, he already longed for the smell of the countryside, the beautiful landscape, and the people with whom he had worked for the past month.

Then the door to the meeting hall was flung open, and people poured out. People passed the courtyard and took the path next to the small park to go home. The night was terrifyingly dark, with no streetlights to guide them. Yet laughter, boisterous voices, coughing, someone calling for someone else, parents concerned about their children’s whereabouts, and other loud voices reverberated in the darkness. There was the sound of a young boy trying to frighten a young girl, and the laughter that ensued. Flashlights and cigarette lighters flickered all around like fireflies flitting through a field. The night was dark but full of life.

Soon, silence fell and dampened any remnants of the festive sounds. But then, from the courtyard, Seok Chun heard footsteps approaching him.

Someone must’ve just woken up in the concert hall and realized that everyone had gone home. Why doesn’t he go toward the noise? Why does he have to come this way?

The person approached with caution and then halted behind Seok Chun. There was silence for a moment, an awkward hesitancy that held Seok Chun back from stirring, talking, or turning around. And then a woman’s soft voice called his name.

“Comrade Seok Chun?”

When Seok Chun heard that voice, it was as if he had touched an electric current that stunned his body. He rose slowly, trembling with anticipation. Seok Chun blushed in the presence of Sun Hee’s angelic radiance. He gazed at Sun Hee with the desire and excitement of starting anew. Their eyes conducted a passionate dialogue. In moments such as these, words may fail to express one’s feelings, but eyes can speak ineffable emotions. Seok Chun managed to stand up, but he did not know how to behave or read Sun Hee’s expression. He had already forgotten about last night’s humiliating incident, how he had worried over her and then had determined to forget about her. Although she was the source of all his anguish, he wanted to welcome her into his heart again.

“Why are you sitting here alone?” she asked.

Seok Chun had no words to respond.

“I saw you leave during my song,” added Sun Hee.

He was surprised and relieved that she had noticed his absence.

So, she did see me leaving while she was singing her song! She even found me sitting here at the small park!

He wondered if this gesture was her way of expressing interest in him. He did not think she was taking pity on him, but he still could not shake off suspicion of her overt generosity. It could have been simply goodwill, but it could not be love, he thought.

“Would you care to join me for a walk?” asked Sun Hee softly.

Without answering her, Seok Chun started walking.

They walked in the park without exchanging any words. The village was quiet that evening. A light, warm breeze shook the persimmon-shaped lightbulbs that had been hung between the willow trees throughout the park.

“How did you find me?” asked Seok Chun, breaking the silence. He spoke carefully. He did not want to sound desperate or appear as if Sun Hee was the only thing on his mind. He was a proud man.

Sun Hee peered into Seok Chun’s eyes as if she were trying to read his thoughts. The moonlight was reflected in her eyes, illuminating them with a bright glow.

“I just wanted to see you,” responded Sun Hee. “That’s why I came looking for you.”

There was an impenetrable stillness between the two. The insects that danced around the lightbulbs were livelier.