Хэнк Грин - A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor

Every news outlet in the world was begging for experts on Altus. It had completely taken over Carl’s place in the center of cultural interest, and I was recognizable, reliable, and articulate. Robin had me booked on TV, radio, and podcasts whenever I wanted it.

“ Slainspotting? ” Jason asked me as I walked in the door from doing an in-studio interview at a morning news show.

“I’m so wiped right now,” I told him. We hadn’t recorded in two weeks.

“Fuck you,” he said, and not in a nice way.

“Jeez, sorry, man, it’s just been really busy.”

“Well, not for me.”

“What do you mean?”

He was fuming. I hadn’t really been paying much attention to him, but now that I took a look, he seemed in bad shape. Stubble, greasy hair, wearing an old unwashed graphic tee.

“What’s going on?” I asked him.

“He notices! Finally! Everyone, witness … Andy Skampt has noticed something that is not himself!”

“Jesus, man, why are you being such a dick?”

“Oh, I dunno, maybe because I got laid off two weeks ago along with like half of my coworkers and you haven’t, in that entire time, asked me how I’m doing.”

“Shit, man,” I said, thinking about it.

He wasn’t wrong. We’d talked, of course, but there had been the disaster with Bex, and April coming back, and all of the work with The Thread and Altus. I thought through all of that, and either it was stuff I couldn’t tell him or terrible excuses.

“Jason, I’m sorry. You’re OK, though, right? Like you didn’t really need the money from that job.”

He stood up from the chair at the kitchen table. “You know, you can be a really shitty person sometimes.” He grabbed his jacket and left our apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I didn’t have time to deal with it. I sat down and opened my computer to look at The Thread.

The only person in The Thread who had any idea that I was who I was, was still One, and they were spending more and more time talking with me.

Twelve:What do you think about Altus?

One:Oh, you know … I think they’re the inevitable manifestation of pure inhuman capitalism and I can see them someday having so much power that just the unintended consequences of their actions could have deeply devastating effects on society.

Twelve:Oh, is that all.

One:Lol. No, it’s to say nothing of what could be done with that power if it were used to intentionally control people.

One:Are you comfortable with living this double life? It has to be unpleasant.

Twelve:The opposite. I kinda love it.

One:Tell me more about that.

Twelve:I don’t think it’s entirely healthy, but it feels good. It feels good to be gathering credibility in secret. To have a plan no one knows about.

One:A kind of power, then. You know things the rest of the world does not. A lie that no one could know you’re telling.

Twelve:Yes, that. But also more than that. If you’re trying to live right and good and correct, it’s slow and complicated and scary. But if you just need to get something done, you can do whatever you want.

A little while passed and One didn’t reply, so I added:

Twelve:It doesn’t matter what people think of me. I am doing what is necessary, and if people hate me for it, it doesn’t matter.

One:Your purpose changed.

Twelve:What?

One:Your purpose used to be to have people like you, and to have a positive effect on them. That’s paralyzing, because always people will hate someone as powerful as you. Always you’re going to hurt people accidentally. Now your purpose is the plan. Your purpose is to be a respected leader on the topic of Altus so you can turn your coat at the right moment.

Twelve:Yeah, yes. That is definitely it. But also maybe not all of it. If we’re going to really look right into the darkness here, I think it’s important to recognize that I also like just being able to indulge in the power. Even if the new purpose is the thing that opened that door, on the other side of the door is an excuse to do exactly the thing that brings me the most power.

April was definitely right that you can only pretend to be something for so long before you become it. And so I stood in the barrage of whatever backlash I got, more and more certain that I was doing the right thing. My plan lined up with my desires. But still, I sometimes felt the sting of my conscience.

Shayla

@Notshaylan

I don’t understand how @AndySkampt can be so gung ho about Altus. There are a thousand reasons to be really wary and skeptical of that company and how they’re running things. This feels like a betrayal of everything you stand for. Or stood for, I guess.

1.8K replies 2.2K retweets 5.9K likes

Rose

@ARYWords

.@AndySkampt went from thoughtful goober to Altus Fanboy in 0.5 seconds the moment a shiny object came by. Just goes to show, none of this is about actual principles, it’s just about preserving power.

59 replies 390 retweets 659 likes

Those tweets hurt because I wanted to shout at them that this was all part of the plan and that they were being mean to someone who really was on their side. And they got a lot of likes and shares. But they also hurt because they were right. I fucking loved the Altus Space.

And then there was another category of tweet that stabbed me pretty deep. Here’s two versions of that one, one from each side:

Gordon Bank

@BLHGordon

I love that @AndySkampt has finally freed himself from the spell of @AprilMaybeNot and become a huge fan of her toughest critic. She was always full of shit and it’s so obvious that he knows that now.

200 replies 1.2K retweets 4.9K likes

Blank

@BlankenshipKansas

Hey @AndySkampt, you want to ever say anything about the fact that you’re publicly promoting a product from a guy who basically killed your best friend? Or are you just going to be a complete coward instead.

306 replies 5.5K retweets 10.7K likes

Direct questions are the worst. Cops must know this—when someone asks you a question, it is really, really hard not to answer it. It’s even harder when people dig up old tweets and put them side by side with new ones and you can’t really explain the discrepancy. And then other people see the discrepancy and they start liking and retweeting and rephrasing. And they also see your silence, and your silence looks like an answer. It’s an extremely effective interrogation tactic, and most people eventually crack and make either a tearful apology or an enraged counterattack.

This is why Twitter callouts tend to end so badly. Apology is never enough (and probably shouldn’t be), so you’re basically being asked to willingly give up power for no clear end. The best people actually do that. But the real shitfucks go on the offense, and then their communities get an infusion of victimhood narrative straight into their veins.

Which is why my response to controversy had changed. Let’s go through these tweets.

Shayla @Notshaylan

Replying to @AndySkampt

I don’t understand how @AndySkampt can be so gung ho about Altus. There are a thousand reasons to be really wary and skeptical of that company and how they’re running things. This feels like a betrayal of everything you stand for. Or stood for, I guess.

Andy Skampt @AndySkampt

@Notshaylan This is the greatest tool that has ever been made. This won’t just change how we learn, it will change how we understand each other. I’m betraying nothing.