Мариам Петросян - The Gray House

“Let us not dwell on that,” Wolf interrupted. “We have visitors.”

Now everyone was quiet. Magician continued strumming the guitar. The hamster stomped over Humpback's sweater, sneezing from time to time. Siamese felt the collective attention on their persons and shifted uneasily.

“You said you didn't need tough guys,” the left Siamese said to Wolf. “And we're not. We don't like them either. And they don't like us. We're by ourselves. If no one picks on us, then we don't pick on anyone. And they call us thieves any chance they get. And they do pick on us. And now those newbies.”

He sighed.

“But you're not going to take us in, I know.”

And he threw a sideways glance at Grasshopper.

Because we used to beat you up, Grasshopper completed the sentence in his head.

“Could you take Elephant, at least? He's scared of that newbie, Spot. He spooks all the time and starts bawling. Take him in, huh? He's very quiet when he's not scared. He just plays all day by himself.”

“Would he go without you?” Grasshopper asked. “He likes you.”

“We’ll talk to him,” Siamese promised. “He's a very reasonable kid.”

This was Max. Grasshopper managed to distinguish the letter M on his badge.

“Just show him this wall.” Rex giggled. “You won't be able to pry him off it.”

“Until after dinner,” said Blind, who had been sitting silently in the corner all this time. “Then he's going to remember about you and start bawling. And then it's either take him back or take you in. Or jump around him all night with handkerchiefs at the ready.”

Siamese blushed and pressed even closer together.

“Bring Elephant,” Wolf said, “and you both come too. Just quit confusing us. And using Elephant to guilt us.”

Rex stood up and helped up his brother.

“Thank you,” he said with a smirk, “O Plaster Knight.”

It was a crooked smirk. The only kind Siamese were capable of. Rex wanted to say something else, but his brother tugged at his sleeve.

They're completely different, Grasshopper thought, surprised. You only have to look closer.

The twins departed. Humpback looked over the beds and whistled.

“Now we are ten Sissies. Full complement. But they’ll never be able to climb the top bunks. Them, or Elephant either.”

“I’ll move upstairs,” Wolf said reluctantly. “And Blind will also have to. There's no other way.”

Stinker swayed on the pillows.

“They are burglars,” he said. “And thieves. They've got a crapload of lockpicks and other things that are useful to have around. They can rob us clean and sneak back to Stuffage. We'd be left with nothing.”

“Let them try,” Wolf said. “We’ll set your goblin loose on them. Hey! Speaking of which, cover it up quick before Elephant comes. Or the entire House is going to come running here when he starts wailing.”

Humpback and Magician pushed the nightstand against the goblin and then placed a salad bowl on top. The radio went on top of the bowl.

“There's only this ear peeking out,” Magician said. “But you can't see whose ear it is, so he won't be afraid of it.”

“This is the way art is suppressed nowadays.” Stinker sighed. “I only poured my entire heart into that goblin.”

“That much is obvious,” Humpback said. “Your black soul is right there for everyone to see.”

“It sure is noisy in there,” Blind said. “In the Stuffage, I mean. I'd even say raucous.”

“Could it be they're not letting them go?” Grasshopper said hopefully.

“Something like that,” Blind said, creeping closer to the wall and pressing his ear against it.

Magician turned down the radio. Now all of them could hear the noise behind the wall.

“Tell us, Chief Keen Ear, what's the news?” Wolf said.

“Keen Ear yourself,” Blind shot back. “Sounds like they’re getting beat up. But I can't tell for sure. Can't hear much besides Elephant raging.”

“So that wasn't a ruse,” Wolf said contentedly. “Them coming here, I mean.”

Wolf looked at Grasshopper. Grasshopper frowned miserably.

“They're kind of ours now,” he said. “They're Poxy Sissies too.”

Wolf nodded. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

“We have to go fight for them,” Grasshopper sighed. “If they're ours.”

Running to the rescue of Siamese was the last thing he wanted to do.

“You mental?” Stinker said indignantly. “There're only five of you. They're going to dispose of you and then mount an assault on the room. And take all the useful things. It might even happen that I could suffer as well.”

Grasshopper slipped his foot into his shoe and extended the leg toward Wolf.

“Could you tie this up, please?”

Humpback was already holding the second shoe.

“Come on, hurry up, let's go,” he said. “They're two against them all.”

Magician armed himself with a spare guitar string. Blind peeled his ear off the wall.

“They're already out into the hallway,” he said in a featureless voice. “No need to rush.”

Humpback slapped the other shoe on Grasshopper's foot and ran for the door. Grasshopper, tripping over the laces, dashed after him. They raced each other out of the room.

Siamese were indeed there. Them and the entire Stuffage. One Siamese was visible. He held off the attackers with a duffel bag. Next to him on the floor, where the other one appeared to have been tripped, something spiderlike was whirling about, waving its multiple arms and legs. Humpback let out a battle cry that sounded like a car alarm going off, and jumped right into the thick of battle. Grasshopper swung his leg at someone's backside sticking out of the spider and continued to punch whoever came up to the surface. Blind sneaked by, but Grasshopper was too busy to trace his further movements. The seething mass was already whelping enemies—Muffin rose up, groaning, and Crybaby readied his fists. Looking at them, Grasshopper suddenly realized, to his horror, that he'd forgotten to take off his prosthetics. This was the most important thing, more important than the shoes, more important than anything in the world!

“don't you dare!” he screamed at the top of his lungs into the closest face and swung at it with his foot. The face disappeared, but another one took its place, which Grasshopper also hit, yelling, “don't you dare!”

I broke his nose! I wonder whose nose?

The battle raged around him. Grasshopper tried to get to Wolf, who was fighting nearby, but someone's hand grabbed his ankle. He stomped on it with the free foot; the untied shoe flew off and immediately was lost in the melee.

All Grasshopper could think about was that they mustn't break the prosthetics. Someone shoved him in the back, he fell over on top of Crybaby, and then someone fell on top of him. Someone heavy. Crybaby squealed. Grasshopper writhed, knocking his knees against him. Someone was sitting astride Grasshopper's back and pummeling him. It hurt, but judging by his whimpering, Crybaby was hurting even more.

“Look out!” somebody screamed.

He saw spinning wheels. Stinker's wheelchair came to a stop right by his nose.

“Look out,” Stinker squeaked again and brandished an umbrella.

Muffin loosened his grip and Grasshopper, now freed, was able to roll aside.

“Take that, fiend!” Stinker exclaimed and speared Muffin with the umbrella.

Grasshopper kicked Muffin in the belly. Muffin, defeated, crawled off, but there appeared Whiner, swinging a hockey stick at Grasshopper. Grasshopper managed to kick him, but the unshod foot could not do much damage. The stick struck Grasshopper in the ear. The ear flashed. The second blow landed on the prosthetic.