Даниэла Стил - All That Glitters

“Will you spend the night?” he asked hopefully, thinking that maybe he could persuade her if she stayed.

“No, I won’t. I don’t trust either of us, particularly myself.” She smiled at him. “You’re an incredibly appealing man. I think I already love you a little bit, and I’d rather stop now. It just gets messy later, and everyone gets hurt.” She was too wise for his game. He wasn’t a player but he used all the wiles and comforts he had to win. She wasn’t going to let him. She knew she had stopped just in time before something stupid happened and then it would take months or years to undo it, and repair the damage.

“I’m sorry it’s only a little bit.” He smiled at her. “You’re a remarkable woman.” And now that she didn’t want him, he wanted her even more. “I’m not letting you take that suicide flight out of Saint Bart’s. I’d never forgive myself. The boat can take you to Saint Martin. It will only take an hour. You can catch the first flight out, or spend the night on the boat if you have to.” He wanted to go with her and try to change her mind, but he didn’t. He knew better, and not to chase a woman who didn’t want him. He could see that Coco had made up her mind and nothing would stop her. Not even him.

“Thank you, Charlie. And I really mean that. Thank you for making it easy, even this part. I’m sorry I can’t stay.”

“I thought it was too good to be true, and I was one lucky guy.”

“You are a lucky guy, and a great one, and I’ve been lucky to be with you. I just need to be doing something different.” She reached up and kissed him on the cheek then. He had been a total gentleman throughout, even now. He could have told her to walk home if she didn’t want him. Instead he was providing his two-hundred-foot yacht to help her make her getaway. She was back in the hall with her suitcases five minutes later. He kissed her, for real this time, and meant it, and she thanked him again and followed the driver outside to the Rolls. He drove her down to the port, and she boarded the boat. They set sail fifteen minutes later, after they cast off the lines and started the engines, and she was in Saint Martin at ten o’clock. One of the crew members accompanied her to the airport in a cab. She had missed the last flight, but there was one at seven the next morning. She went back to the boat to spend the night, as Charlie had offered. They put her in the owner’s cabin, and she had a good chance to see everything she missed. The Picassos on the walls, the Warhols, the rest of his art, the luxurious cabin, and the man himself was so enticing, and she had turned him down. Maybe she was crazy, but she hoped she was right. She didn’t want to spend more years of her life, chasing the flash only to discover later it wasn’t real. Charlie was the best of his kind, but it wasn’t the life she wanted.

A crew member took her back to the airport at five-thirty A.M., she checked in at six, and thanked the crewman who left her there. The flight was full and nothing like the comforts of the flight down from New York on his plane. But she felt good in her own skin, pleased with herself, and a little nervous about what she was about to do.

They landed at nine-thirty, she got her bags, and was in the city at eleven, and left her suitcases with her doorman. She didn’t want to go upstairs and see Bethanie yet. She was still wearing her white jeans and T-shirt, and a red sweater. It was chilly in New York, but a sunny day.

She took a cab to Sam’s apartment, and the doorman let her go upstairs. She rang the bell and was startled when Tamar answered and opened the door. The two women stood there looking at each other for a minute, and Coco could see that she’d been crying, and she looked like she was packing. There were boxes and suitcases all around her.

“Hi, Tamar. I’m sorry to barge in on you. Is Sam here?” They could go for a walk since Tamar was home, but she shook her head.

“No, he took the kids to the park.” And then she started to cry. “This isn’t as easy as he thinks, you know. It’s very hard.”

“I’m sure it is.” There were children and human beings involved, and two men. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to engage her further and hear the whole ugly story. She was on Sam’s side, not Tamar’s. She thanked her and left, and ran across the street to the park to find him. Their apartment was in the same building as his mother’s, which she was sure wasn’t easy for Tamar either, to have your mother-in-law breathing down your neck. She’d never had one, but it didn’t look pleasant to her, and she knew his mother and how tough she could be. Especially now that she knew Tamar had betrayed her son.

She saw Sam from a distance at the playground alone with the four kids. He looked surprised to see her as she approached him in her white jeans and red sweater with a purposeful look. He had the baby in a harness strapped to his back, and was helping Nathan tie his shoelaces. Ruth was clinging to his leg, and he had an eye on Hannah in the sandbox, happily shoveling sand into a pail. He needed ten hands and four sets of eyes to keep them in check. And there wasn’t a bottle of Cristal or a yacht anywhere in sight.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, trying to keep an eye on her and the children at the same time. “Theresa said you were in Saint Bart’s when I called you last night.”

“I was. I just got back.”

“Short trip,” he commented.

“Very.” He could guess who she had gone with, her life was a million miles from his now. He didn’t resent her for it, he just had no frame of reference given where his own life was.

“How did you know where I was?” he asked her.

“Tamar told me. I went to the apartment. It looks like she’s packing.”

“She’s moving out next week. We told the kids yesterday. They seem okay. I’m not sure how much they understand.” Coco nodded. “Why did you come back?” He was curious about it. She had a strange look on her face, half guilty, half scared. “Did something go wrong?”

“I forgot something. I almost made a terrible mistake, but I stopped it in time.”

“Did he do something bad?” He frowned.

“No, he was actually incredibly nice about it.”

“So what did you forget?”

“Something I knew in fourth grade, and somehow I managed to forget by fifth grade, and for the last twenty years. I don’t know how the hell I forgot it, but I did.”

“And what was that?” He didn’t know where she was going and he was bouncing a little from one foot to the other, to keep David quiet in the frame on his back.

“That I love you, Sam, always have and always will. That you’re the only man in the world I love, and who knows me and loves me anyway. I don’t know how the hell I got so distracted with all the glitter and the glamour and the bullshit. Saint Bart’s was just more of the same, private jet down, fabulous house, two-hundred-foot yacht, gorgeous swimming pool, lots of champagne.”

“Shit,” he said, grinning at her, “I’d have stayed. No one takes me on trips like that.”

“All I could think of while I was there was you,” she said, “and our kids, and everything we’ve both been through, and what you’re going through now with Tamar. I love you, Sam. You’re the flash for me. The only flash I want. I’m yours if you want me. You’re the only man I’ve ever really loved.” There were tears in her eyes and he stood staring at her with a look of wonder. She thought of her parents. She wanted what they had, and this was it, with Sam. It was real. Charlie’s life wasn’t, or Ed’s or Nigel’s. Ian was real, but he was broken. Sam was whole, and so was she, even after all they’d been through.

“You walked out on all that for me?” She nodded. “You’re crazy, and I love you too. I’ve thought about it over the years but I thought you wouldn’t want me. I’m not fancy enough or glamorous enough.”