Даниэла Стил - All That Glitters

Chapter 13

Coco was seven months pregnant when Ian disappeared to write, in June. She missed him a lot at first. They had spent so much time together, but then she got used to it. She got busy preparing for the baby. She was nervous about the delivery, without her mother or any female relatives to get her through it.

And in July, as the judge had said, she got her decree absolute in the mail, and she was divorced. The marriage to Nigel was over. It was a painful chapter in her life, and she had nothing to show for it except a house in London and the baby. His parental rights had been terminated along with the marriage, in exchange for the estate in Sussex.

The last weeks of her pregnancy were the hardest. There was a heat wave in London, and she felt like a beached whale. She never heard from Nigel, and didn’t want to. He had no part in the baby’s life now, or her future. She wondered if Ian would check in with her before the baby was born, but he didn’t. He was lost in his own world somewhere. She talked to Sam a lot at the end, and showed him her enormous belly on FaceTime. It looked like she had a beach ball under her dress, and she couldn’t imagine how she was going to push the baby out. It seemed like an impossible feat. She admitted to Sam that she was scared. He was sorry he wasn’t there with her.

A week before her due date, he told her that Tamar was two months pregnant.

“Wow, that was fast!” Coco commented. They’d been married for two months.

“She got pregnant on our wedding night.” She was twenty-three. Sam was respectful and protective of her. She was his wife now, and soon to be the mother of his child. He admitted to Coco that being a father scared him. It was so much responsibility. He had a wife and would have a child soon. Tamar had been sick from the beginning. He felt sorry for her. Coco promised to call Sam as soon as she went into labor.

Leslie had offered to drive her to the hospital, but she wasn’t going to stay with her. Coco was going to manage it alone with the midwife and the labor nurses. She felt awkward having Leslie watch her deliver. She would have liked to have her mother there. She didn’t know what to expect. She didn’t know anyone who’d ever had a baby, and could tell her the truth. She only knew what she’d read in books, which scared her more. She took some birthing classes, but she felt unprepared anyway.

Conveniently, she went into labor at the office. She had worked until the last day. She didn’t know what it was at first, and thought it was something she’d eaten, and then the cramps turned into contractions by lunchtime. She didn’t want to go home and be alone, so she just stayed there, and by four o’clock, the pains were strong, and she called the midwife, who told her to come in to be checked.

“Okay, you’re on,” she said to Leslie, holding on to her desk as another contraction started. “My midwife said to come to the hospital now,” she said through clenched teeth. She hadn’t complained about it all day, and Leslie was shocked.

“Are you having it now?”

“Not this minute, but soon, I hope,” Coco said to her. “We have to pick my bag up on the way.”

They walked out to Leslie’s car, and she ran inside to get Coco’s bag at her house, and they were at the hospital twenty minutes later. By then the pains had gotten a lot worse. A nurse came out to the car, and put Coco in a wheelchair.

“Good luck!” Leslie said, as they rolled her away, and Coco waved. “You’ll be a mum the next time I see you!” Leslie called after her, and felt sad for her that she was going to be alone without her mother, or the baby’s father. Coco had been very clear that she didn’t want her to stay. This was something she felt she had to do alone. Leslie didn’t want to insist and embarrass her. She went back to the office and puttered around, worrying about her, and waiting for Coco to call her after the baby was delivered.

A nurse helped Coco undress, and assisted her onto the bed, while they waited for the midwife. The pains had gotten a lot stronger, and her water broke as soon as she lay down on the bed, and then the contractions got rapidly worse. She called Sam while she still could, and they talked on FaceTime.

“How is it?” he asked her, watching her face and worried. He wished he was there with her since no one else was.

“Shit, it’s awful,” she said, grimacing.

“It’ll be over soon, and then you’ll see her.” He didn’t know what else to say to her, and then the midwife came, and they hung up, and she didn’t call him again. She couldn’t. Everything was happening too fast. She was seven centimeters dilated, and an anesthesiologist came to give her the epidural she had wanted. She cried while she squeezed the nurse’s hand. She felt like she was on an express train, and noticed that it was dark outside. It was nighttime, and she wondered how long she’d been there. She had lost track of time with the pain.

The contractions slowed down once she had the epidural, she dozed for a few minutes and then everything speeded up again. A nurse was with her, and the midwife told her to push. They lightened the dose in the epidural and the pain was unbearable, so they made it stronger again. Someone said she had been pushing for two hours, and it felt like an entire lifetime. She had to push more and harder. There were two nurses in the room then, holding her legs, and she pushed and pushed until she couldn’t anymore, and then she felt pressure like she’d never felt before and everyone was telling her to push harder, and then she heard a wail, and looked down and saw her baby, and Coco was crying and laughing as she looked at her.

She was so beautiful. She looked like Coco’s mother, and Coco suddenly felt as though her mother was in the room with her. She glanced at the window and the sun was coming up. It was six in the morning, and someone said that it had taken only fourteen hours, which was great and really fast for a first baby. Coco groaned. The baby was at her breast by then, looking up at her mother. They said she was small, only six pounds, but it hadn’t felt like she was small. It felt like an elephant was pushing through her. She wondered how something so little could hurt so much. But as she lay there holding Bethanie, it all seemed worth it. That little precious face looking up at her, and tiny toes and fingers. She wanted to call Sam and show the baby to him, but she was shaking too hard to call him, as they put a warm blanket on her, and took the baby to the nursery to clean her up. It was over. She had done it. She had finally arrived, and as Leslie had said, she was a mother now. It all seemed so miraculous and mysterious. They gave her a shot for the pain so she could sleep, and as she drifted off, she knew that when she woke up, she and Bethanie would start their journey together.

—

Leslie came to see her and the baby that afternoon, and she could see on Coco’s face how hard it had been. But she could also see how happy she was, and the baby was beautiful and looked just like her.

She had called Sam by then, and showed him the sleeping baby with the tiny rosebud face.

“How was it?” he asked, relieved that they were both okay.

“Hard. It felt like it took forever. But it’s worth it. She looks so sweet.” It touched him seeing the baby, and seeing Coco, even with dark circles under her eyes. She was so proud of her daughter, and he was proud of her.

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Sam said. Leslie had arrived then, and Coco promised to call Sam back.

They went home the next day, and Coco had everything ready in the nursery, and a basket for her set up in her room. She had no one to help her and didn’t want help. She wanted to live every moment of the experience. A nurse came to check on them at home the next day, and said they were doing fine.