Sister Souljah - Life After Death

“Those are known as flamboyant trees,” Young Drummer said. I knew that was the feeling those trees gave off. The flamboyant trees gave way to eucalyptus trees that smelled so refreshing it made me want to stand still and just inhale, exhale. But he needed to keep moving. So we did. Eucalyptus trees gave way to rainbow eucalyptus trees and then to amazing cherry trees. Now I felt I had seen trees of every shade of every color. He stopped. So I stopped.

“Ma, do you see that door up ahead in between the angel oaks?”

“Yes,” was all I said. Only a blind fool could not see the incredibly crafted and sculpted door made from ivory. Whose idea was it to use elephant tusks in such a manner?

“That is the entrance. I cannot go through those doors with you.”

“Why not?” I asked, and actually felt a little afraid to be without him.

“Each soul must enter through those doors alone and of its own will,” he said solemnly.

“Yeah, but what’s in there?” I asked, feeling suddenly suspicious.

“I cannot tell you, first because I have never been inside. It is not my place. It is a place for you and those souls in your category.” It sounded like some polite way to insult me and associate me with some group I probably would never associate myself with.

“What, is Allah supposed to be in there?” I asked. It looked like he became quietly angry. I had never seen him angry. He always kept a cool composure. But I could see his jaw flexing. I learned way back that it is a telltale sign that a man is angry but holding back his anger.

“The ivory building is called Aldhdhat Aineikas, meaning ‘self-reflection.’ It is a place where the souls who enter will face themselves. Ma, this is not a movie. Don’t expect Allah to be a man hidden behind a curtain yelling out commands to you. Don’t expect Allah to be a con artist. Don’t expect Allah to sit side by side with you in conversation, like a beggar begging you to want to be good. Don’t expect Allah to be a pimp or a wimp. Allah cannot be seduced, nor would you ever have the opportunity to seduce Allah. That’s silly. All of these are thoughts left over from your ignorance. Allah is beyond your or my comprehension. Even a man or woman who has studied and accumulated degrees and awards and finance and fame cannot imagine or know the mind or image of Allah.” He folded his arms in front of himself.

“Ma, what I can say is this. The same way that Heaven is not promised to any soul, a soul must earn Heaven, or somehow be granted Allah’s mercy. Allah does as Allah pleases. The City of Mercy is not promised to you or available for you to become a resident. It is a temporary realm where you must give your greatest effort to acknowledge and then strip off all of your evil and replace it with a genuine humility. Do you know what humility is?”

“Not exactly.” I didn’t want to say any more answers and have him correct me.

“To be humble. To humble yourself. Each of us must seek to humble ourselves then actually do it. A person or soul who is humble acknowledges and accepts the order of the living. Meaning, a person who doesn’t confuse himself with God, or think of himself as high and important, royal or in control. A person who does not worship himself or think that he created himself or anyone else. A person who does not pretend and take credit for things that he or she deserves no credit for, Ma, say like your beautiful face and appearance…” He switched gears and I liked it.

“A person who is humble would be grateful to Allah for designing and causing and allowing him or her to have a beautiful outer appearance. A person who is not humble and does not want to be humble will use the beauty that Allah created, designed, and allowed as though it is a beauty they gave to themselves. Or that it is a beauty that originates with their parents. But no, your outer and inner self originates with Allah. Be humble. Don’t use your beauty as a weapon, a license, or a tool. Thank Allah for it and for all else that Allah has provided you. That’s being humble, having humility.” I was thinking, This young nigga is trying to take the hustle out of a hustler. My whole generation, culture, and music is the opposite of what he is talking about. Niggas love to show off. That’s the motherfucking point. Getting the things that you can flash and create envy and cause other niggas to bow down to is the drive, the action of life. Niggas live and breathe that! And the mothers and fathers of niggas live and breathe that too. Hell! Everybody does. No matter the race or whatever, everybody is making moves to get them from a certain level to the next level, to the top. The top is where you are envied, admired, served, and known. Icon status!

“There are seven magnificent structures lined up in a row, starting with the Self-Reflection Center. Connected are Fahum, Haya, Hidara, Hikma, Mutawadie, and Masjid. In your English language, the names of each of the structures after the Center of Self-Reflection are the House of Understanding, the House of Truth, the House of Culture, the House of Wisdom, the House of Humility, and the Grand Mosque, of course,” he said.

“I thought you said you never been in there. So how would you know all of that?” I asked suspiciously. He smiled. “Is there any trust in you about anything or anyone good? Or about Allah, the Greatest? I did not lie to you. I have never been past those ivory doors. Once you go in, you will never come out. You will never be able to tell anyone what is in there. I happen to know an old wise soul. He worked in there. He told me nothing of the details but assured me of the layout. That’s why I know a limited amount about the facility.” But I was thinking, What if it is like the nightclub? A place that appears to be so awesome, but is actually deadly?

He saw me thinking. He may have even felt my worry.

“Ma, do not play or pretend that you do not understand anymore. From now on and while you are here, do not lie when asked any question. Do not lie period for any reason, not even because you feel embarrassed or ashamed or because you think that a lie will protect your survival or advantage over something or someone. Do not assume that those inside appointed to assist you are naïve and stupid and can be tricked or manipulated. They are not. They are the sharpest and best equipped for the job of helping you to cleanse your own soul. Otherwise they would have never been appointed to do so. Ma, do not start a gang or a movement or throw parties or anything close to that. Do not listen to any other rebellious or evil soul who tries to influence you from doing any other thing other than cleansing your soul in accordance with what the program offers to you. If you do, you will not be asked why you did it. You will not be able to offer even one excuse for even one of your lies. Your first lie in there will be your last. There will be no lawyer to represent you, and no witness who can defend you. There will be no alibi you can invent. There will be no one who can do anything on your behalf. The ground beneath you will simply open up. Your sour soul will fall down into it and will burn. It will be a thousand times or more worse than anything that happened or that you felt or saw in the Last Stop Before the Drop. Your soul will remain on fire and it cannot be accessed, interrupted or stopped by anyone other than Allah. Your mind will remain. So you will be aware in a conscious state and continuous burning,” he warned.

“Young Drummer, listen up. The one who you and your sister Bomber Girl call Shayton was accused of burning people in his bogus nightclub that was really a massive oven. So now that you threaten me with being burnt up, you are proving that Allah and Shayton both want the same things and take the same action. So what makes one better than the other?” I challenged him. I think he needed to be challenged. I don’t think anyone should be so sure about any one person or thing. There gotta be like at least 3 percent of doubt. Otherwise if you go so hard and the person you loved or made a deal with, or the friend you found, or thing you believed in or was loyal to turns out to be incorrect, won’t that cause you to lose your mind?