Sister Souljah - Life After Death

I was sitting in my slime when the green-colored atmosphere began to devour the blackness. My eyes were attempting to adjust to the new existence of color that contained light. The greenness somehow eliminated the foul odor, silenced the screaming, and the grinding, cracking, breaking, and hissing. Although I was happy about the presence of color, I was worried that he was about to show up to come get me only to see my rashes and scratches and my lap filled with mucus that had oozed down over my feet.

Instinctively, I touched my face, wanting to clear and clean it up a bit if that was even possible. When I touched my face, it was not slimy anymore. It was not bumpy. It was not wet. I moved my hands over my whole face. I could not even feel my scar. My hair felt soft, no more grease or residue or dead insects from the swarm. I pulled it to my nose. It smelled like it had been washed with expensive shampoo. My mood was shifting up. I was excited. I leaped up. My legs were working. The feeling of being able to really feel returned. As it did, the lavender sky appeared overhead. It opened and spilled out stars that were absolutely everywhere, like diamond raindrops.

“Ah-hum-doo-lah-lah,” she said. Or at least that is what it sounded like to me. It was her, the Diamond Rain girl who I had seen once before. The one who he said is the police. “Soo-pan-ah-lah,” she said, and I was already getting tight at all of her foreign talk. “I apologize for being too late,” she said, switching to English as though she heard what I had just thought. Immediately I switched to my game face. I thought she had caught me slipping and read my facial expression. I had been so long fucked up, sick and paralyzed by the sewer in the blackness, that I had no reason for game face. Now I was back in pocket and even feeling like I got superpowers. I must. I’m standing up, feeling myself. My skin is flawless like how it was for the first eighteen young years of my life. She began speaking to me in a tone as though I knew her.

“I’m not from this realm. I even have to get permission to come down here and an army of my UBS to back me up,” she said. But I had thought UBS was her name . Maybe not. Above her, the sparkling stars continued to decorate and light up the lavender sky. I could see and understand clearly why he liked her. That aggravated me. She obviously had something that the rest of us bitches don’t have. Not even the exotic foreign ones. Never met a bitch that came from the stars—stars more mesmerizing than flawless jewels. And somehow she controlled the color of the atmosphere. Probably she could keep a nigga fully entertained with just her little light show.

“And if the trip down here is not exhausting enough, the battle is,” Diamond Rain said. I looked her over. She didn’t look like a bitch who had been fighting her way here the way she said she had to do. She didn’t have no scratches or knife swipes or burns or bullet holes and even her clothes were neat and fresh. The belt around her waist had slots stuffed with what seemed like big bullets. They were not exactly the same as the bullets I seen plenty of times in Brooklyn. But they definitely appeared to be ammunition. Around her neck was a diamond chain.

She’s stunting on me, I thought. But the illest thing about the chain was her piece. I had seen the jewels of the hottest hustlers—my father at the top, of course, and his crew, celebs, and dealers at VIP parties, as well as low-level cats from our hood that were on the come-up. I had never ever seen any hustler or celeb with the piece she had hanging on her necklace. It was a grenade. This must be part of her psych game , I deduced. She came with her pretty face and sleek body, nicely dressed, but wearing warrior armor in a way that it was on display to make the next bitch she was ’bout to battle back off or bow down.

“If it was so much trouble, why did you come here then?” I said without any excitement at all. She looked sad for a second, then brought back her smile. Maybe her smile is her version of her game face.

“Is that all you have to say to me? And do you really want to say it that way? Why not start with the good words and good feelings?” she asked, then threw her arms in the air. She held them there and made her pretty un-manicured fingers dance, and then spun around rhythmically like a belly dancer. I’m thinking, What the fuck? A knockout combo: bullets, bombs, and hula-hoop hips.

“You must like my hilab,” she said, striking a pose..

“Hilab,” I repeated.

“Yes, hilab means the scent that announces me. It remains only while I am here and trails me when I leave this realm. How come you don’t even mention it, when before I arrived down here, you were choking on odor?” She placed her hands on her hips gently, not like a commander or authority. Of course I smelled her beautiful scent. But one bad bitch don’t really need to be complimenting another badass bitch for her look and her style. Real bitches already know and don’t need compliments from anyone except their nigga. So I ignored her.

“Or maybe you like the lavender sky? These are all gifts that the ONE has allowed and given me Alhamdulillah.” She said the foreign words again. “And I am so grateful to share these gifts with you,” she added.

“Bitch, we ain’t friends,” I said. I wanted to cut out the bullshit niceties and get to it. “Did you come here expecting me to help you catch him? Or are you down here just to fuck with me?” I asked her.

“Him!” she said and collapsed into a squatting position so that now she was looking up to me. I was like, That’s right bitch, look up to me.

“He is evil. He is the enemy!” She stressed each word, raised her voice, but still had the happy face and delight. I didn’t like the mixture.

“I see you’re still salty over him,” I said. “But a real bitch lets go after she gave it her best fight. So let go. Besides, you disqualified yourself. You betrayed him,” I blurted out so she would understand that he confided in me about everything and that I was aware of their past relationship and that I was even aware that she was the police.

“Soo-pan-ah-lah, this is why we are shown that whoever the ONE leaves in error can never be corrected by anyone else except the ONE. Because of love, we UBS still try. And because the ONE is the Most Merciful, we are granted three trips of mercy to strive to correct the misunderstandings and wrongdoings of the ones we love,” she said, mumbling some foolishness. Then she stood up. “Please forget him. He is a liar. Every word he says is false. If you believe in him, and follow him, he will lead you to an even more evil destination than down here. You will be completely ruined in his company.”

“So you’re not a cop. You’re a C.O. who showed up to correct me.” I laughed like, Yeah right, beat it bitch! Then I told her, “After a breakup all bitches talk just like how you are talking now.”

“Blot him out! It is not about him! It’s about you and me. I don’t know exactly what lies he has told you. But I have never ever had any romance or relationship with him.”

“Bitch, stop lying. You keep coming here. You came to his house a bunch of times tryna shake him. You bombed his house and did all types of crazy shit. I know. I was with him the whole time. Bet you didn’t know that. So you’re busted!” I told her.

“True, some of our army of UBS were there attacking his house of evil,” she admitted. “I was not with them. Although I sent some of them. While others of them fought him for their own reasons.” It felt like she really wanted me to take her side. To believe her words.

“You don’t recognize me?” she asked after some seconds. “I know everything about you, Miss Winter Santiaga. It really hurts that you don’t recognize even one speck of me,” she said softly. “But I forgive you. You don’t even know who you are, or where you are, or why you are here, or the meaning of what you have done in the past and what you continue to do in the present. So why did I ever believe that you would be able to recognize even a speck of me?” she said as though she pitied me.