Maki Kashimada: Touring the Land of the Dead: Two Novellas

Before finding her current position at the children’s center, Natsuko had been working part-time at the ward office. The job involved hardly anything more than stapling together the bulletin for a group that the office ran for local children who weren’t attending school. She wasn’t an airline stewardess, but she was doing the kind of manual work that as a child she had always wanted, so she couldn’t say that her wish hadn’t come true. Once the bulletin was ready, she would be handed a bundle of papers to staple together. And the person who made that bulletin was Taichi.

Three months after they first met, Taichi told Natsuko that he had fallen in love with her at first sight, and asked her to marry him. There was no helping it—she brought him home to meet her family.

She had told them in advance that he would be coming, of course, but her mother hadn’t put out so much as a glass of water for him.

“So, you’re Natsuko’s boyfriend?” Her mother looked him over doubtfully. Her brother wouldn’t even take a seat, looming over the sitting Taichi with his arms crossed.

“Yes, that’s right.” Taichi smiled, and took a sip from a bottle of barley tea that he had brought with him.

“You said you work at the ward office?”

“Yes.”

“The ward office.” Her mother sighed.

Taichi began to introduce himself. That he was from a seaside town in Hokkaido, a wonderful place surrounded by nature—and that, in spite of that, he couldn’t swim. On hearing this, Natsuko broke out into laughter, but the others remained stone-faced.

After a while, he ran out of safe stories to tell. Yet her mother and brother refused to bring up any topics of their own, and so the four of them sat in silence.

“Why don’t we get something to eat? Won’t you let me treat you all?” Taichi suggested, and for the first time both her mother and brother nodded in agreement.

“I’m not very familiar with the area though…” he added innocently, without understanding anything. Natsuko remained silent. Without uttering so much as a single word, her brother led them to a Korean restaurant.

“All that child ever wants is meat. Never mind that I’m in the mood for a nice kaiseki course,” her mother muttered.

Her brother was the first to take a seat and, after looking at the menu, ordered a bottle of shōchū. Her mother sat down beside him, and he showed her the menu. “Why don’t you get something to drink?”

“You know I can’t hold it.”

The two of them chatted lightly while thinking about what to order. Natsuko and Taichi weren’t even given a choice. Her brother went ahead and ordered the deluxe galbi and the samgyetang .

Once the meat was all lined up on the table, her brother finally spoke up. “Well? Let’s dig in. It isn’t like we get to eat this kind of thing every day.”

“But you’re always eating yakiniku .”

“Not this deluxe stuff. I’m not completely clueless when it comes to money, you know.”

Neither her mother nor her brother said anything to Taichi. They wouldn’t even glance in his direction. Taichi merely looked on while nibbling on a piece of gyūtan . Natsuko sipped at some cola, without even touching the food.

“Mom, try some of the japchae . This is the kind of thing that I’m always eating,” her brother said elatedly.

The meal wouldn’t end. Her brother just kept on drinking.

Finally, Taichi stood up. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’ll have to excuse myself. The last train will be leaving soon. Goodbye.” He laid out several bills on the table apologetically before leaving. “It’s been fun,” he murmured in a low voice—but her mother ignored even that.

When they arrived home, her mother called a family meeting.

“Just how much does that man earn?” she asked sternly.

“I don’t know.”

“Impossible.” She shook her head. “Thinking you’d marry a man without even knowing how much he earns. Show me the ring. Don’t tell me he didn’t even give you a ring?”

Natsuko took it off to show her.

“Such a small diamond. You poor thing.”

“It’s not the size that’s the problem, it’s the lack of taste,” opined her brother as he gulped down a glass of water to soothe his throat, parched from too much liquor. “Just think how embarrassing it’ll be when people find out it isn’t a Harry Winston design.”

Her mother nodded along in silence. Natsuko felt as if she were on trial.

“More importantly, which university did he go to? Has he ever spoken about politics or art?”

“A university in Sapporo, I think.”

“I don’t want a brother-in-law I can’t discuss things with at my level.”

Natsuko’s mother had no doubt harbored these kinds of expectations for her daughter’s future partner ever since her own husband had passed away. And her brother was no different. They would both cheat Taichi out of everything given the chance. Not just money. His pride as well. They would rob him of everything that he had. Because they were the kind of people who thought that they could take everything while giving nothing back. They had no reason to think that way, but that didn’t stop them. For her mother, men were no more than objects for exploitation. She thought that she could have that kind of attitude toward them simply by virtue of being a woman. Ever since Natsuko was a child, she would often say to her: Are you listening? When you grow up and find a boyfriend, he’ll surely take you to a French restaurant, a beautiful place like a castle. And when the food arrives, he’ll wait for you to start eating first. He’ll just sit there, watching you for a while, before he starts eating. He’ll tell you how cute you are. That’s what they do. Men take a woman out to a restaurant, watch her eat, and then pay for it all themselves. That’s romance. You’ll love it.

You’ll love it. That’s what her mother had said. Natsuko had no idea what it was. In any event, she wanted to marry Taichi. No doubt he was far removed from her mother’s image of the ideal man. She had opened a hole in the shell that was her family and could feel the wind creeping in from outside. Vague though this feeling was, she knew that it was what she had been looking for. In all the years that she had been living with her family, this was the first time that she had felt a real sense of self.

During lunchbreak the following day, Natsuko and Taichi met in the cafeteria at the ward office.

“Your brother had a lot to drink yesterday, didn’t he? Is he okay?” Taichi asked worriedly.

“He did, didn’t he?” was all Natsuko said in response.

“Your mother didn’t say much. Is she shy in front of strangers? Or did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Natsuko replied sharply. “Not at all. My family is a bit weird. So it’s okay if you don’t want to marry me.”

“Huh?” The pork cutlet that Taichi had been holding in his chopsticks fell to the floor with a silent thud. “But you’re the one I’d be marrying, Natchan. What a strange thing to say! You were so nervous yesterday. You must be exhausted. Let’s put it behind us. Just try to imagine the wedding. You’ll be so beautiful!”

“I’m sorry.” She should have thanked him, but for some reason, she merely hung her head in apology.

They got married as planned. As if Taichi hadn’t realized anything about her family, not even the thinly veiled sense of disgust that they felt toward him. Nothing at all. Surely he must have felt some kind of discomfort? But she doubted that he would ever pinpoint its true identity.

Taichi finished his wife’s leftover kaisendon . Natsuko looked once again at her watch. They could still make their schedule, maybe. “The bus will be leaving soon,” she urged him, and the two of them left the restaurant.