Карен Кингсбери - A Distant Shore [calibre]

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Her anger was gone. That was the difference. The change only made her more beautiful.

“Yes, I did. I wasn’t honest with you.” He leaned closer. This conversation was for just the two of them. “You thought I didn’t like pretending to be your husband, is that right?”

“Yes.” She looked down for a moment. “That was obvious.”

“Okay… so that’s why I’m sorry. Because that wasn’t it at all.” He ran his fingers through his hair. There was no easy way to get to the point. “Eliza… you won’t believe this.” He chuckled. “I think I met an angel.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I’ve been talking to God. For real. I really believe He wanted me to meet with you.”

“You talked to God?” She narrowed her eyes. “You said you weren’t sure you even believed. Because of… what happened.”

“Right. That was before. But these last few weeks I realized… whenever I needed Him, I was still praying. Still asking for His help.” He paused. “So I asked Him again and this guy… this stranger showed up. I can tell you more later, but when he left, I asked God about you.”

“Me?” She looked to the deepest part of him. “Why?”

“Because I’d hurt you. I knew it.” Jack had to make her understand. He chose his words with great care. “But now I know why I hurt you.”

This time she didn’t respond, but her eyes never left his.

Nothing could’ve stopped him from taking her hands now, not with what he was about to tell her. He reached out and gently eased his fingers between hers. Friends could do this, right? If not, they could sort out the confusion later. For now there was only the river, the San Antonio September sky, and the two of them.

He ran his thumbs over her soft hands. “Eliza, it wasn’t that I didn’t like pretending to be your husband.” He let himself get lost in her eyes. “It was that I couldn’t make myself pretend not to be.”

Doubt and disbelief seemed to come over her in a rush. She pulled her hands free and sat back in her seat. “What… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying… I couldn’t kiss you. Because… I was falling for you.”

Her expression changed with every breath. Trust and belief. Joy and delight, gratitude and hope. In an instant, his words had set her free from her darkest fear. That he could never see her as worth pursuing… because of what she viewed as her criminal past.

There was still much to tell her, and even now this could only be a friendship. Because of the important work they both had to do. But it would be a friendship deeper than either of them had known. A love with God at the center. But before he could put his thoughts into words, Eliza did something that told Jack everything would be okay. Even though they could not possibly be romantically involved, and even though they would never kiss again, at least she didn’t hate him anymore. She forgave him.

Jack knew. Because in that next moment she took his hands in hers.

And this time, neither of them let go.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.

—2 Kings 2:2

Eliza was dreaming. That was the only way to explain what was happening. Had Jack Ryder really just said he was falling for her? And that’s why he hadn’t wanted to kiss her? She fought to keep her reaction measured.

I still don’t want love, she told herself. I don’t want to date him.

But at least now she understood what had happened in the Bahamas. Jack wanted her, he was attracted to her. Nothing that he’d done while they were in Nassau had been a rejection. And even though she still worked to keep her walls up, they were falling apart with every passing moment. Because Jack was different. He wasn’t like any man she’d ever imagined knowing. Right now all she wanted was to sit in this moment. Live in it. In case this time with him really was only a dream.

Eventually their dinner arrived. Eliza wanted to freeze time so she could hear what Jack meant about God telling him to meet with her. And so she could hear about this angel. If that’s what it was. When they were done eating, she folded her hands in her lap. “Thank you. For telling me about the Bahamas.” She didn’t look down this time. “I thought it was because of… the Palace.”

“I know. I get that now.” Jack shook his head. “That’s behind you, Eliza. Another lifetime ago.” His blue eyes darkened. “Besides… I have my past, too.”

Whatever he was referring to, his yesterdays certainly would have paled in comparison with hers. But Eliza let the subject go. “So… we can be friends. Is that what you’re saying?”

“It is.” Sincerity shone in his expression. “I need to learn to care again. God made that clear last week, too.”

“And He told you to care about me ?” She couldn’t believe it. This was what he’d wanted to tell her? It was the last thing she’d expected.

“Yes.” He slid his hands across the table again. “Is it okay? If we hold hands?” He paused. “We have to be careful.”

“We will be.” She did a slight shrug. “Friends hold hands.”

“Exactly.” His eyes never left hers. “Eliza… I’ve been alone since my parents died. I haven’t let my heart connect. Not with anyone.”

One of the walls fell. “Me, either.” She moved her hands toward his. Until now, she wanted to say. But she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. She could use a friend in this new life of hers. Nothing more. Even so, when their fingers were connected she felt the most wonderful sensation.

Like she could actually breathe. For the first time since her days in Lower Barton Creek.

THEY WERE WALKING back to the car when it happened.

Jack had gone to the restroom and left her at a well-lit table along the river walkway. Eliza had learned long ago how to keep guys from looking at her. Don’t make eye contact. Looking into the eyes of a man could sometimes make him think he had the right to approach.

So Eliza kept her attention on the river, on the next boat making its way down the water. But then out of nowhere, she heard someone yell. She turned and saw a man sitting at a table directly across the path. He looked right at her.

“Hey, beautiful!” He was tall with dark hair and a tank top. Three guys sat with him.

Again Eliza looked away.

The man must’ve been drunk. Because his tone grew angry and he cussed at her. “Don’t disrespect me!” He was on his feet, and one of his friends tried to grab his hand. But the guy was undaunted.

If he touched her she’d flip him to the ground. Like Camille had taught her to do back at the FBI office. But what if he was a trafficker? What if he wanted to kidnap her? Fear seized her as she looked toward the pavilion. If Jack didn’t come now, she would run. But if she ran, how would she meet up with him again? Then she remembered. She had a cell phone, and she knew Jack’s number.

She stood, but even as she did, the man stormed across the pathway toward her.

Come on, Jack . Eliza glanced toward the restrooms. She was deciding which way to run when suddenly the guy was on her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and started to pull her toward his sweaty body. Eliza wrapped her right foot around his ankle and tried to drop the guy to the ground.

But he was too big, too strong.

“Stop—” She started to scream, but before the sound was out of her mouth someone grabbed the guy. Eliza spun around and there was Jack.

He took rough hold of the tall man’s shoulder and then drove his fist straight into the guy’s face. The attacker reeled back and dropped to his knees. At the same time his friends ran up.