Kenzaburo Oe - Somersault

"I don't really have a question; I just wanted to tell you all of this. There is one more thing I'd like to say, though. Patron has come back to the Church of the New Man and we're all together again, yet I find the attitude of some of the Quiet Women quite incomprehensible. Yesterday they all gathered in their rooms in the monastery and prayed. The curtains were all shut, the place was dark, and even if you wanted to talk with them you couldn't because there were men standing guard at the door.

"The same thing's happening today. And tomorrow evening, when we'll all be sitting around the lake listening to Patron's sermon, aren't the Quiet Women planning to take over the chapel to hold another prayer meeting?

"The Technicians, who also moved here along with Patron, will be lis- tening to the sermon along with everybody else in the stands around the lake.

Why do the Quiet Women alone have these special privileges, and why do they ignore their former colleagues who've come from so far away? With the Church of the New Man about to be launched, is this really a good idea? I'm asking this for all the women believers from the Kansai headquarters, all of whom have their doubts about this."

Her question finished, the woman remained standing, awaiting a reply, and Ms. Oyama, who'd been taking notes, raised her head. Normally what struck Kizu about her was her strong-looking body and her no-non- sense look, but now she and the woman asking the questions seemed to share a common fatigue.

"I'm not sure if I can give a satisfactory answer as a representative of the Quiet Women," Ms. Oyama said, "but I'll go ahead and try. Ms. Kajima, it's so nice to see you after so long. I understand how you were able to main- tain your religious life at the Kansai headquarters, and it's through the efforts of you and others like you that we're able to open our new church in such wonderful facilities. Seeing as how you're the ones who've stayed in the church all along, it might be strange for me to say that I'm happy you've come here. but I do want to convey my heartfelt thanks to everyone who's participating in the conference.

"When those of us who share the same faith left the church and made the decision to live collectively, we were counting on your joining us. When, at the last moment, you decided not to, I must say we were quite bewildered.

After the Somersault, when we were confused, doubting our faith, and suf- fering, it was you, Ms. Kajima, who encouraged us. With Patron and Guide no longer in the church, we were trying to live on our own, relying solely on our faith. Everyone believed you were crucial to our success. When we learned that you wouldn't be joining us, several people actually dropped out of our group, and even after we started our communal life together as the Quiet Women, we never forgot you. We were distressed and talked over why you didn't join us."

"I'd like to be allowed to explain," said Ms. Kajima, who had remained standing. "Just a moment ago I said I felt it was completely up to Patron where he would go after the Somersault. Truthfully, though, I still had an attach- ment to him, which is why I grew close to your group, Ms. Oyama. I was convinced that you were still in secret contact with Patron and Guide and that, with no other place to go, they might join you at your commune.

"The last day I was with your group, Mrs. Shigeno gave a sermon-I haven't had a chance to see her here yet, but I'm happy to hear she's well. I can never forget how she said she would never forgive Patron and Guide for having done the Somersault. She said that through their communal life they would get an even firmer grasp of the God that Patron and Guide rejected and would show them a thing or two. Everyone was quite stirred up by this.

"I had no ill feelings toward Guide, of course, nor toward Patron. Even having done the Somersault, he was still a beautiful soul. At the same time, I saw him as someone forced to suffer to the point where the Somersault was unavoidable. But someday wouldn't he come back to us? I kept the words he had told us in mind and tried not to be self-destructive. He said himself that it was all a joke, but once the words were out there, in the public domain as it were, they were mine to deal with as I felt best… Just around that time I met Mr. Soda and heard that the Kansai headquarters was planning to keep the church organization going.

"I'll rephrase my question so a practical and bright person like your- self, Ms. Oyama, can answer directly. This is what I want to know: After the Somersault, what kind of spiritual process did the Quiet Women go through to forgive Patron and be able to rejoin him here and become part of his new church? Unless I know this, your secrecy will continue to bother me. I'd also like to ask the Technicians a similar question."

"We've managed to live our communal life for more than ten years now," Ms. Oyama replied. "As you said, at first we did hate Patron and Guide.

The power of hatred, in fact, helped bind us together. But in time we over- came those ill feelings, though I'm afraid it's beyond my ability to analyze the process of how this happened. I say this because each person conquered her feelings in a different way, consistent with how she became converted and the way she had lived her life since.

"Still, there was one impetus all the Quiet Women shared that helped them overcome their feelings of animosity. This was the information that Mrs.

Shigeno brought to us-the report that after the Somersault Patron and Guide had descended into hell. We too felt we'd been abandoned, left in a place where we were anxious and suffered. When we heard this information we thought, very naturally, that it made perfect sense. That being the case, we also clung to the hope that Patron and Guide would someday climb up out of the hell they were in and lead us in a new direction.

"Then a terrible thing happened: Guide was murdered, a truly awful event, but we received the notice of the memorial service for Guide, sent from Patron, and for the first time in ten years there was something hopeful to cling to. It was a straight path from the memorial service to this present conference from then on.

"This only means that we Quiet Women need to talk together even more. These past ten years we've been in the habit of holding some deep dis- cussions to come up with a group consensus. We're supposed to see this con- ference as former church members overcoming the Somersault to launch a new church, right? In our decade of communal living this has got to be the most critical situation we've faced.

"That's why we hold our discussions. And these discussions-of people who've lived together for ten years, sharing their pain-we like to hold in private. We really need to talk together-just us and no one else. I hope you'll allow us to do so. And when we meet by ourselves next time, I'm sure one of the topics we'll be discussing is this very question you've put to us."

"Still, though, I find it ironic that we're excluded from your discussions,"

Ms. Kajima commented.

"Once again, I ask your indulgence," Ms. Oyama replied. "The Quiet Women will be working, though, at the party being held tonight at the Farm.

So if you'd like to talk with us individually, that would be a good time to do so.

Ms. Kajima didn't pursue her questioning any further. Instead, she turned her attack to the Technicians.

"The Technicians were the elite at the Izu Research Institute, people I never met or spoke to directly. Which led to me having a one-sided view of all of you. Forgive me for saying this, but the extreme tactics of some of your colleagues pushed Patron and Guide to the wall, forcing them to do the Som- ersault. That's the view of those of us who remained in the church. And then later some of your colleagues-I'm not saying all, mind you-put Guide on trial and ended up causing his death. To us it seemed that the years after you left the church didn't change your way of thinking or your tactics one iota.