Chaim Potok - The Chosen

'I brought you your tefillin and prayer book,' he said very quietly. His voice was husky, and it trembled. 'If they tell you it is all right, you should pray with your tefillin. But only if they tell you it is all right and will not be harmful to your head or your eye.' He stopped for a moment to clear his throat. 'It is a bad cold, but I will be all right. If you cannot pray with your tefillin, pray anyway. Now I have to go.' He bent and kissed me on the forehead. As he came close to me, I saw his eyes were red and misty. 'My baseball player.' he said, trying to smile. 'Take care of yourself and rest. I will be back to see you tomorrow.' He turned and walked quickly away up the aisle, small and thin, but walking with a straight, strong step the way he always walked no matter how he felt. Then he was out of focus and· I could no longer see him.

I lay on the pillow and closed my right eye. I found myself crying after a while, and I thought that might be bad for my eye, and I forced myself to stop. I 1ay still and thought about my eyes. I had always taken them for granted, the way I took for granted all the rest of my body and also my mind. My father had told me many times that health was a gift, but I never really paid much attention to the fact that I was rarely sick or almost never had to go to a doctor. I thought of Billy and Tony Savo. I tried to imagine what my life might be like if I had only one good eye, but I couldn't. I had just never thought of my eyes before. I had never thought what it might be like to be blind. I felt the wild terror again, and I tried to control it. I lay there a long time, thinking about my eyes.

I heard a stir in the ward, opened my right eye, and saw that Billy's father had gone. Billy was lying on his pillow with his palms under his head and his elbows jutting outward. His eyes were open and staring at the ceiling. I saw nurses alongside some of the beds, and I realized that everyone was preparing for sleep. I turned my head to look at Mr Savo. He seemed to be asleep. My head was beginning to hurt a little, and my left wrist still felt sore. I lay very still. I saw the nurse come up to my bed and look down at me with a bright smile.

'Well, now,' she said. 'How are we feeling, young man?'

'My head hurts a little,' I told her.

'That's to be expected.' She smiled at me. 'We'll give you this pill now so you'll have a fine night's sleep.'

She went to the night table and filled a glass with water from a pitcher that stood on a little tray. She helped me raise my head, and I put the pill in my mouth and swallowed it down with some of the water.

'Thank you,' I said, lying back on the pillow.

'You're very welcome, young man. It's nice to meet polite young people. Good night, now.'

'Good night, ma'am. Thank you.' She went away up the aisle.

I turned my head and looked at Billy. He lay very still with his eyes open. I watched him for a moment, then closed my eye. I wondered what it was like to be blind, completely blind. I couldn't imagine it, but I thought it must be something like the way I was feeling now with my eyes closed. But it's not the same, I told myself. I know if I open my right eye I'll see. When you're blind it makes no difference whether you open your eyes or not. I couldn't imagine what it was like to know that no matter whether my eyes were opened or closed it made no difference, everything was still dark.

Asleep, I heard a shout and a noise that sounded like a cheer, and I woke immediately. There was a lot of movement in the ward, and loud voices. I wondered what was happening, there was so much noise and shouting going on and a radio was blaring. I began to sit up, then remembered that I was not yet permitted to sit and put my head back on the pillow. It was light outside, but I could not see the sun. I wondered what the noise was all about, and then I saw Mrs Carpenter walking sternly up the aisle. She was telling people to stop all the shouting and to remember that this was a hospital and not Madison Square Garden. I looked over at Billy. He was sitting straight up in his bed, and I could tell he was trying to make out what was going on. His face looked puzzled and a little frightened. I turned to look at Mr Savo, and I saw he was not in his bed.

The noise quieted a little, but the radio was still blaring. I couldn't make it out too clearly because every now and then someone would interrupt with a shout or a cheer. The announcer was talking about places called Caen and Carentan. He said something about a British airborne division seizing bridgeheads and two American airborne divisions stopping enemy troops from moving into the Cotentin Peninsula. I didn't recognize any of the names, and I wondered why everyone was so excited. There was war news all the time, but no one got this excited unless something very special was happening. I thought I could see Mr Savo sitting on one of the beds. Mrs Carpenter went over to him, and from the way she walked I thought she was angry. I saw Mr Savo get to his feet and come back up the aisle. The announcer was saying something about the Isle of Wight and the Normandy coast and Royal Air Force bombers attacking enemy coast-defence guns and United States Air Force bombers attacking shore defences. I suddenly realized what was happening and felt my heart begin to beat quickly.

I saw Mr Savo come up to my bed. He was angry, and his long, thin face with the black eyepatch made him look like a pirate. '

'Go back to your bed, Mr Savo,'" he mimicked. '

'Go back to your bed this instant." You'd think I was dying. This is no time to be in bed.'

'Is it the invasion of Europe, Mr Savo?' I asked him eagerly. I was feeling excited and a little tense, and I wished the people who were cheering would be quiet.

He looked down at me. 'It's D-day, Bobby boy. Were clopping them good. And Tony Savo has to go back, to his bed.' Then he spotted the portable radio my father had brought me the night before. 'Hey, Bobby boy, is that your radio?'

'That's right,' I said excitedly. 'I forgot all about it.'

'Lucky, lucky us.' He was smiling broadly and no longer looked like a pirate. 'We'll put it on the table between our beds and give it a listen, eh?'

'I think Billy will want to hear it too, Mr Savo.' I looked over at Billy.

Billy turned and stared in the direction of my voice. 'Do you have a radio here, Bobby?' He seemed very excited.

'It's right here, Billy. Right between our beds.'

'My uncle is a pilot. He flies big planes that drop bombs. Can you turn it on?'

'Sure, kid.' Mr Savo turned on the radio, found the station with the same announcer who was coming over the other radio, then got into his bed and lay back on his pillow. The three of us lay in our beds and listened to the news of the invasion.

Mrs Carpenter came up the aisle. She was still a little angry over all the noise in the ward, but I could see she was also excited. She asked me how I was feeling.

'I'm feeling fine, ma'am.'

'That's very good. Is that your radio?'

'Yes, ma'am. My father brought it to me.'

'How nice. You may sit up a little if you wish.'

'Thank you.' I was happy to hear that. 'May I pray with my tefillin?'

'Your phylacteries?'

'Yes, ma'am.'

'I don't see why not. You'll be careful of the bump on your head, now.'.

'Yes, ma'am. Thank you.'

She looked sternly at Mr Savo. 'I see you're behaving yourself, Mr Savo.'

Mr Savo looked at her out of his left eye and grunted. 'You'd think I was dying.'

'You are to remain in bed, Mr Savo.'

Mr Savo grunted again.

She went back up the aisle.

'Tough as a ring post,' Mr Savo said, grinning. 'Turn it up a bit, Bobby boy. Can't hear it too good.'

I leaned over and turned up the volume of the radio. It felt good to be able to move again.