Haruki Murakami - Kafka on the Shore

"What's the matter? Are you all right?" Hoshino asked.

"I'm sorry, I just seem to be a little tired. Nakata doesn't feel so well. I'd like to lie down and sleep for a while."

Nakata's face did look awfully pale. His eyes were sunken, his fingers trembling. Just a few hours was all it took, it seemed, for him to have aged terribly.

"Okay, I'll lay out the futon for you. Feel free to sleep as much as you want," Hoshino said. "But are you sure you're okay? Does your stomach hurt? Do you feel like you're gonna hurl? Any ringing in your ears? Or maybe you have to take a dump. Should I get a doctor? Do you have insurance?"

"Yes, the Governor gave me an insurance card, and I keep it safe in my bag."

"That's good," Hoshino said, dragging the futon out of the closet and spreading it out. "I know this isn't the time to go into details, but it isn't the Governor of Tokyo who gave you the card. It's a National Health card, so it's the Japanese government that issued it to you. I don't know all that much about it, but I'm sure that's the case. The Governor himself isn't looking after every little detail of your life, okay? So forget about him for a while."

"Nakata understands. The Governor didn't give me the insurance card. I'll try to forget about him for a while. Anyway, I don't think I need a doctor. If I can just get some sleep I should be all right."

"Wait a sec. You're not going to pull one of those thirty-six-hour marathons, are you?"

"I don't know. I don't decide how long I'm going to sleep and then stick to that."

"Well, I guess that makes sense," Hoshino admitted. "Nobody does that. Okay-just sleep as long as you like. It's been a rough day. All that thunder, plus talking with the stone, right? And that entrance thing opening up. Not something you see every day, that's for sure. You had to use your head a lot, so you must be tired. Don't worry about anything, just relax and catch some shut-eye. Let old Hoshino handle the rest."

"Much obliged. I'm always putting you out, aren't I? Nakata can never thank you enough for all you've done. If you hadn't been with me, I wouldn't have known what to do. And you have your own important work to do."

"Yeah, I guess so," Hoshino said in a gloomy voice. So many things had happened, he'd completely forgotten about his job. "Now that you mention it, I really should be getting back to work soon. The boss's blowing a gasket as we speak, I'll bet. I phoned him and said I had to take a few days off to take care of something, but haven't checked in since. Once I get back he'll really let me have it."

He lit up a fresh Marlboro, leisurely exhaling the smoke. He stared at a crow perched on top of a telephone pole and made silly faces at it. "But who cares? He can say what he likes-blow steam out of his ears for all I care. Look, I've been pulling more than my weight for years, working my tail off. Hey, Hoshino, we're shorthanded, so how 'bout making a night run to Hiroshima? Okay, boss, I'm on it… Always did what they told me to do, never a complaint. Thanks to which my back got shot to hell. If you didn't fix it for me things would've gone from bad to worse. I'm only in my mid-twenties, so why should I ruin my health over some crummy job, right? What's wrong with a few days off now and then? But you know, Mr. Nakata, I-"

Hoshino suddenly realized the old man was sound asleep. Eyes shut tight, face pointed toward the ceiling, lips firmly pressed together, Nakata was breathing peacefully. The flipped-over stone lay near his pillow.

Man, I've never seen anyone fall asleep as fast as him, Hoshino thought admiringly.

With time on his hands, he stretched out and watched some television, but he couldn't stand any of the insipid afternoon programs so he decided to go out. He'd run out of clean underwear and needed to buy some. He detested washing clothes. Better to buy some cheap underpants, he always figured, than bother with washing the old scuzzy ones. He went to the front desk of the inn to pay for the next day and told them his companion was asleep and they weren't to wake him up. "Not that you could if you tried," he added.

He wandered down the streets, sniffing the post-rain scent in the air, dressed in his usual Dragons cap, green-tinted Ray-Bans, and aloha shirt. He picked up a newspaper at a kiosk at the station and checked how the Dragons were doing-they lost to Hiroshima in an away game-then scanned the movie schedule and decided to see the latest Jackie Chan film. The timing was perfect. He asked directions at the police box and found out it was close by, so he walked. He bought his ticket, went inside, and watched the movie, munching on peanuts.

When he got out of the movie it was already evening. He wasn't all that hungry, but since he couldn't think of anything else to do he decided to have dinner. He popped into a place nearby and ordered sushi and a beer. He was more tired than he realized, and only finished half the beer.

That makes sense, though, he thought. Lifting that heavy stone, of course I'm beat. I feel like I'm the oldest of the Three Little Pigs. All the mean old wolf's gotta do is huff and puff and I'll be blasted all the way to Okayama.

He left the sushi bar and happened to run across a pachinko place. Before he knew it, he was down twenty dollars. He figured it just wasn't his day, so he gave up on pachinko and wandered around. He remembered he still hadn't bought any underwear. Damn-that was the whole point of going out, he told himself. He went into a discount store in the shopping district and bought underpants, white T-shirts, and socks. Now he could finally toss his dirty underwear. He decided it was about time for a new aloha shirt and scoured a few shops looking for one, only to conclude that the pickings in Takamatsu were pretty slim. Summer and winter alike he always wore aloha shirts, but that didn't mean just any aloha shirt would do.

He stopped at a nearby bakery and bought some bread, in case Nakata woke up hungry in the middle of the night, as well as a small carton of orange juice. Next he went to a bank and used the ATM to withdraw five hundred dollars. Checking his balance, he found there was still quite a lot left. These past few years had been so busy that he'd hardly had time to spend any money.

By this time it was completely dark, and he had a sudden yearning for a cup of coffee. He looked around, spotting a sign for a café just off the main drag. It turned out to be the kind of old-fashioned coffee shop you don't find much anymore. He went inside, eased back onto a soft, comfortable chair, and ordered a cup. Chamber music filtered out of the solid, British-made walnut speakers. Hoshino was the only customer. He sank back in his chair and, for the first time in quite a while, felt completely at ease. Everything in the shop was calming, natural, easy to feel comfortable with. The coffee, served in a fancy cup, was rich and delicious. Hoshino closed his eyes, breathing in quietly, and listened to the intertwining of strings and piano. He'd hardly ever listened to classical music before, but it was soothing and put him in an introspective mood.

Sunk back in his soft chair, eyes closed, lost in the music, a number of thoughts crossed his mind-mostly having to do with himself. But the more he thought about himself, the less reality his existence seemed to have. He began to feel like some meaningless appendage sitting there.

I've always been a great fan of the Chunichi Dragons, he thought, but what are the Dragons to me, anyway? Say they beat the Giants-how's that going to make me a better person? How could it? So why the heck have I spent all this time getting worked up like the team was some extension of myself?

Mr. Nakata said he's empty. Maybe he is, for all I know. But what does that make me? He said an accident when he was little made him that way-empty. But I never had an accident. If Mr. Nakata's empty, that makes me worse than empty! At least he has something about him-whatever it was that made me drop everything and follow him to Shikoku. Don't ask me what that something is, though…