Jose Saramago - Seeing

The superintendent went into the kitchen for a drink of water, then he went into his room. The bed was still unmade, a pair of dirty socks lay on the floor, one here, one over there, a dirty shirt was draped untidily over a chair, not to mention the state the bathroom was in, this is a matter which providential ltd, insurance and reinsurance will have to resolve sooner or later, i.e. whether or not it is compatible with the natural discretion surrounding the work of the secret service to place at the disposal of the agents who stay here a woman who would act as housekeeper, cook and chambermaid. The superintendent gave the sheet and bedspread a quick tug, punched the pillow a couple of times, rolled up the shirt and the socks and stuffed them in a drawer, and the desolate appearance of the room improved a little, although, naturally, any female hand would have done it better. He looked at the clock, it was a good time, although he would soon find out whether the result would be equally good. He sat down, switched on the desk lamp and dialed the number. On the fourth ring, a voice answered, Hello, It's puffin here, Albatross speaking, Just calling in to report on the day's operations, albatross, Well, I hope you have some satisfactory results to give me, puffin, That depends on what you call satisfactory, albatross, Look, I have neither the time nor the patience for the finer shades of meaning, puffin, get to the point, May I ask you first, albatross, if the package reached its destination, What package, The nine o'clock package, at post six-north, Oh, yes, it arrived perfectly, it's going to be very useful, you'll find out just how useful in due course, puffin, but now tell me what you and your men have been up to today, There's really not much to tell, albatross, a couple of surveillance operations and an interrogation, Let's take things one at a time, puffin, what was the result of the surveillance operations, Practically nil, albatross, Why, Throughout the time they were being followed, the people we would term the number two suspects behaved absolutely normally, albatross, And what about the interrogation of the number one suspects, which, I seem to recall, was your responsibility, puffin, To be perfectly honest, What did you say, To be perfectly honest, albatross, What's all this about honesty, puffin, It's just a way of beginning a sentence, albatross, Then will you please stop being perfectly honest and tell me, simply, whether or not you are in a position to confirm, without beating about the bush and without any further circumlocutions, that the doctor's wife, whose photo I have before me, is guilty, She admitted she was guilty of a murder, albatross, You know that for many reasons, amongst them the lack of a corpus delicti, this is not what interests us, Yes, albatross, So get straight to the point and tell me whether or not you can confirm that the doctor's wife is part of the movement behind the blank votes and that she may even be the head of the whole organization, No, albatross, I can't confirm that, Why, puffin, Because no policeman in the world, albatross, and I consider myself to be the last of them, would find a scrap of evidence to support such an accusation, You appear to have forgotten, puffin, that we had agreed that you would provide the necessary proof, And what proof would that be in a case like this, albatross, if you don't mind my asking, That neither was nor is my affair, I left that to your judgement, puffin, when I was still confident that you would be capable of bringing your mission to a successful conclusion, With respect, albatross, deciding that a suspect is innocent of the crime he or she is accused of seems to me the most successful of conclusions, Let's drop this code-name comedy, you're a police superintendent and I'm the interior minister, Yes, minister, Now, in order to see if we can finally come to some understanding, I'm going to put the question I asked you just now in a different way, Yes, minister, Setting aside your personal beliefs, are you prepared to confirm that the doctor's wife is guilty, yes or no, No, minister, And you have weighed the consequences of what you have just said, Yes, minister, Very well, then, take a note of the decisions I have just taken, I'm listening, minister, You will tell the inspector and the sergeant that they have orders to return tomorrow morning, that at nine o'clock they must be at post six-north on the frontier where they will be met by the person who will bring them here, a man more or less your age and wearing a blue tie with white spots, tell them to bring the car you've been using and which will, of course, no longer be necessary, Yes, minister, And as for you, As for me, minister, You will remain in the capital until you receive further orders, which will doubtless not be long in coming, And the investigation, You yourself said that there is nothing to investigate, that the suspect is innocent, That is my sincere belief, minister, Then you certainly can't complain, your case is solved, But what shall I do while I'm here, Nothing, do nothing, go for walks, enjoy yourself, go to the cinema, the theater, visit the museums, and, if you like, invite your new friends out to supper, charge it to the ministry, Minister, I don't understand, The five days I gave you for the investigation are still not yet up, perhaps in the time that remains a different light will go on in your head, I doubt it, minister, Nevertheless, five days are five days, and I'm a man of my word, Yes, minister, Good night, sleep well, superintendent, Good night, minister.

The superintendent put down the phone. He got up from the chair and went to the bathroom. He needed to see the face of the man who had just been summarily dismissed. The actual words had not been spoken, but could be clearly seen, letter by letter, in all the other words, even those wishing him a good night's sleep. He wasn't surprised, he knew exactly what his interior minister was like and knew that he would be made to pay for not having obeyed the instructions he had received, the explicit and, above all, the implied instructions, the latter had, after all, been as clear as the former, but he was surprised by the serenity of the face he saw in the mirror, a face from which the lines seemed to have vanished, a face in which the eyes had become limpid and luminous, the face of a man of fifty-seven, a police superintendent by profession, who had just been through the fire and had emerged from it as if from a purifying bath. Yes, a bath would be a good idea. He got undressed and stepped into the shower. He allowed the water to flow freely, after all, what did he care, the ministry would foot the bill, he slowly soaped himself and again the water washed away any remaining dirt from his body, then his memory carried him on its back to a time four years ago, when they were all blind and wandering, filthy and starving, about the city, ready to do anything for a crust of stale, mouldy bread, for anything that could be eaten, or at least chewed, as a way of staving off hunger with their own juices, he imagined the doctor's wife guiding through the streets, beneath the rain, her little flock of unfortunates, her six lost sheep, her six fledglings fallen from the nest, her six newborn blind kittens, perhaps one day, in some street or other, he had bumped into them, perhaps they, out of fear, had repelled him, perhaps, out of fear, he had repelled them, it was every man for himself at the time, steal before they steal from you, hit out before they hit you, your worst enemy, according to the law of the blind, is always the person nearest you, But it's not only when we have no eyes that we don't know where we're going, he thought. The hot water fell clamorously upon his head and shoulders, it coursed over his body and disappeared, clean and gurgling, down the drain. He got out of the shower, dried himself on the bath towel bearing the police emblem, picked up the clothes he had left hanging on the hook and went into the bedroom. He put on clean underwear, his last, and it would have to be his last, for he hadn't thought of packing any more for a mission lasting only five days. He looked at his watch, it was nearly nine o'clock. He went into the kitchen, boiled some water for tea, dunked one sad teabag in the water and waited for the recommended number of minutes. The biscuits were like sugary granite. He bit into them hard, reduced them to smaller pieces that were easier to chew, then slowly crumbled them up. He sipped his tea, he preferred the green variety, but had to content himself with this black stuff, so old it hardly tasted of anything, providential ltd, insurance and reinsurance, really should stop lavishing such luxuries on its temporary guests. The minister's words echoed sarcastically in his ears, The five days I gave you for the investigation are still not yet up, until they are, go for walks, enjoy yourself, go to the cinema, charge it to the ministry, and he wondered what would happen then, would they send him back to headquarters, alleging that he was incapable of active service, would they sit him down at a desk to shuffle papers, a superintendent demoted to the lowly condition of pen-pusher, that would be his future, unless they made him take early retirement and forgot about him and only mentioned his name again when he died and they could strike him from the staff records. He finished eating, he threw the cold, damp teabag into the rubbish bin, washed the cup and scooped the crumbs off the table with the edge of his hand. He did all this with great concentration in order to keep his thoughts at bay, in order to let them in only one at a time, having first asked them what they contained, because you can't be too careful with thoughts, some present themselves to us with a cloying air of false innocence and then, when it's too late, reveal their true wicked selves. He again looked at his watch, a quarter to ten, how time passes. He left the kitchen and went into the living-room, sat down on a sofa and waited. He woke to the sound of the key in the door. The inspector and the sergeant came in, they had clearly had plenty to eat and drink, not, however, to any reprehensible extent. They said their good evenings, then the inspector, on behalf of them both, apologized for coming in a little late. The superintendent looked at his watch, it was past eleven, It's not that late, he said, but I'm afraid you're going to have to get up rather earlier than you perhaps expected, Another mission, asked the inspector, placing a package on the table, Yes, if you can call it that. The superintendent paused, glanced again at his watch and went on, At nine o'clock tomorrow morning you are to be at military post six-north with all your belongings, Why, asked the sergeant, You've been taken off the investigation that brought you here, Was that your decision, sir, asked the inspector, grave-faced, No, it was the minister's decision, But why, He didn't tell me, but don't worry, I'm sure he's got nothing against you personally, he'll ask you a lot of questions, but you'll know what to say, Does that mean you're not coming with us, sir, asked the sergeant, No, I'm staying here, Are you going to continue the investigation on your own, The investigation is over, With no concrete results, Neither concrete nor abstract, Then I don't understand why you're not coming with us, said the inspector, Orders from the minister, I'll stay here until the end of the five-day period he originally set, which means until Thursday, And what then, Perhaps he'll tell you when he questions you, Questions us about what, About how the investigation went, about how I ran it, But you just said that the investigation was over, Yes, but it's possible he may want to continue it in other ways, although not with me, Well, I can't make head nor tail of it, said the sergeant. The superintendent got up, went into the study and returned with a map, which he spread out on the table, pushing the package a little to one side to make room. Post six-north is here, he said, placing his finger on it, don't go to the wrong one, waiting for you will be a man whom the minister describes as more or less my age, but he's actually quite a lot younger, you'll recognize him by the tie he'll be wearing, blue with white spots, when I met him, we had to exchange passwords, but I don't think that will be necessary this time, at least the minister didn't say anything to me about it, I don't understand, said the inspector, It's seems pretty clear, said the sergeant, we just go to post six-north, No, what I don't understand is why we're leaving and the superintendent is staying, The minister must have his reasons, Ministers always do, But they never say what they are. The superintendent intervened, There's no point talking about it, your best bet is not to ask for any explanations and to distrust any explanations they offer you, in the unlikely event that they do, because they're nearly always lies. He carefully folded up the map and, as if the thought had just occurred to him, said, You take the car, You're not even keeping the car, asked the inspector, There are plenty of buses and taxis in the city, besides, walking is good for the health, This whole thing is just getting harder and harder to understand, There's nothing to understand, my friend, I was given my orders and I'm carrying them out, and you must do the same, you can analyse and ponder all you like, but it doesn't change the reality one millimeter. The inspector pushed the package toward him, We brought this, he said, What is it, Well, the stuff they left for our breakfast here is so awful, we decided to buy some different biscuits, a bit of cheese, some decent butter, ham and a sandwich loaf, Are you going to take it with you or leave it here, said the superintendent, smiling, Well, if you're in agreement, sir, tomorrow we'll have breakfast together and whatever's left stays, said the inspector, smiling too. They had all smiled, the sergeant keeping the others company, but now all three were serious again, not knowing what to say. In the end, the superintendent said, I'm off to bed, I slept badly last night and it's been a busy day, starting with that business at post six-north, What business, sir, asked the superintendent, we don't yet know why you went to post six-north, No, that's true, I didn't get a chance to tell you, well, on orders from the minister I went and handed over the group photograph to that man wearing the blue tie with white spots, the same man you're going to meet tomorrow, What would the minister want with that photo, To use his words, we'll find out in due course, It smells very fishy to me. The superintendent nodded and went on, Then, by pure coincidence, I bumped into the doctor's wife, joined them for lunch at their apartment, and then, to top it all, had the conversation with the minister I told you about, We have the greatest respect for you, sir, said the inspector, but there's one thing we'll never forgive you, and I know I'm speaking for both of us here because we've already talked about it, What's that, You never let us go to that woman's apartment, You went there, inspector, Only to be shooed straight out again, Yes, that's true, agreed the superintendent, Why, Because I was afraid, Afraid of what, we're not monsters, Afraid that the need to find a guilty party at all costs would stop you seeing the person who was there before you, Did you trust us so little, sir, It wasn't a question of trust, of whether I did or didn't trust you, it was more as if I had found a treasure and wanted to keep it all to myself, no, that's not it, it wasn't a question of feelings, that wasn't what I was thinking, I simply feared for that woman's safety, I thought that the fewer people who questioned her, the safer she would be, So put in plain and simple language, and forgive my boldness, sir, said the sergeant, you didn't trust us, No, you're right, I admit it, I didn't, Well, don't bother asking our forgiveness, said the inspector, you're forgiven already, especially since you may well have been right to be afraid, we could have ruined everything, we could have gone in there like a couple of bulls in a china shop. The superintendent opened the package, took out two slices of bread, put two slices of ham in between and gave an apologetic smile, I must confess I'm hungry, all I had was a cup of tea and I nearly broke my teeth on those bloody biscuits. The sergeant went into the kitchen and brought him a can of beer and a glass, Here you are, sir, this will help the bread slide down more easily. The superintendent sat down and munched his way through the ham sandwich, savoring every mouthful, then drank down the beer as if he were washing clean his soul, and when he had finished, he said, Right, now I will go to bed, sleep well, you two, and thanks for supper. He went over to the door that led to his bedroom, stopped and turned round, I'm going to miss you, he said. He paused and added, Don't forget what I told you earlier, What do you mean, sir, asked the inspector, That I have the feeling you're really going to need each other, don't be taken in by any sweet talk or promises of rapid promotion, I'm responsible for the conclusions reached by this investigation and no one else, you won't be betraying me as long as you tell the truth, but refuse to accept any lies in the name of a truth that is not your own, Yes, sir, promised the inspector, Help each other, said the superintendent, and then, That's all I wish for you, all I ask of you.