Mary Burchell - Nobody Asked Me

‘It’s simply a-a question of whether you think getting that job in Buenos Aires is worth the risk of marrying me.’

‘Not only that, Alison,’ he said. ‘There’s another side to it too.’

‘What?’

‘Look at me.’ His voice was quiet but peremptory, and reluctantly she raised her scared brown eyes to his face. There’s the question of whether you think escaping from your life here is worth the risk of marrying me.’

‘But I’ve told you-’ Alison whispered.

He stared unsmilingly at her, and then all at once he drew her against him.

‘Poor little Alison. You’re terribly scared really, aren’t you?’

But for a moment she felt him put his cheek down against the top of her head as though it were he, and not she, who needed comforting.

‘I’m not scared-exactly,’ she said, with a shaky little laugh. ‘Only it’s rather a shock to find you’ve proposed to someone.’

He laughed a little, too, at that. ‘Good lord, I suppose that is what you did. And I haven’t really even accepted you yet, have I?’

She moved slightly in a circle of his arm.

‘Do you realise what you’re taking on, I wonder?’ He spoke much more gently now. ‘I’m not a very easy man to live with, you know. I think Rosalie would tell you I’m violent and unreasonable and difficult.’

‘I’m not interested in Rosalie’s opinion of you,’ Alison said quietly. ‘We’re not likely to see eye to eye on anything-least of all on you.’

For some reason, that seemed to please him. He tightened his arm impulsively and said, ‘You’re a darling, Alison-and extraordinarily comforting.’

‘I’m very glad.’ She moved her hand rather shyly up and down his arm with a little caressing movement. ‘I-I meant to be comforting,’ she said gently, ‘but I think I must just have sounded aggressive and rather shameless.’

He laughed softly, even a little teasingly. ‘Not aggressive exactly. Merely as though you were sure you knew what was best for us. And as for being shameless, why, the only time you raised your eyes to my face was when I deliberately told you to.’

‘Oh.’ She coloured.

Then she saw suddenly that he was not noticing her any more. An idea seemed to have struck him. He put her away from him, gently but quite firmly, and, getting up, began to walk up and down the room.

She watched him nervously, and, when he stopped abruptly in front of her, she got hastily to her feet as though feeling a little foolish at discovering that she was still crouching there.

‘Would you be very much afraid if I took you back into that room with me now, and told them I was engaged to you?’ His curiously light grey eyes looked cold and brilliant in his dark face.

‘Why, of course not,’ she said gently. ‘At least-if you think that is the best way to do it, I’m quite ready. It’s going to be rather a shock for them, whichever way we choose.’

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘it’s going to be rather a shock.’ And, at the expression on his face, Alison caught herself hoping nervously that she would never make him look like that. He was a good hater, she could see.

‘Give me your hand, Alison,’ he said abruptly.

‘My hand? Why?’

He looked a little drily amused at that.

‘Why do you think?’ he said as he drew off his signet ring.

‘Oh!’ Alison went scarlet and then white.

‘It’s only a makeshift, of course. I’ll buy you a real one to-morrow-whatever you like. But I’m going to make them all believe that Rosalie and I parted by mutual consent, because we both wanted someone else.’

She bit her lip sharply. There was something of the angry, hurt boy about this feverish, transparent effort to ease his crushed pride, to take away the sting of the frightful humiliation Rosalie had put on him.

‘I think it’s a good idea,’ she said in a resolutely matter-of-fact tone, and was touched again to see the relief in his face.

She held out her left hand, the fingers spread out a little, and he put his signet ring on her finger.

It was large for her and slipped round, so that only the plain gold band of the inside showed.

‘Prophetic,’ remarked Julian, and laughed slightly.

‘Yes,’ Alison said, but her voice was only a whisper, for an odd lump seemed to have lodged in her throat.

Then he drew her arm lightly through his, and they went out of the room together.

The first person they met was Uncle Theodore, who was crossing the hall.

‘Julian, I’m dreadfully sorry about this disgraceful business,’ he began. Then, as he noticed Alison’s insignificant presence: ‘Run along, Alison. I want to speak to Mr. Tyndrum a moment.’

She would have gone at once, used as she was to effacing herself, but Julian pressed his arm against his side so that she couldn’t withdraw her hand.

‘You really mustn’t distress yourself about it, Mr. Leadburn,’ he said pleasantly and casually. ‘I’m afraid you’ve heard only half of the story-especially since you suggest that Alison should leave us.’

‘Alison?’ Uncle Theodore had evidently never supposed that his niece counted for much in any domestic crisis.

‘Certainly.’ Julian was smiling a little now, and he calmly drew his arm away, to put it lightly round her. ‘Alison and I are engaged.’

‘Alison and you!’ Uncle Theodore looked stupefied, and Alison thought irrelevantly that she had never seen his expression change so often in so short a time.

‘Yes.’ Julian glanced down at her with an appearance of tenderness which shook her badly. ‘Rosalie’s-courageous frankness about her preference for Myrton served my happiness as well as hers. It left me free to admit that I too had made a mistake which I was anxious to repair.’

‘Rosalie’s what’?’ said Uncle Theodore contemptuously. ‘You know as well as I do that her motive was just selfish spite.’

‘But need we examine Rosalie’s motives so closely,’ Julian said mildly, ‘since we are all quite happy at what has happened?’

Alison marvelled at the calm way he withstood her uncle’s penetrating look. She herself trembled a little when it was turned to her.

‘And what have you to say about it, Alison?’ Her uncle’s tone was not unkindly; only puzzled.

‘I’m very happy,’ she said softly. And she supposed that in a sense that was true.

‘Hm! Been eating your heart out for Julian all along, I suppose?’ he said drily.

She couldn’t quite make herself answer that in words. It was too uncomfortably near the truth. So she just nodded, and stared hard at the ground.

‘Well’-her uncle turned back to Julian, his air not un-tinged with amusement-’I suppose I don’t need to tell you that I think you’re less to be pitied than Myrton.’

‘I assure you I don’t feel in any need of pity,’ Julian said, smiling. And Alison was oddly certain that it gave immense satisfaction to his battered self-respect to be able to say that.

‘Have you told my wife yet?’

‘No. Events followed too quickly on each other, you see.’ Julian was imperturbable still. ‘But I think we must go and tell her now.’

‘Yes, by all means let us go and tell her,’ agreed Uncle Theodore.

When they came into the room, a few couples were drifting about the floor to the strains of dance-music from the radio. But most of the company was gathered about Rosalie, laughing and talking.

For a second Alison felt Julian’s hand tightened unbearably on her arm. She gasped slightly, not so much with the pain of his grip as the pain of knowing that the very sight of another girl could move him so profoundly.

He murmured a word of apology, and at that moment Rosalie saw him. She was evidently taken aback at seeing him still there after his dismissal, but, recovering herself immediately, she addressed him a little defiantly across the room.