Джон Апдайк - Memories of the Ford Administration

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When historian Alfred “Alf” Clayton is invited by an academic journal to record his impressions of the Gerald R. Ford Administration (1974–77), he recalls not the political events of the time but rather a turbulent period of his own sexual past. Alf’s highly idiosyncratic contribution to Retrospect consists not only of reams of unbuttoned personal history but also of pages from an unpublished project of the time, a chronicle of the presidency of James Buchanan (1857–61). The alternating texts mirror each other and tell a story in counterpoint, a frequently hilarious comedy of manners contrasting the erotic etiquette and social dictions of antebellum Washington with those of late-twentieth-century southern New Hampshire. Alf’s style is Nabokovian. His obsessions are vintage Updike.
Memories of the Ford Administration is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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She leaned forward slightly above the table in the booth, here in the steamy late-night student eatery. The high gloss of her face, the fetching little space between her large front teeth, the visible gamble in her bulging hazel eyes seemed to express some numbing animal truth, that my rudimentary brain stem had no word for.

“Ann,” she said. She lowered the hand holding the imaginary cigarette to the silver-starred Formica tabletop, the same motion carrying her eyelids down as if she were fighting a blush.

Oh. Ah. “Ann,” I repeated. That tore it.

Buchanan was waltzing with the Czarina of Russia. Pleasantly plump in his arms she was, the back of her gown of dove-gray silk moist with imperial sweat beneath his hand, here amid the thousand mirrored and refracted candles of the Winter Palace, above the intricately parqueted ballroom floor, while the inflexible Russian winter immobilized, in white chains of snow, the world beyond the tall windows, which were steamed by the hard-breathing gaiety within. Since the days at Dickinson when he notoriously danced on tavern tables, Buchanan enjoyed the self-forgetful methodical whirl of dancing, whether in the stately strides of the polonaise or the looping interlocked triangulations of the waltz. “ Vous dansez très bien, monsieur l’envoyé extraordinaire ,” the empress confided to him, as the orchestra of Parisian musicians, bored and weary, pale and unhappy, with frazzled jabots and blue noses, here in this frostbitten extremity of civilization, lifted the melody to yet a higher plane of irresistibly urging rhythm, thrusting on every third beat. “Peu d’hommes aussi grands que vous le feraient avec une telle grâce.”

Forgetful, in the ecstasy of the music, of the sacred dignity of the majestic person so plump and responsive in his arms, he ventured a small joke: “J’ai appris à danser avec Andrew Jackson. Mon président fait ceux qui le suivent très agiles. Après l’avoir suivi, les pieds sont pleins de la grâce.”

She perhaps did not understand so political a jest, though her life had been lived in palaces. Her father was King Friedrich Wilhelm III of Prussia, an uninspired monarch who, after the crushing defeat at Jena (1806) and the humiliating Treaty of Tilsit (1807), ruled, like royalty all across Europe, in terror of the shades of Napoleon and Jacobinism. Her husband at the time of their marriage, on July 1 (Old Style), 1817, was the Grand Duke Nikolai Pavlovich, and had no prospects of being czar, since, though his oldest brother, reigning as Alexander I, was childless, another older brother, Constantine, stood next in the line of succession. Nicholas, anticipating a life of luxuriant aristocracy, with a smattering of military duty (for which he possessed a certain grim aptitude), threw himself into the joys of family life and, to assuage his wife’s homesickness, imported the Prussian paintings of Caspar David Friedrich, amassing an unsurpassed collection of this exemplary Romantic. The future holds strange treasures; Constantine, having married a Polish wife and taken up residence in Poland, secretly renounced the throne in 1823, so that when Alexander died on December 1 (New Style), 1825, Nicholas became emperor without the fact’s being widely known, Constantine having not deigned to make a public announcement. Army officers professedly loyal to Constantine, but in truth concerned to bring about the abolition of serfdom and the establishment of representative government, staged the Decembrist mutiny, which Nicholas, known as a military martinet, stoutly faced down and quelled. The new czar’s regime thus got off to a reactionary start, and continued by forbidding foreign travel, founding the secret police (the notorious “third section”), and promoting the ideas of nationality ( narodnost ), autocracy, and Orthodox Christianity. Nicholas was not blind to the evils of Russian society , one source tells us, but he feared that changes would be worse yet .

The czarina, realizing that she was being, albeit in full propriety, flirted with, by this tall American in a well-cut but, among the ubiquitous military uniforms glistening with brass and braid, somber black suit, responded, “ Assez de grâce, peut-être, pour vous porter jusqu’à la présidence de votre grand pays, dans la manière du Général Jackson?

Seven years younger than Buchanan, the czarina was to die seven years before him. She had the Germanic, faintly sallow and low-albedo complexion of the better-kept women of Lancaster County, though separated from these females by five thousand miles and twenty degrees of latitude; to this extent Buchanan felt familiar with her. And she with him, for at their very first encounter, upon his presentation, she talked very freely , as his dispatch to President Jackson declared: She spoke on several subjects, and with great rapidity. Amongst other things she observed we were wise in America not to involve ourselves in the foolish troubles of Europe; but she added that we had troubles enough among ourselves at home, and alluded to our difficulties with some of the Southern States . Her observations on this score must have struck Buchanan as reckless or unduly ominous, for he endeavored in a few words to explain this subject to her; but she still persisted in expressing the same opinion, and, of course , [he] would not argue the point . He was disposed to argue, for he goes on in his dispatch, with some feeling, The truth is, that the people of Europe and more especially those of this Country, cannot be made to understand the operations of our Government. Upon hearing of any severe conflicts of opinion in the United States, they believe what they wish, that a revolution may be the consequence. God forbid that the Union should be in any danger! Evidently, she foresaw another American revolution, and he did not; and she was right.

Her face, broad and smooth-skinned, was marked by distinct patches of rouge and a narrow, sharply tipped nose, un peu retroussé . The value of the diamonds at her throat and in her small tiara would have purchased, at a guess, a thousand serfs.

The miserable, snuffling, ill-clad band of imported French musicians changed from a Viennese to a Königsberg tempo — brisker, more military — and the alleged grace within Buchanan’s feet was laggard, momentarily, as he framed a suitably modest yet sufficiently high-spirited response to the empress’s probe in regard to his ambitions. A reflexive “ Mais non, non ” gained him time to offer her the explanation, “ La grâce seule ne suffit pas: il faut aussi — ” His brain, weary of groping in a second language, hesitated among “good fortune,” “suitable friends,” and “the people.” None made quite enough sense, in French. He thought of General Jackson — met in many encounters from all of which Buchanan emerged feeling, as from an interview with his father, diminished if not rebuked — and finished simply, “ la force .”

“La force? La force de la personnalité? La force des alliances politiques?”

She was trying genuinely to understand, he saw, the workings of a system in which birth and inheritance are — inscrutably; blasphemously, even — not the crucial factor. The strange confluences of self-interest and moralism that foment events in a democracy were beyond her but not, as the Decembrists made vivid, beneath royal notice any more; her husband’s personal inquisitions and the hanging of Colonel Pestel and the poet Kondrati Ryleyev would not rid this despotic frozen empire of the warm breath, from the west, of freedom. The pert-nosed empress’s intelligent curiosity for a moment formed, for her partner, here amid the stifling heat and the dizzying whirl of braided uniforms, a small fogged window into the vast dungeon in which all women — Queen Victoria excepted — were condemned to political impotence in this century, constrained to move the levers of power only by moving their men, with charms and beguilements. Poor dear Ann had chafed at this, this natural powerlessness of her sex, save to command men’s feelings and to order the domestic realm.

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