Doris Lessing - The Sweetest Dream

'If you must be with such people, Sylvia, what can I say?'

Frances did not like it, but knew the girl would grow out of it.

For Julia it was a tragedy, her little lamb lost to her, enticed away by sick lunatics.

' These people are not normal, Frances,’ she said tonight, distressed and ready to cry.

Frances did not jest, 'Who is?' – Julia would have embarked on definitions. Frances knew Julia had come down for more than her anxiety over Sylvia, and waited.

‘And how is it that a son may talk to his mother as Colin does to you?'

' He has to say it to someone. '

‘But it is ridiculous, the things he says... I can hear it all, the whole house can hear. '

' He can't say it to Johnny, and so he says it to me. '

' It is so astonishing to me,’ said Julia, ' that they are allowed to behave like this? Why are they?'

' They' re screwed up,’ said Frances. ' Isn't it odd, Julia, don't you think it is strange?'

' It is very strange how they behave,’ said Julia.

‘No, listen, I think about this. They are all so privileged, they have everything, they have more than any of us ever had – well, you might have been different. '

‘No, I did not have a new dress every week. And I did not steal.' Julia's voice rose. 'That thieves' kitchen of yours, Frances, they are all thieves and they have no morals. If they want something they go and steal it. '

' Andrew doesn't. Colin doesn't. I don't think Sophie ever did.'

' The house is full of... you allow them here, they take advantage of you and they are thieves and liars. This was an honourable house. Our family was honourable, and we were respected by everyone. '

‘Yes, and I wonder why they are like that. They all have so

much, they have more than any generation ever had, and yet they are all...'

'They are screwed up,' said Julia, getting up to go. Then she stood in front of Frances, hands apart, as if holding there an invisible thing – a person? – which she was wringing, like a cloth. 'It's a good expression, that: screwed up. I know why they are. Disturbed, did you say Colin was? They' re all war children, that is why. Two terrible wars and this is the result. They are children of war. Do you think there can be wars like that, terrible terrible wars and then you can say, All right, that's over, now back to normal. Nothing's normal now. The children aren't normal. And youtoo...’ but she stopped herself, and Frances was not to hear what Julia thought of her. 'And now Sylvia, with those spiritualists, they call themselves, did you know they turn out the lights and sit holding hands and some idiot woman pretends to be talking to a ghost?'

‘Yes, I know. '

‘And yet you sit there, you always just listen, but you don't stop them. '

Frances said, as the old woman went out, ' Julia, we can't stop them.'

‘I shall stop Sylvia. I shall tell her she can go back home to her mother, if she wants to run around with those people. '

The door shut and Frances said aloud into the empty room, ‘No, Julia, you will not do that, you are merely muttering to yourself like an old witch, to let off steam. '

On that same evening, when Julia's ' This was an honourable house'still sounded in Frances's ears, the doorbell rang, late, and Frances went down. On the doorstep were two girls, of about fifteen, and their hostile but demanding looks warned Frances of what she would hear which was, 'Let us in. Rose is expecting us. '

‘I wasn't expecting you. Who are you?'

' Rose says we can live here,’ said one, apparently about to push her way in past Frances.

'It isn't for Rose to say who can live here and who can't,' said Frances, quite amazed at herself for standing her ground. Then, as the girls stood hesitating, she said, 'If you want to see Rose then come tomorrow at a reasonable time. I think she'll be asleep by now.'

‘No, she isn't. ‘And Frances looked down to the window of the basement flat, to see Rose energetically gesticulating to her friends. She heard, ‘I told you she's an old cow. '

The girls went off, with what can you expect gestures to Rose. One said loudly over her shoulder, ‘When we've won the Revolution you'll be laughing on the other side of your face.'

Frances went straight down to Rose, who stood waiting, quivering with rage. Her black hair, no longer tamed by the Evansky haircut, seemed to bristle, her face was red, and she actually seemed to be on the point of physically attacking Frances.

‘What the hell do you mean by telling people they can come and live here?'

'It's my flat, isn't it? I can do what I like in my own flat.'

'It's not your flat. We are allowing you to stay in it until you've finished school. But if there are other people who need it, they'll be using the second room. '

‘I’m going to let that room,’ said Rose.

And now Frances was startled into silence, because of the impossibility ofwhat was happening, hardly an unfamiliar situation with Rose. Then she saw that Rose stood triumphant, because she had not been contradicted, and she said, ‘We' re not charging you to live here. You live here absolutely free, so how can you imagine for a moment that you could let out a room?'

‘I have to,’ shouted Rose. ‘I can't live on what my parents are giving me. It's just peanuts. They' re so mean. '

‘Why should you need more when you' re not paying anything at all for living here, and you eat with us, and your school's all paid for?'

But now Rose was on a roll of rage, out of control. 'Shits, all of you, that's all you are. And you don't care about my friends.

They have nowhere to go. They've been sleeping on a bench at King's Cross. I suppose that's what you want me to do.'

'If that's what you want, then off you go,' said Frances. 'I'm not stopping you. '

Rose shouted, 'Your precious Andrew knocks me up and then you throw me out like a dog. '

This did take Frances aback, but she reminded herself it was not true... and then she had to remember that Jill's abortion had been arranged without her knowing anything about it. This hesitation gave Rose the advantage, and she screamed, ‘And look at Jill, you made her have an abortion when she didn't want one. '

'I didn't know she was pregnant. I didn't know anything about it,’ said Frances, and understood she was arguing with Rose, which no sane person would do.

‘And I suppose you didn't know about me either? All this lovey-dovey be nice to Rose, but you're covering up for Andrew.'

Frances said, ‘You are lying. I know when you are lying. ‘And then was shocked again: Colin said she never knew anything that went on: suppose Rose had been pregnant? But, no, Andrew would have told her.

‘And I'm not going to go on living here when you' re so horrible to me. I know when I'm not wanted.'

The grotesqueness of this last statement actually made Frances laugh but it was also from relief at the thought that Rose might actually go. The degree of relief told her just how great a burden the presence of Rose was. ' Good,’ she said. ‘Well, Rose, I agree with you. It is obviously better for you to leave, when you feel like that. '

And she went up the stairs, in a silence like the one they say lies at the heart of a storm. A glance showed Rose's face lifted up in what seemed to be a prayer – but then she howled.

Frances shut the door on her, ran up to her room, and flung herself on her bed. Oh, my God, to get rid of Rose, just to get rid of Rose: but commonsense crept back with, But of course she won't go.

She heard Rose thundering past up the stairs, heard the hammering on Andrew's door. She was up there a good long time. Frances – indeed, the whole house – could hear the sobs, the cries, the threats.

Then, well past midnight, she crept back down past Frances's rooms, and there was silence.