John Irving - The Cider House Rules

'You wanna love me or help me?' she asked him.

'Both,' he said miserably.

'Ain't no such thing as both,' she said. 'If you smart, you just stick with helpin' me-that easier.'

'You can stay with me,' Angel began-again.

'Don't tell me no more 'bout that!' Rose Rose said angrily. 'Don't tell me no more names for my baby, either. Just plain help me,' she said.

'How?' Angel asked. 'Anything,' he told her.

'Just get me an abortion,' Rose Rose said. 'I don't live 'round here, I don't know nobody to ask, and I got no money.'

Angel thought that the money he'd been saving to buy his first car would probably be enough money for an abortion-he had saved about five hundred dollars-but the problem was that the money was in a savings account, the trustees of which were his father and Candy; Angel couldn't take any money out without their signatures. And when Angel called Herb Fowler at home, the news regarding the abortionist was typically vague.

'There's some old fart named Hood who does 'em,' Herb told Angel. 'He's a retired doctor from Cape Kenneth. But he does the business in his summer house over on Drinkwater. Lucky for you it's still almost summer. I heard he does 'em in the summer house even if it's the middle of the winter.' {683}

'Do you know what it costs?' Angel asked Herb.

'A lot,' Herb said. 'But it don't cost as much as a baby.'

'Thanks, Herb,' Angel said.

'Congratulations,' Herb Fowler told the boy. 'I didn't know your pecker was long enough.'

'It's long enough,' Angel said bravely.

But when Angel looked in the phone book, there was no Dr. Hood among the many Hoods in that part of Maine, and Herb Fowler didn't know the man's first name. Angel knew he couldn't call everyone named Hood and ask, each time, if this was the abortioniSt. Angel also knew he'd have to speak to Candy and his father in order to get the money, and so he didn't delay in telling them the whole story.

'God, what a good boy Angel is!' Wally would say later. 'He never tries to keep anything from anybody. He just comes right out with it-no matter what it is.'

'She wouldn't tell you who the father is?' Homer Wells asked Angel.

'No, she wouldn't,' Angel said.

'Maybe Muddy,' Wally said.

'Probably Peaches,' Candy said.

'What's it matter if she doesn't want to say who the father is? The main thing is she doesn't want the baby,' said Homer Wells. 'The main thing is to get her an abortion.' Wally and Candy were quiet; they wouldn't question Homer's authority on this subject.

'The problem is, how do we know which Hood to call, when the phone book doesn't say which one is the doctor?' Angel asked.

'I know which one it is,' Homer said, 'and he's not a doctor.'

'Herb said he was a retired doctor,' Angel said.

'He's a retired biology teacher,' said Homer Wells, who knew exactly which Mr. Hood it was. Homer also remembered that Mr. Hood had once confused a rabbit's uteri with a sheep's. He wondered how many uteri Mr. Hood imagined women had? And would he be more {684} careful if he knew a woman had only one?

'A biology teacher?' Angel asked.

'Not a very good one, either,' Homer said.

'Herb Fowler has never known shit about anything,' Wally said.

The thought of what Mr. Hood might not know gave Homer Wells the shivers.

'She's not going anywhere near Mister Hood,' Homer said. 'You'll have to take her to Saint Cloud's,' he told Angel.

'But I don't think she wants to have the baby,' Angel said. 'And if she had it, I don't think she'd want to leave it in the orphanage.'

'Angel,' Homer said, 'she doesn't have to have a baby in Saint Cloud's. She can have an abortion there.'

Wally moved the wheelchair back and forth.

Candy said: 'I had an abortion there, once, Angel.'

'You did?' Angel said.

'At the time,' Wally told the boy, 'we thought we'd always be able to have another baby.'

'It was before Wally was hurt-before the war,' Candy began.

'Doctor Larch does it?' Angel asked his father.

'Right,' said Homer Wells. He was thinking that he should put Angel and Rose Rose on a train to St. Cloud's as soon as possible; with all the 'evidence' that had been submitted to the board of trustees, Homer didn't know how much more time Dr. Larch would have to practise.

'I'll call Doctor Larch right now,' Homer said. 'We'll put you and Rose Rose on the next train.'

'Or I could drive them in the Cadillac,' Wally said.

'It's too far for you to drive, Wally,' Homer told him.

'Baby Rose can stay here, with me,' Candy said.

They decided that it would be best if Candy went to the cider house and brought Rose Rose and her baby back to the house. Mr. Rose might give Rose Rose an argument if Angel showed up at night, wanting Rose Rose and the baby to go off with him. {685}

'He won't argue with me,' Candy said. 'I'll just say I've found a lot of old baby clothes, and that Rose Rose and I are going to dress up the baby in everything that fits her.'

'At night?' Wally said. 'For Christ's sake, Mister Rose isn't a fool.'

'I don't care if he believes me,' Candy said. 'I just want to get the girl and her baby out of there.'

'Is there that much of a rush?' Wally asked.

'Yes, I'm afraid there is,' said Homer Wells. He had not told Candy or Wally about Dr. Larch's desire to replace himself, or what revelations and fictions had been delivered to the board. An orphan learns to keep things to himself; an orphan holds things in. What comes out of orphans comes out of them slowly.

When Homer called St. Cloud's, he got Nurse Caroline; in their shock, in their grief, in their mourning for Dr. Larch, they had determined that Nurse Caroline had the sturdiest voice over the phone. And they had all been trying to familiarize themselves with Dr. Larch's plans, for everything, and with his massive A Brief History of St. Cloud's as well. Every time the phone rang, they assumed it was someone from the board of trustees.

'Caroline?' said Homer Wells. 'It's Homer. Let me speak with the old man.'

Nurse Angela and Nurse Edna, and even Mrs. Grogan, would love Homer Wells forever-in spite of his note of denial-but Nurse Caroline was younger than any of them; she did not feel the abiding sweetness for Homer Wells that comes from knowing someone when he's a baby. She felt he had betrayed Larch. And, of course, it was a bad time for him to ask for 'the old man.' When Larch had died, Nurse Angela and Nurse Edna and Mrs. Grogan had said they were not up to calling Homer; Nurse Caroline hadn't wanted to call him.

'What do you want?' Nurse Caroline asked him coldly. 'Or have you changed your mind?'

'There's a friend of my son's,' said Homer Wells. 'She's one of the migrants here. She's already got a baby who's {686} got no father, and now she's going to have another.'

'Then she'll have two,' Nurse Caroline informed him.

'Caroline!' said Homer Wells. 'Cut the shit. I want to talk to the old man.'

'I'd like to talk to him, too,' Nurse Caroline told him, her voice rising. 'Larch is dead, Homer,' she said more quietly.

'Cut the shit,' said Homer Wells; he felt his heart dancing.

'Too much ether,' she said. There's no more Lord's work in Saint Cloud's. If you know someone who needs it, you'll have to do it yourself.'

Then she hung up on him-she really slammed the phone down. His ear rang; he heard the sound of the logs bashing together in the water that swept the Winkles away. His eyes had not stung so sharply since that night in the Drapers' furnace room, in Waterville, when he had dressed himself for his getaway. His throat had not ached so deeply-the pain pushing down, into his lungs-since that night he had yelled across the river, trying to make the Maine woods repeat the name of Fuzzy Stone.