Kate Furnivall - The Concubine's Secret

‘So you betrayed me to protect your Cossack. Does he know?’

Colour rose to Elena’s plump cheeks and she gripped both hands together on top of her head, flattening her shapeless hair. ‘No,’ she muttered. ‘Are you going to tell him?’

‘No.’

The woman nodded, shrugged her heavy shoulders and walked over to the window where she stood looking out. In a thick voice she added, ‘What you did for your father was wonderful.’

Lydia let her face drop into her hands. ‘He still died. I could-n’t save him.’

‘Maybe. But he knew what you did for him.’

‘I couldn’t save my mother either,’ she whispered through her fingers.

‘I know. You aren’t any better than I am at keeping your loved ones safe.’ She added, ‘Come over here.’

Lydia eased herself carefully off the thin mattress and joined Elena at the window. She was surprised to find it was snowing outside, not heavily, just a feathery dusting of flakes that drifted through the air and made the world look gentle. They stood in silence, side by side, watching the men in the courtyard below. Chang and Alexei were standing stiffly together, talking quietly, and she wondered what they were discussing. The fire? The weather? The latest church to be blown up on Stalin’s orders? Maybe her? They had their backs to the window so she couldn’t see their faces, but her eyes lingered on the firm line of Chang’s shoulders and on the tension in his long limbs. A young woman from one of the apartments was breaking ice from the courtyard water pump and stopped for a moment, a smile on her face, to watch the antics of Misty.

Popkov had tied a length of string around the dog’s neck and was teaching her to walk at Edik’s heel. Lydia hadn’t realised before how good he was with dogs, but neither had she realised how tired he looked. She felt a rush of tenderness for the big man who had brought her father so close to freedom, only to have him snatched away at the final moment. Oh Liev, my friend, I’m sorry if I asked too much. Even from here I can see it has taken something out of you.

A slow sigh escaped from the woman at her side, misting the glass and blurring the picture of the boy and his dog.

‘He’s asked me to go to live in the Ukraine with him.’

Lydia ’s eyes darted to Elena’s face. ‘The Ukraine?’

‘Somewhere near Kiev. It’s where he grew up as a boy.’

‘Was Liev ever a boy?’

Elena smiled for a fleeting moment. ‘It’s hard to imagine.’

‘Are you going?’

Elena watched Popkov, the way he leaned over the tiny puppy and spoke gently to it. ‘He’s worried about you.’

‘He needn’t be.’

‘I know.’

‘Do you love him?’

‘Hah! By the time you reach my age and have known more men than hot dinners, love is no longer what you think it is, Lydia.’

‘But do you love him?’ Lydia persisted.

There was a pause and Lydia wiped the window with her hand. The Ukraine. Oh Liev, half a world away.

‘Yes,’ Elena admitted at last. ‘I suppose I love the dumb oaf.’

They both smiled.

‘Then go to the Ukraine. I won’t breathe a word about…’ She let it trail off.

‘And you? Where will you go?’

The question tightened Lydia ’s throat so sharply she started coughing, tasting smoke in her mouth.

‘You’ll tear your stitches. Get back to bed.’

Elena helped her stumble back to the mattress but Lydia grasped the fleshy arm that supported her and wouldn’t let it go. She pulled the woman close. ‘Elena,’ she said fiercely, ‘if you hurt him I’ll come and I’ll find you, and I’ll rip your heart out.’

Their eyes held, the tawny ones fixed on the pale ones, and Elena nodded. She didn’t smile this time.

‘You have my permission to do so,’ she said.

Lydia released her grip but saw something in the woman’s expression, some anxiety that made her ask, ‘What is it, Elena?’

There was no response. Lydia ’s pulse thumped. The broad face was shuttered now.

‘Tell me, Elena.’

‘Oh fuck, why am I telling you this? You’ve got to get out of here, girl. Sick or not.’

‘Why?’

‘Because they’re coming for you today.’

‘Who?’

But she didn’t need to ask. Already she was throwing off the quilt, swinging her legs to the floor, mind and pulse racing.

‘Who?’ Elena echoed. ‘Those bastards from OGPU, of course. The secret police.’

Lydia rested her head on Chang An Lo’s shoulder and concentrated on forcing her legs to function. He was tracking back and forth across the city, his arm tight around her waist, keeping her on her feet until he was certain no watchful shadows were padding behind them in the snow.

When finally he brought her to their secret hideaway, the one which had replaced the crucifix room, she stumbled through the door and released her grip on him for the first time. She took a slow, deep breath to keep the pain in her side at bay and pulled off her hat, but when she glanced in the mirror on the wall and saw her hair for the first time since the fire, she blushed lobster-red. It was appalling. One whole chunk was burned away and the rest was shrivelled and charred. With the blisters on her forehead, she looked like a badly made scarecrow.

‘Cut it.’

‘Rest first,’ Chang had urged. ‘You’re exhausted.’

‘Please, cut it. Short as a boy’s. Get rid of the… damage.’

His black eyes had looked at her reflection for no more than a moment, but she realised in that flicker of time that he’d seen all the damage right down into the heart of her. He’d seen the void and the guilt and the fear, and she felt ashamed. Lightly he kissed the side of her singed hair, pulled the sharp knife from his boot and sliced off the first handful.

‘Better?’ he asked.

She nodded. ‘It’s only hair. It’s not my limbs.’

But as he continued to cut and the locks of hair fluttered to the floor like dead leaves, Chang’s mouth curved down in a half moon of sorrow. He bent and gathered the charred copper curls and cradled them in his hands like a gift of flames for his gods. A memory of her mother hacking off her own long dark waves with a pair of blunt kitchen scissors stamped into Lydia ’s mind, and for the first time she understood. That terrible need to punish oneself. The sense of relief it brought, that same relief she’d seen on Antonina’s face the first day they met in the hotel bathroom.

‘Chang An Lo,’ she whispered as she swung round to face him, ‘tell me where you hurt.’

His pupils widened as thoughts seemed to ripple through him, creating purple flecks in his eyes. ‘My shoulders.’

That wasn’t what she meant and he knew it. ‘Show me.’

He settled the flock of curls carefully on a chair and removed his padded jacket. It had brown holes scorched into it and his tunic underneath was no better. He stripped it off and turned his naked back to her.

‘That’s colourful,’ she said. Her hand covered her mouth to seal in all other sounds that were battering to get out.

‘Are you any good with ointment?’ he asked.

‘I’m an expert. Fingers light as feathers. Don’t you remember? ’

He twisted round. ‘Yes, I remember. As if I could forget.’

‘In the garden shed in Junchow when you were wounded and-’

He swung her up in his arms and laid her on the bed. ‘Hush, my love, don’t hide back in the past again.’

With infinite gentleness he removed all her clothes, just leaving the bandage round her waist where the bullet had entered her side. But despite Elena’s stitches it was stained the colours of rotting fruit, reds and browns and oranges. He kissed the soft skin of her stomach, then wrapped her in the quilt.