Tatsuhiko Takimoto - Welcome to the NHK!

I wore the black suit I had bought when I entered college so that I would look like a prize recruit. I pulled a tulip-pink hat down low over my eyes and donned dark purple sunglasses. Even I thought I looked ridiculous.

For his part, Yamazaki wore platform shoes to make himself about four inches taller, put green contacts in his eyes—and on top of all that, bleached his hair gold. I had no idea why he even owned such an idiotic thing as platform shoes. Still, it was the perfect disguise.

Yet, I remained a bit anxious. I was afraid that our voices might expose our true identities. “What do you think, Yamazaki? There’s no way we can change our voices, is there?”

When I expressed my worry on this point, Yamazaki dragged me into the department store near the station, and we headed toward the fourth-floor toy store. At the party goods section, he picked up some helium gas. It had been popular a while ago because if you inhaled it, your voice would sound like a duck.

“Ah! You’re smart!” I thumped Yamazaki on the back.

He stuck out his thumb and grinned. He was having a great time.

In this way, we completed all our preparations and triumphantly headed toward the Imperial Hall, which was located at the edge of the shopping center near the station. People passing us—clearly a shady pair, squeaking in high “duck” voices—threw perplexed glances in our direction. Normally, we would have been intimidated by their stares; but only for today, we weren’t scared of other people. My dark glasses blocked the glances, and I had a friend in Yamazaki, who bravely walked beside me.

More than anything else, the “energy-giving drug” I had bought through the mail was working quite well. Only half a day earlier, I had been suffering from anxieties I couldn’t imagine escaping—but now, I was suffused with energy. Apparently, just a few milligrams of generic drugs could drastically change people’s emotions.

“Is this it?” Yamazaki asked in his duck voice once we had exited the narrow alley that ran next to the tracks, pointing at a four-story building next to a convenience store.

I checked the map the solicitor had drawn for me. The information board at the building’s entrance also announced, “Third Floor, Imperial Hall.” There was no mistake; this was it. It was great that we had arrived at our destination, but I felt unexpectedly let down.

Contrary to its powerful-sounding name, the Imperial Hall was a rather worn-out old building that rented out office space to small businesses. The first floor was a real estate company and the second floor housed a tax attorney's office, leaving only the third floor to be occupied by the religious group. Colored red by the sunset, the rental space looked even more faded. I had imagined a huge temple decorated in gold leaf and the like, so I was taken by surprise.

Still, it was about time to start our infiltration. “L-let’s go, Yamazaki.”

“Yeah, let’s, Satou.”

Fortifying our will, we climbed the narrow stairs of the building.

In the end, our infiltration of the hall succeeded easily.

No one we passed even obliquely mentioned our strange disguises. Although I had told yet another gigantic lie: “Actually, my eyes are so bad, I need my sunglasses.” I said this despite not having been asked. And everyone said, “Oh my, how terrible”, and took pity on me.

That’s right: They were actually good people.

“Good evening.”

“Welcome.”

“Thank you for coming.”

A housewife, a female middle school student, and a businessman greeted us with invigorating smiles on their faces. Bowing our heads to them, we continued up the narrow stairs and stepped into the meeting hall. And once again, we tasted disappointment.

The interior of the hall lacked any religious atmosphere. Adornments such as candles, crosses, and altars were nowhere to be found. Instead, inside the room, a podium like those found in school auditoriums occupied center stage, faced by rows of evenly spaced metal folding chairs. The room could accommodate about one hundred people. The floor and walls were painted uniformly in a soft cream color, and the fluorescent lighting was bright. This relaxed space, the meeting room, basically resembled a normal town hall.

For now, we sat in folding chairs at the very back, hunching down to make ourselves as invisible as possible. However, that attempt soon failed miserably. Yamazaki and I were surrounded by hospitable, smiling people—young and old, male and female. It looked as though the young solicitor we’d seen the previous day had told everyone to expect visitors beforehand.

“I hear you’re interested in the Bible”, said a housewife with a child in her arms. “After all, faith is an issue that everyone has to face.”

A young man about my age said, “Please, take your rime and watch.”

A high-school-aged girl said—

They were all speaking to us at the same time.

Returning their greetings in my duck voice, I felt increasingly anxious. This is bad. At this rate, we’ll stand out. Or rather, we’re already standing out plenty, Misaki doesn’t seem to have arrived yet; the way it’s going, though, it’s only a matter of time before she sees through our disguises.

For the moment, we decided to retreat temporarily. Asking the housewife where the bathroom was, we hurried from the meeting hall.

“This is no good, Satou.”

“It’s bad, isn’t it, Yamazaki?”

We caught our breath while relieving ourselves in the sparkling clean bathroom.

“Why are those people being so friendly to shady people like us?”

“I’m kind of moved.” I was somewhat surprised by myself. This was the first time in my long life that I had ever experienced anything like this. A large number of people had openly welcomed me with smiles on their faces. I had no idea how to deal with it.

“Ha ha ha, maybe I should convert!”

I heard Yamazaki, who had gone into the private stall, suddenly burst into laughter. Next came the sound of toilet paper unrolling. I heard him blow his nose, and then he came out of the stall. The pupils of his eyes had dilated behind his colored contacts. White powder stuck to his sleeves.

“How about you, Satou?” Yamazaki held out a plastic packet filled with the drug. I gently refused. As my espionage activities were about to begin, I couldn’t afford to lose my level-headed judgment.

Putting tissues inside my mouth, I changed the contours of my face, creating an even more perfect disguise. Yamazaki, an off-the-chart smile plastered across his face, meanwhile busied himself walking in circles around the bathroom.

A short time later, we heard a choral hymn coming from beyond the bathroom walls. The assembly seemed to have begun.

Casually, we headed toward the meeting hall.

As I mentioned, the meeting hall’s interior lacked any sort of religious atmosphere at all. It looked like a youth training center. Even so…

Why had I gotten goose bumps up and down my spine? I was moved. It might have been a side effect of the drugs I’d taken before leaving the apartment. My emotional amplification might have been nothing more than a side effect. But…

Almost one hundred people had gathered in this hall, and they were singing without hesitation, with remarkable spirit. Older men, older women, young men, young women—they had turned in unison to face the lectern and single-mindedly sang a hymn praising God. Here, I could certainly feel holiness. Oh, this is true religion! This is wonderful!

Anyway, wrapped up in the hymn, I moved quickly along the wall of the meeting hall and arrived back at a seat along the very edge. When the hymn ended, a middle-aged man standing at the podium began to pray. He seemed to be the most important person there.