Malena Lott - Dating da Vinci

“Ugh. This is why I can't date Michael. She calls him nearly every day, and it's not always about Zoe, although she had a mouthful to say about your little stunt at the pageant.”

“Well, Zoe gets to play soccer now, so it was worth it.”

“Michael thinks she'll flip out when she hears we're dating, and I stopped him and said, 'Excuse me? We're dating? Because I thought we were just sleeping together.'”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. So he goes, 'Fine, then I'll return the tickets to the Bahamas I ordered on Priceline.com today.'”

“You can't resist a guy who knows how to find a good deal.”

“Or a beach far, far away from my grandmotherhood.”

“Where is Vi tonight?”

“With her mother.”

“On a Saturday night?”

“Don't even get me started.”

“Fine. I'd rather hear more about you and Michael. And I'd love to see you and my sis in a bitch-slap contest.”

“Funny. I don't know who she'd hate worse: me for screwing her ex or you for kissing her current.”

“He's dumping her.”

“Time will tell.”

“No, he wants to buy Mrs. Thompson's house. Probably already made the offer.”

“The duck house?”

“He's into home improvement.”

“Thrifty with his money, too, huh?”

“If he didn't break up with Rachel, his downsizing alone would cause her to break up with him.”

“Crap,” she said. “No offense to you, but I wish things would've worked out with her and Cortland just so she'd have a diversion.”

“Her diversion is her career. Besides, maybe she'll hook up with Leonardo DiCaprio tonight.”

“Her head wouldn't fit on the plane. So does this mean that my widowy friend now has two guys in her life?”

“I can feel da Vinci slipping from my grasp. He says he loves me, but I think he's just scared to let go. I've been his lifeline in America up to now, and maybe he's been mine, getting back out there again, but being with him isn't the same as being with an American or someone my own age. He's as lost as I am.”

“We all need something or someone to hold onto.”

“This coming from someone who swore she'd never love again.”

“I'm not loving again. I'm liking. And I can like going to the Bahamas, too.”

“Well, maybe you should start being a little nicer to him, then. Just because he's a lawyer doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.”

“Nice? What am I, a putz? Maybe I'll just call and see if he needs some company later.” Anh grabbed up the phone.

“Oh, my God, you're making a booty call and you've only had two drinks.”

“Am not,” she said. “Besides, your booty call is on autopilot. Some of us have to work at it.”

“Whatever.” I poured myself another Flirtini, swearing it would be my last and thankful the boys were staying at Judith's. The doorbell rang. I wondered if da Vinci had changed his mind about the party and wanted to make our own instead. I slunk over to the door and nearly dropped my martini glass when I saw who was staring back at me, as handsome as the photos in his yearbook-older certainly, but distinguished and still All-American.

“Jonathon.” I said, trying to shake off the effect of my three drinks. Perhaps he was a mirage.

He wore a jogging suit, and sweat was trickling down his hairline, but he was still gorgeous, perspiration or not. “Ramona? I'm sorry to drop in like this, but I was out jogging and…”

“Not exactly on your jogging path.” His and Cortland's neighborhood was at least five miles from mine.

“Monica told me you two were going to meet.”

“She did?”

“She's still sick at home, but…”

“Yes, come in, of course.” I stepped back to let him pass, as Anh made her way into the foyer. Her mouth dropped open.

“Anh, this is Jonathon. Jonathon Blevins.”

She tossed her hair back, a classic flirtation, brought on by his looks and the aptly named drink. “Can I get you a Flirtini?”

“A what?”

Anh and I giggled. How girlish. Men like Jonathon probably didn't drink Flirtinis. “It's good I promise. And we won't tell anyone you drank one.”

Jonathon removed his jacket, revealing a Nike shirt clinging to his ripped stomach and biceps even bigger than da Vinci's. “Sure,” he said. “After I drink a bucket of water.”

We stared at him before Anh broke into a surprised smile. “Not sure about the bucket, but I think we're good on the tall glass.”

“Can I get you a T-shirt? I have some of Joel's packed away in the closet. At least Joel liked to wear them big.”

Jonathon flinched at the sound of his friend's name. “That'd be great.”

An hour later, Jonathon was drunk on Flirtinis and Anh excused herself. “I have a thing I have to do.”

“His name is Michael,” I said with a laugh.

She playfully slapped me. “Jonathon, it was nice to meet you. I think you and my friend Michael would love to talk shop. I'll call you.”

Jonathon kissed her on the cheek, and Anh blushed. Now I got it: I'd thought Monica was a heartless bitch for breaking Joel's heart, but being around Jonathon, even after just an hour, I could see why she was torn between the two for more than a decade. He was everything Joel wasn't and vice versa. I got what Monica meant about the two of them together being the perfect man. Still. It didn't make what she did any less awful. Same goes for Jonathon.

“Nothing helps,” Jonathon said, wrapping his large hands around the comparatively small glass. “I've gone to every type of counseling. Marriage counseling, grief counseling. I can't get over losing Joel. Not once. But twice.”

“So why did you do it?”

His eyebrows rose. “I was in love. If you look up ‘fool in love‘ in the dictionary, there I am. I was crazy about Monica, since we were ten years old. But Joel was the smart one, the funny one, and he won her heart. It was only after Monica would do something stupid, like flirt with another boy in school, or start nitpicking him, that he'd break up with her and she'd come crying to me.”

“But why would he break up with her if he loved her?”

“Well, it got to be a pattern with them. Plus this ping-pong relationship started when we were thirteen, and I guess in some ways, they never really matured beyond that. Monica drove him crazy. She was so beautiful, and all she'd have to say to get his attention was that another man flirted with her. In high school, all the college guys were after her, and in college, all the graduates were after her, and it was all too much for him sometimes. He felt like he'd never be enough for her.”

“But you were there waiting in the wings?”

“I can't really explain it. It wasn't a malicious thing. I really was there as a shoulder to cry on, but when you're sixteen and hormones are raging, things just get out of hand. And I knew they weren't meant to be together. They fought all the time. Monica can be hard to handle.”

“But you know how to handle her?”

Jonathon crossed his arms, his biceps bulging against his chest. “We're equals. She couldn't throw it in my face that she could have any guy she wanted, because I was that guy. And she knows I could say the same.”

“She told me you had a reputation.”

“I didn't go through so many women to be a dick. I did it looking for someone I could love as much as I loved Monica. But I never found her.”

“So she told Joel about you against your will?”

“No. I threatened to tell Joel if she didn't first. I couldn't stand the thought of them getting married without him knowing that we'd been together before, even though it was over.”

“But would it have been? Truly over?”

Jonathon shook his head. “She says so, but I knew better. I knew that I would be friends with Joel until I died. I would've married someone I loved just less than Monica, someone to keep me from being lonely, to have children with, and we'd be together every week, our families. At birthday parties and summer vacations. And Monica would be there in her teeny bikini taunting me, this terrible secret between us. And she and Joel would continue to fight and I wouldn't be able to say no to her. It would've been a miserable life.”