Colleen McCullough - 1. First Man in Rome

And so, the unhappy business is finally wearing itself down. I wish I could say that Julilla has learned a lesson, but I very much doubt it. In later years, Gaius Marius, you too will face all the torments and dilemmas of parenthood, and I wish I could offer you the comfort of saying that you will learn by my mistakes. But you will not. For just as each and every child born into this world is different, and must be handled differently, so too is every parent different. Where did we go wrong with Julilla? I do not honestly know. I do not even know if we went wrong at all. Perhaps the flaw is innate, intrinsic. I am bitterly hurt, and so too is poor Marcia, as best evidenced by her subsequent rejection of all Julilla's overtures of friendship and regret. The child suffers terribly, but I have had to ask myself whether we owe it to her to maintain our distance for the present, and I have decided we must do so. Love we have always given her, an opportunity to discipline herself we have not. If she is to gain any good out of all this, she must suffer. Justice forced me to seek out our neighbor Lucius Cornelius Sulla, and tender him a collective apology which will have to do until Julilla's looks have improved and she can apologize to him in person. Though he didn't want to hand them over, I insisted that he return all of Julilla's letters one of the few times being paterfamilias has had real value. I made Julilla burn them, but not until she had read every one of the silly things out to me and her mother. How awful, to have to be so hard upon one's own flesh and blood! But I very much fear that only the most personally galling of lessons will sink into Julilla's self-centered little heart. There. Enough of Julilla and her schemes. Far more important things are happening. I may actually turn out to be the first to send this news to Africa Province, as I have a firm promise that this will go on a fast packet leaving Puteoli tomorrow. Marcus Junius Silanus has been shockingly defeated by the Germans. Over thirty thousand men are dead, the rest so demoralized and poorly led that they have scattered in all directions. Not that Silanus seems to care, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he seems to value his own survival ahead of his troops'. He brought the news to Rome himself, but in such a toned-down version that he stole a march on public indignation, and by the time that all the truth was known, he had stripped the disaster of much of its shock value. Of course what he's aiming for is to wriggle out of treason charges, and I think he'll succeed. If the Mamilian Commission were empowered to try him, a conviction might be possible. But a trial in the Centuriate Assembly, with all those antiquated rules and regulations, and so many jurors? It's not worth the effort of initiating proceedings, and so most of us feel. And, I hear you ask, what of the Germans? Are they even now pouring down toward the coast of the Middle Sea, are the inhabitants of Massilia packing up in panic? No. For would you believe it, having annihilated Silanus's army, they promptly turned around again and went north. How can one deal with an enemy so enigmatic, so utterly unpredictable? I tell you, Gaius Marius, we shiver in our boots. For they will come. Later rather than sooner, it now seems, they will come. And we have no better commanders to oppose them than the likes of Marcus Junius Silanus. As usual these days, the Italian Allied legions took the brunt of the losses, though many Roman soldiers fell too. And the Senate is having to deal with a stream of complaints from the Marsi and the Samnites, and a host of other Italian nations. But to finish on a lighter note, we are currently having a hilarious battle with our esteemed censor Marcus Aemilius Scaurus. The other censor, Marcus Livius Drusus, died very suddenly three weeks ago, which brought the lustrum of the censors to an abrupt end. Scaurus of course is obliged to stand down. Only he won't! And therein lies the hilarity. As soon as the funeral of Drusus was over, the Senate convened and directed Scaurus to lay aside his censorial duties so that the lustrum could be officially closed in the customary ceremony. Scaurus refused. "I was elected censor, I'm in the middle of letting contracts for my building programs, and I cannot possibly abandon my work at this juncture," he said. "Marcus Aemilius, Marcus Aemilius, it isn't up to you!" said Metellus Dalmaticus Pontifex Maximus. "The law says that when one censor dies in office, the lustrum is at an end, and his fellow censor must resign immediately." "I don't care what the law says!" Scaurus replied. "I cannot resign immediately, and I will not resign immediately." They begged and they pleaded, they shouted and they argued, all to no avail. Scaurus was determined to create a precedent by flouting convention and remaining censor. So they begged and they pleaded, they shouted and they argued all over again. Until Scaurus lost patience and temper. "I piss on the lot of you!" he cried, and went right on with his contracts and his plans. So Dalmaticus Pontifex Maximus called another meeting of the Senate, and forced it to pass a formal consultum calling for Scaurus's immediate resignation. Off went a deputation to the Campus Martius, and there interviewed Scaurus as he sat on the podium of the temple of Jupiter Stator, which edifice he had chosen for his office because it's right next door to the Porticus Metelli, where most of the building contractors have their headquarters. Now as you know, I am not a Scaurus man. He's as crafty as Ulysses and as big a liar as Paris. But oh, I do wish you could have seen him make mincemeat out of them! How such an ugly, skinny, undersized specimen as Scaurus can do it, I do not know he hasn't even got a hair left on his head! Marcia says it's his beautiful green eyes and his even more beautiful speaking voice and his wonderful sense of humor. Well, I will admit the sense of humor, but the charms of his ocular and vocal apparatus escape me. Marcia says I'm a typical man, though what her point about that is, I do not know. Women tend to seek refuge in such remarks when pinned down to logic, I have found. But there must also be some obscure logic to his success, and who knows? Perhaps Marcia has the right of it. So there he sat, the little poseur, surrounded by all the utter magnificence of Rome's first marble temple, and those glorious statues of Alexander the Great's generals all mounted on horseback that Metellus Macedonicus pillaged from Alexander's old capital of Pella. Dominating the lot. How can that be possible, a hairless Roman runt outclassing Lysippus's quite superbly lifelike horses? I swear every time I see Alexander's generals, I expect them to step down from their plinths and ride away, each horse as different as Ptolemy is from Parmenion. I digress. Back to business, then. When Scaurus saw the deputation he shoved contracts and contractors aside and sat spear-straight on his curule chair, toga perfectly draped, one foot extended in the classic pose. "Well?" he asked, addressing his question to Dalmaticus Pontifex Maximus, who had been appointed the spokesman. "Marcus Aemilius, the Senate has formally passed a consultum commanding that you resign your censorship at once," said this unhappy man. "I won't do it," said Scaurus. "You must!" bleated Dalmaticus. "I mustn't anything!" said Scaurus, and turned his shoulder on them, beckoning the contractors to draw close again. "Now what was I saying before I was so rudely interrupted?" he asked. Dalmaticus tried again. "Marcus Aemilius, please!" But all he got for his pontificial pains was an "I piss on you! Piss, piss, piss!" The Senate having shot its bolt, the whole problem was referred to the Plebeian Assembly, thereby making the Plebs responsible for a matter it hadn't created, considering that it is the Centuriate Assembly, a more exclusive body by far than the Plebeian Assembly, that elects the censors. However, the Plebs did hold a meeting to discuss Scaurus's stand, and handed its College of Tribunes one last duty for their year in office. They were instructed to remove Marcus Aemilius Scaurus from office as censor, one way or another. So yesterday, the ninth day of December, saw all ten tribunes of the plebs march off to the temple of Jupiter Stator, Gaius Mamilius Limetanus in their lead. "I am directed by the People of Rome, Marcus Aemilius, to depose you from office as censor," said Mamilius. "As the People did not elect me, Gaius Mamilius, the People cannot depose me," said Scaurus, his hairless scone shining in the sun like a polished old winter apple. "Nonetheless, Marcus Aemilius, the People are sovereign, and the People say you must step down," said Mamilius. "I won't step down!" said Scaurus. "In that case, Marcus Aemilius, I am authorized by the People to arrest you and cast you into prison until you formally resign," said Mamilius. "Lay one hand on me, Gaius Mamilius, and you will revert to the soprano voice of your boyhood!" said Scaurus. Whereupon Mamilius turned to the crowd which had naturally gathered to see the spectacle, and cried out to it, "People of Rome, I call you to witness the fact that I hereby interpose my veto against any further censorial activity by Marcus Aemilius Scaurus!" he declared. And that of course was the end of the matter. Scaurus rolled up his contracts and handed everything over to his clerks, had his chair slave fold up his ivory seat, and stood bowing in all directions to the applauding throng, which loves nothing better than a good confrontation between its magistrates, and adores Scaurus wholeheartedly because he has the kind of courage all Romans admire in their magistrates. Then he strolled down the temple steps, gave Perdiccas's roan horse a pat in passing, linked his arm through Mamilius's, and left the field wearing all the laurels.