Colleen McCullough - 5. Caesar

Early in June the Senate met in the Curia Pompeia to discuss the threat of the Parthians, who were expected to invade Syria in the summer. Out of which arose the vexed question of replacement governors for Cicero in Cilicia and Bibulus in Syria. Both men had adherents lobbying remorselessly to make sure that they were not prorogued for a further year, which was a nuisance, as the pool of potential governors was not large (most men took a province after their term as consul or praetor the Ciceros and Bibuluses were rare) and the most important fish in it were all intent upon replacing Caesar, not Cicero and Bibulus. Couch generals shrank from embracing war with the Parthians, whereas Caesar's provinces seemed to be pacified for many years to come. The two Pompeys were in attendance; the statue dominated the curule dais, and the real man dominated the bottom tier on the left-hand side. Looking very strong and rather more happily steely than of yore, Cato sat on the bottom tier of the right-hand side next to Appius Claudius Pulcher, who had emerged from his trial acquitted and promptly been elected censor. The only trouble was that the other censor was Lucius Calpurnius Piso, Caesar's father-in-law, and a man with whom Appius Claudius could not get on. At the moment they were still speaking to each other, mostly because Appius Claudius intended to purge the Senate and, thanks to new legislation his own brother Publius Clodius had introduced while a tribune of the plebs, one censor could not take it upon himself to expel men from the Senate or alter a knight's status in the tribes or Centuries; Clodius had introduced a veto mechanism, and that meant Appius Claudius had to have Lucius Piso's consent to his measures. But the Claudii Marcelli were still very much the center of senatorial opposition to Caesar and all other Popularis figures, so it was Gaius Marcellus Major, the junior consul, who conducted the meeting and held the fasces for June. "We know from Marcus Bibulus's letters that the military situation in Syria is critical," said Marcellus Major to the House. "He has about twenty-seven cohorts of troops all told, and that is ridiculous. Besides which, none of them are good troops, even including the Gabiniani returned from Alexandria. A most invidious situation, for a man to have to command soldiers who murdered his sons. We must send more legions to Syria," "And where are we going to get these legions from?" asked Cato loudly. "Thanks to Caesar's remorseless recruiting another twenty-two cohorts this year Italia and Italian Gaul are bare." "I am aware of that, Marcus Cato," said Marcellus Major stiffly. "Which does not alter the fact that we have to send at least two more legions to Syria." Pompey piped up, winking at Metellus Scipio, sitting opposite him and looking smug; they were getting on splendidly together, thanks to Pompey's willingness to indulge his father-in-law's taste for pornography. "Junior consul, may I make a suggestion?" "Please do, Gnaeus Pompeius." Pompey got to his feet, smirking. "I understand that were any member of this House to propose that we solve our dilemma by ordering Gaius Caesar to give up some of his very many legions, our esteemed tribune of the plebs Gaius Curio would immediately veto the move. However, what I suggest is that we act entirely within the parameters which Gaius Curio has laid down." Cato was smiling, Curio frowning. "If we can act within those parameters, Gnaeus Pompeius, I for one would be immensely pleased," said Marcellus Major. "It's simple," said Pompey brightly. "I suggest that I donate one of my legions to Syria, and that Gaius Caesar donate one of his legions to Syria. Therefore neither of us suffers, and both of us have been deprived of exactly the same proportion of our armies. Isn't that correct, Gaius Curio?" "Yes," said Curio abruptly. "Would you agree not to veto such a motion, Gaius Curio?" "I could not veto such a motion, Gnaeus Pompeius." "Oh, terrific!" cried Pompey, beaming. "Then I hereby serve notice on this House that I will of this day donate one of my own legions to Syria." "Which one, Gnaeus Pompeius?" asked Metellus Scipio, hard put to keep still on his stool, so delighted was he. "My Sixth Legion, Quintus Metellus Scipio," said Pompey. A silence fell which Curio did not break. Well done, you Picentine hog! he said to himself. You've just pared Caesar's army of two legions, and achieved it in a way I can't veto. For the Sixth Legion had been working for Caesar for years; Caesar had borrowed it from Pompey and still possessed it. But it did not belong to him. "An excellent idea!" said Marcellus Major, grinning. "I will see a show of hands. All those willing that Gnaeus Pompeius should donate his Sixth Legion to Syria, please show their hands." Even Curio put his hand up. "And all those willing that Gaius Caesar donate one of his legions to Syria, please show their hands." Curio put up his hand again. "Then I will write to Gaius Caesar in Further Gaul and inform him of this House's decree," said Marcellus Major, satisfied. "And what about a new governor for Syria?" asked Cato. "I think the majority of the Conscript Fathers will agree that we ought to bring Marcus Bibulus home." "I move," said Curio instantly, "that we send Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus to replace Marcus Bibulus in Syria." Ahenobarbus rose to his feet, shaking that bald head dolefully. "I would love to oblige, Gaius Curio," he said, "but unfortunately my health does not permit of my going to Syria." He pushed his chin into his chest and presented the Senate of Rome with the top of his scalp. "The sun is too strong, Conscript Fathers. I would fry my brain." "Wear a hat, Lucius Domitius," said Curio chirpily. "What was good enough for Sulla is surely good enough for you." "But that's the other problem, Gaius Curio," said Ahenobarbus. "I can't wear a hat. I can't even wear a military helmet. The moment I put one on, I suffer a frightful headache." "You are a frightful headache!" snapped Lucius Piso, censor. "And you're an Insubrian barbarian!" snarled Ahenobarbus. "Order! Order!" shouted Marcellus Major. Pompey stood up again. "May I suggest an alternative, Gaius Marcellus?" he asked humbly. "Speak, Gnaeus Pompeius." "Well, there is a pool of praetors available, but I think we all agree that Syria is too perilous to entrust to a man who has not been consul. Therefore, since I agree that we need Marcus Bibulus back in this House, may I propose that we send an ex-consul who has not yet been out of office for the full five years my lex Pompeia stipulates? In time the situation will settle down and problems like this will not crop up, but for the moment I do think we ought to be sensible. If the House is agreeable, we can draft a special law specifying this person for this job." "Oh, get on with it, Pompeius!" said Curio, sighing. "Name your man, do!" "Then I will. I nominate Quintus Caecilius Metellus Pius Scipio Nasica." "Your father-in-law," said Curio. "Nepotism reigns." "Nepotism is honest and just," said Cato. "Nepotism is a curse!" yelled Mark Antony from the back tier. "Order! I will have order!" thundered Marcellus Major. "Marcus Antonius, you are a pedarius, and not authorized to open your mouth!" "Gerrae! Nonsense!" roared Antony. "My father is the best proof I know that nepotism is a curse!" "Marcus Antonius, cease forthwith or I will have you thrown out of this chamber!" "You and who else?" asked Antony scornfully. He squared up, lifted his fists in the classical boxing pose. "Come on, who's willing to try?" "Sit down, Antonius!" said Curio wearily. Antony sat down, grinning. "Metellus Scipio," said Vatia Isauricus, "couldn't fight his way out of a clutch of women." "I nominate Publius Vatinius! I nominate Gaius Trebonius! I nominate Gaius Fabius! I nominate Quintus Cicero! I nominate Lucius Caesar! I nominate Titus Labienus!" howled Mark Antony. Gaius Marcellus Major dismissed the meeting. "You're going to be a shocking demagogue when you're tribune of the plebs," said Curio to Antony as they walked back to the Palatine. "But don't try Gaius Marcellus too far. He's every bit as irascible as the rest of that clan." "The bastards! They've cheated Caesar out of two legions." "And very cleverly. I'll write to him at once."