Nick Hornby - A Long Way Down

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New Year’s Eve at Toppers’ House, North London’s most popular suicide spot. And four strangers are about to discover that doing away with yourself isn’t quite the private act they’d each expected.
Perma-tanned Martin Sharp’s a disgraced breakfast TV presenter who had it all—the family, the pad, the great career—and wasted it away. Killing himself is Martin’s logical response to an unlivable life.
Maureen has to do it tonight, because of Matty being in the home. He was never able to do any of the normal things kids do—like walk or talk—and his loving mum can’t cope any more.
Half-crazed with heartbreak, loneliness, adolescent angst, seven Bacardi Breezers and two Special Brews, Jess’s ready to jump, to fly off the roof.
Finally, there’s JJ—tall, cool, American, looks like a rock-star—who’s weighed down with a heap of problems, and pizza.
Four strangers, who moments before were convinced that they were alone and going to end it all that way, share out the pizza and begin to talk… only to find that they have even less in common than first suspected.
Funny, sad and deeply moving, Nick Hornby’s
is a novel that asks some of the big questions: about life and death, strangers and friendship, love and pain, and whether a group of losers, and pizza, can really see you through a long, dark night of the soul.

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Jess made a face, as though she didn’t believe him.

“How come we didn’t think of this before?” said JJ. “On New Year’s Eve? I never thought of my parents once.”

“Because things were worse then, I suppose,” said Martin. “Family’s like, I don’t know. Gravity. Stronger at some times than others.”

“Yup. That’s gravity for you. That’s why in the morning we can like float, and in the evening we can’t hardly lift our feet.”

“Tides, then. You don’t notice the pull when it’s… Well, anyway. You know what I mean.”

“If some guy came up here tonight, what would you tell him?” said JJ.

“I’d tell him about the ninety days,” said Jess. “ “Cos it’s true, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” said JJ. “It’s true that none of us feel like killing ourselves tonight. But like… If he asked us why, if he said to us, So tell me what great things have happened to you since you decided not to go over the edge… what would you tell him?”

I’d tell him about my job in the newsagent’s,” I said. “And the quiz.”

The others looked at their feet. Jess thought about saying something, but JJ caught her eye, and she changed her mind.

“Yeah, well, you, you’re doing OK,” said JJ after a little while. “But I’m f— busking, man. Sorry, Maureen.”

“And I’m failing to help the dimmest child in the world with his reading,” said Martin.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” said Jess. “You’re failing at loads of different things. You’re failing with your kids, and your relationships…”

“Oh, yes, whereas you, Jess… You’re such a f— success. You’ve got it all.”

“Sorry, Maureen,” said JJ.

“Yes, excuse me, Maureen.”

“I didn’t know Nodog ninety days ago,” said Jess.

“Ah, yes,” said Martin. “Nodog. The one unqualified achievement any of us can boast of. Maureen’s quiz team excepted, of course.”

I didn’t remind him about the newsagent’s. I know it’s not much, but it might have seemed as though I was rubbing it in a bit.

“Let’s tell our suicidal friend about Nodog. «Oh, yes. Jess here has met a man who doesn’t believe in names, and thinks we should all kill ourselves all the time.» That’ll cheer him up.”

“That’s not what he thinks. You’re just taking the p—. What did you want to bring all this up for, JJ? We were going to have a good night out, and now everyone’s all f— depressed.”

“Yeah,” said JJ. “I’m sorry. I was just wondering, you know. Why we’re all still here.”

“Thanks,” said Martin. “Thanks for that.”

In the distance we could see the lights on that big wheel down by the river, the London Eye.

“We don’t have to decide right now, anyway, do we?” said JJ.

“Course we don’t,” said Martin.

“So how about we give it another six months? See how we’re doing?”

“Is that thing actually going round?” said Martin. “I can’t tell.” We stared at it for a long time, trying to work it out. Martin was right. It didn’t look as though it was moving, but it must have been.

I suppose.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to:

Tony Lacey, Wendy Carlton, Helen Fraser, Susan Petersen, Joanna Prior, Zelda Turner, Eli Horowitz, Mary Cranitch, Caroline Dawnay, Alex Elam, John Hamilton.

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