Fannie Flagg - Standing in the Rainbow

Rodney suddenly felt sorry for him. He tried to cheer him up. "You know what you need, Hambo? You need to come up to St. Louis with me, play a little poker, we've got some good games up there, and fool around a little. Have some fun for a change, what do you say?"

"Wish I could but I just don't have the time to spare," Hamm said, getting up to leave.

"Well, you know what I always say… if you can't get anywhere in this world, you might as well have fun while you aren't getting there."

After Aunt Elner lost her husband, Will, she had wanted to stay on the farm but Norma was worried about her living out in the country all by herself and insisted she move to town. She wanted her close so she could keep an eye on her and she was not going to rest until she did.

So Aunt Elner sold the farm and Norma and Macky found her a house a couple of blocks from them. It was a small house, with a bedroom, kitchen, living room, and a nice front porch; but the thing Aunt Elner liked right away was the big fig tree in the backyard. She brought a few of her favorite chickens and her cat Sonny and moved in, but Norma still checked on her day and night. Aunt Elner said, "You'd think two blocks was twenty miles the way you carry on. I might as well have stayed out on the farm."

"Yes, but at least I know we can get to you in a few minutes if anything happens."

"Honey, if I die here or out on the farm, getting to me faster is not going to make much difference."

"Maybe not to you but I'll feel better knowing you're not lying around in the yard dead, with the chickens pecking at you."

Aunt Elner laughed. "It would not bother me. I've eaten enough of them in my day." Aunt Elner liked to tease her but promised her she would take good care of herself Even though Elner said and meant it, she was still capable of upsetting Norma from time to time. Just this morning there had been a incident, and Norma was still going on and on about it. "You shouldn't even be climbing stairs at your age, much less a ten-foot ladder. I have never been so close to fainting in my life. I came out into the yard and looked up and there you were just hanging in the top of the tree."

"I wasn't hanging, I was sitting."

"Well, sitting or hanging, what if I had not come over? You've got to be more careful. What if I'd found you dead on the ground?"

"Oh, Norma, I've picked fruit all my life and I'm not dead yet. Besides, it's that Griggs dog's fault. He's the one that knocked the ladder down chasing after poor Sonny. Go fuss at him."

"I don't care whose fault it was, promise me you will not get on that ladder again. Let Macky do it or call next door and get Merle."

"All right."

"You are not as young as you used to be, you know."

Later that night, Aunt Elner called. "Norma, let me ask you this."

"What?"

"Who is younger than they used to be? I don't know anybody; even those that get face-lifts are still just as old as they were. Even if you went into a different time zone you'd still be the same age, wouldn't you?"

Norma had to admit she was right but added, "That's not the point; the point is you need to be more careful."

"The point is that Griggs dog ought to stay out of my yard and quit chasing my cat."

"Aunt Elner."

"I know, a promise is a promise."

But a new day is a new day. The next morning around ten, when Linda was at school, the phone rang. Norma picked up.

"Norma? I have a question for you," said Aunt Elner.

"Hold on, let me turn off my beans."

"What kind of beans are you making?"

"String beans. I just threw in a handful so Macky would have something green with his lunch. Why?"

"I just wondered… What's he getting?"

"Salmon croquettes, sliced tomatoes, corn, and string beans."

"What kind of bread?"

"Cornbread. I had a few slices left over. Why?"

"Just wondered."

"Did you have a question for me?"

"Yes, I did."

"What was it?"

"Wait a minute… let me think."

"What was it about?"

"I know. Norma, do I have any insurance?"

"What kind of insurance?"

"Any kind."

"Uncle Will had his Mason's policy, I think. Why?"

"Well, some lady came to the door and wanted to know and I didn't know what to tell her so I told her she'd have to ask you."

"What woman?"

"Some woman. I don't know who she was… she left her card. Do you want me to go and get it?"

"Yes."

There was a loud clack when Aunt Elner put the phone down on the table. A few minutes later she came back on the line.

"Her name is June Garza. Do you know her?"

"No, what company is she with?"

"Aetna… Insurance… So I told her that my niece and her husband handle all that for me."

"Good, what did she say?"

"She said she wanted to know where you lived so she could ask you about it."

"Good Lord, you didn't tell her, did you?"

"Well, I had to. She asked me."

"How long ago…?"

"Just a little while ago".

"Oh Lord…"

"She's real nice. She has on a green suit and…"

"Aunt Elner, let me call you back."

"Okay… I just wanted you to be on the lookout."

"I'll call you back." Norma put down the phone and ran into the living room and looked up and down the street and shut the front door and closed her blinds and pulled the curtains. She went back to the kitchen and closed those blinds and she hid down under the wall phone, reached up, and dialed Macky's number. When he picked up she whispered, "Macky… when you come home, don't come in the front door, come up the alley and come in the back. And knock three times so I'll know it's you."

"What?"

"Aunt Elner gave some insurance woman our address and she's headed over here… and I don't want to have to deal with her."

"You don't have to deal with her just go to the door and tell her you don't need any insurance."

"I'm not going to be rude to her, for God's sake."

"That's not being rude."

"You can't just say no, until you let them go through their sales things. You don't know why that poor woman is having to work… she might have children to support. You might be able to break her heart but I can't."

"Norma, you are not going to break her heart. She's an insurance salesman."

"She's probably married to some alcoholic and… shhh." There was a knock at the front door. "Oh my God, she's here… be quiet!" She pulled the phone into the pantry and hid.

"Norma, just go to the door and tell her thank you very much but we don't need any insurance. If you don't go now, she'll just come back. You don't want to get her hopes up… that's even worse. You have to learn to say no. You don't have to be rude. Go on now, get it over with."

The woman at the door continued to knock. She was not going away.

"Oh, Macky, I could just kill you."

Norma put the phone down, stood there for a moment, screwed her courage to the wall, took a deep breath, and headed for the door.

About forty-five minutes later the bell over the hardware store door rang and a lady of about forty, wearing a green suit and carrying a brown attach^ case walked in. She approached Macky with a pleasant smile. "Mr. Warren?"

Macky said, "Yes, ma'am, what can I do for you?"

"Mr. Warren, I'm June Garza from Aetna Insurance and your wife said that you might be interested in hearing about our new three-an done policy… and I wondered if now might be a convenient time?" The phone rang. "I can come back after lunch if you like…"

Macky was caught. "Uh, well… excuse me, Mrs. Garza… let me get that." He picked up the phone. Norma was on the other end.

"Macky, is she there yet?"

Macky smiled back at Mrs. Garza. "That's right."

"Now, before you get mad at me, I just wanted you to know her husband is a diabetic and lost his left leg and is probably going to lose the other one somewhere down the line."