Fannie Flagg - Standing in the Rainbow

Even that was no small task. The bull-necked owner of the bowling alley eyed Tot suspiciously. "And just how do I know this is your ring, lady?" Tot could not believe her ears. Hands on her hips, she looked him right in the face and said, "Well, mister, just how many people do you know that have JAMES AND TOT WOO TEN FOREVER written inside their wedding ring?" Betty Raye knew it was not funny but she broke up at Tot's remark and had to walk away while Tot stood there and went at it toe to toe with the owner. She was not going to leave without her ring, even if she had to wait all night, she said. Finally, he sold her the ball and she left in a huff, as the team trailed behind her, vowing never to bowl again. Nobody dared laugh on the drive back to town but they were all dying to.

When Betty Raye arrived home it was late. Dorothy, who could not really rest well until she knew everyone was in for the night, safe and sound, heard Betty Raye come in, laughing all the way to her bedroom.

They must have won, she thought, and rolled over and went to sleep.

The next day Tot carried the bowling ball over to the hardware store, where Macky tried everything he knew to get the ring out, from every size screwdriver to hammer and pliers, but nothing would work. Finally he said, "Mrs. Whooten, I don't know what to tell you but this sucker's stuck for good."

She said, "Thank you anyway, Macky," and took her ball and went home.

True to her word, that ended the short but eventful career of Tot the Terrible, the left-handed bowler from hell. "Wouldn't you know it," she said later, "the only sport I was ever good at." But not only was her career as a bowler over, she lost almost two weeks of work.

"You cannot do pin curls with a sprained finger," she said.

When Bobby called the drugstore, Bertha Ann answered the phone with "Rexall." Bobby said in a voice he thought sounded like a man's, "Do you have Prince Albert smoking tobacco in a can?"

"Yes, we do," she said.

"Well, you better let him out before he suffocates."

Bertha Ann heard Monroe laughing in the background before Bobby hung up.

They were clearly bored. Other than he and Monroe getting caught in his father's den going through his National Geographic magazines looking for pictures of native women with their tops off, and having three cavities filled by Dr. Orr, the summer was turning out to be uneventful. But fate can turn on a dime and fortunes change and one event can alter a child's life forever. Or if not forever, it can certainly change the way he views himself in the world, good or bad. For Bobby that day was here, although to others it might not seem special.

Jimmy got up as usual at 4:30, lit his first cigarette, made the coffee, put on his white shirt and pants and black leather bow tie, and was down at the Trolley Car Diner at 5:00. Jimmy didn't know it yet, but he would be the first one in the Smith household to find out what was happening that day. This morning he went about his business as usual. He had great pride in his diner and kept it spotless. Every morning the black-and white tile floor was scrubbed sparkling clean.

The silver chrome on the counters and on the base of all the round red leather stools was polished and kept as shiny as a new car in a showroom. He gave the doors and the light green cigarette machine on the wall a wipe-down as well. Next he cut the pies chocolate a sky-high lemon-meringue, apple and a marble pound cake in slices and placed them on small white plates and put them in his display case. He chopped onions, put pickles in a small chrome container, and placed a handful of toothpicks with bright red and orange cellophane on the tops in a small thick glass. He then wiped down the grill and removed slices of cheese, plus eggs, bacon, hamburger patties, weenies, tomatoes, and lettuce from the icebox. He fried up a batch of bacon and got his potatoes for hash browns and sliced the tomatoes. Last, he cut open several loaves of Merita white bread and dozens of hamburger and hot dog buns and was ready to open.

Jimmy had learned to cook in the navy and was a short-order cook of the first order. He could fry eggs any way you wanted and make a grilled cheese sandwich to perfection, golden brown, just right with the cheese dripping down the sides of the crust, or make a bacon, lettuce, and tomato so good you wanted another one before you finished the first. At exactly one minute to six he put on a clean apron, his white paper hat with the red stripe, and opened the door for business. To his surprise, there stood Bobby.

"Hey. What are you doing downtown so early?"

Bobby said, "Couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd come on down and have a cup of coffee with you. You know, the bubble gum contest is today."

"Oh, that's right. Well, come on in."

Jimmy knew that Dorothy did not let him drink coffee but he figured a little bit wouldn't hurt him. Bobby climbed up on a stool and Jimmy put out a thick white cup and saucer and poured him a half cup. Bobby picked up the container and happily added four teaspoons of sugar.

"So what do you think your chances are, buddy?"

"I don't know. I came pretty close last year."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I think I better not." He added another spoonful of sugar. "You know, the secret is breath control. I learned that the last timeI ran out of breath right at the end or I would have won."

"I see. So what's your plan of attack this year… your strategy?"

Bobby took a sip of his coffee. "I've been practicing every day and trying to build up my breath control, holding my head underwater in the tub. But other than that, I don't know what else to do. I was kind of hoping you might give me some last-minute advice."

"Have you practiced any yet this morning?"

"Not yet. I thought I'd get in a couple of hours before nine."

Jimmy opened a large can of chili and thought carefully before he spoke. "Well, here's my advice. Now, you can take it or leave it, but now, if I were you, I wouldn't practice at all this morning."

"Not at all?"

"I wouldn't. You can pretty much figure that everybody else will, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"So if you walk in nice and rested you have an advantage. See what I mean?"

Bobby's eyes widened. "Yeah… I see!"

"You save up all your energy for the big push when you need it. And when you're up there, concentrate. Remain calm and steady as she goes. Don't look right, don't look left, don't let yourself get rattled, just stay the course, nice and easy all the way."

Bobby listened intently. "Yeah. Don't get rattled… nice and easy."

"What's the prize on this thing?"

"Twenty-five free passes to the theater."

Jimmy was impressed or acted as if he was. "Hey, that's a pretty good deal." Just then two of Jimmy's breakfast regulars came in the door.

"Morning, boys," he said.

Bobby quickly finished his coffee and ran out the door. "Thanks, Jimmy."

"Good luck, buddy."

Bobby ran back home and made a big production of resting, lying in the middle of the living room floor so everybody had to ask him what he was doing lying in the middle of the floor. When Princess Mary Margaret would not stop barking and running around him in a circle, he complained to his mother that it was very important for him to rest and to come and get her. However, she took the dog's side and said, "You get up off that floor. You're upsetting her. She thinks there's something wrong with you!"

At exactly 9:00 A.M." a dozen boys, all at least two inches taller than Bobby, stood in a straight line on the stage of the Elmwood Springs Theater each in various stages of nervous breakdowns. Ward Mclntire, the man from the Bazooka bubble gum company, stood holding a glass bowl filled with gum all wrapped in shiny wax paper, each containing a shiny wax-paper cartoon inside. As he stood there, Bobby kept repeating over and over in his mind, Don't get rattled… don't look right, don't look left, but it was hard. Claudia Albetta was sitting in the front row with two of her girlfriends. Ever since Mr.