Fannie Flagg - Standing in the Rainbow

The bad news: this spectacular event had certainly ended a remarkable political career.

The good news: Hamm Sparks had always wanted to go as high in the world as he could and he had. And as usual, the rest of the men had just been along for the ride. But as it turned out, there was one man who had not been along that night.

Cecil Figgs had failed to show up at the time they were scheduled to leave and they had left without him, which was fine with him. He was having too much fun. He had left the car keys with Rodney, and Cecil figured he could always fly home.

He woke up in New Orleans two days later in a seedy hotel in the French Quarter with a bad hangover. His young companion was gone but had left a note.

Dear Ramon,

Thanks for the good time. Call me the next time you are in town.

Love, Todd

Cecil always used the name Ramon Navarro when he was out of town. When Cecil suddenly realized it was Tuesday and that he had missed taking his mother to the eye doctor the day before, he felt sick with guilt.

He would have to call her right away, but not before he had a cup of coffee. Cecil dressed and walked next door to eat breakfast and figure out what he would say to his mother, who was sure to be upset. Shortly before his first sip of coffee he picked up the Times-Picayune newspaper someone had left on the counter. When he saw the front page he almost fainted.

HAMM SPARKS, FOUR COMPANIONS PRESUMED DEAD

The article underneath the pictures of all five men, including him, said the police believed the missing men had most likely been murdered and as far as they could tell, it looked like the work of professionals. At the moment they were questioning several men in St. Louis with Chicago mob connections.

What little hair Cecil had stood up on the back of his head. He had no idea what had happened. After he got over the initial shock of the whole thing, his first instinct was to run and call his mother. But then he realized that if someone had been out to kill them and found out he was still alive, they might try it again. Desperately, he tried to figure out what to do next. While he sat before his cold coffee in a dilemma, pondering his future and perhaps his impending murder, it struck him like a bolt of lightning. Wait a minute, he thought. In the middle of this seeming tragedy there was another part of it he had just realized. He was, for all intents and purposes, dead, or at least everyone thought he was. For the first time in his life he was free.

Free to be who and what he really was. He would no longer have to lead a double life, always looking over his shoulder, afraid of getting caught; always terrified he might upset his mother or disgrace the family. He'd have to die to do it. It would be a big price to pay but he figured it would be worth it.

In the end, the man Hamm and the boys had taken the meeting with in New Orleans said nothing. He could not afford to have his name involved in any scandal. Mr. Anthony Leo of St. Louis did wonder what had happened to the boat and his missing dynamite but he was certainly in no position to say anything and for years continued to wonder but kept his mouth shut. The man who'd sold Rodney the illegal Cuban rum said nothing and the man who'd sold Cecil the stolen formaldehyde certainly said nothing. And Cecil said nothing.

In fact, there was no Cecil. From that day forward, nobody but himself knew that Miss Anita "Boom Boom" De Thomas, gorgeous headliner at the famous My Oh My Club in New Orleans, Louisiana, was the sole survivor of the late Mr. Cecil Figgs of Missouri. Cecil had been given an opportunity that few people in this world ever get. He had been shown an open door that led to a new life and he had walked through it to the other side and there was no turning back. Mother Figgs and the entire Figgs clan were left a small fortune and the warm memory of a good son and he was going to have a good time the rest of his life. He had only one major and painful regret in leaving Cecil behind. It had just about killed him not to be able to plan the governor's funeral. It would have been the triumph of his career. Oh, well.

Macky could read the handwriting on the wall. Long before he said anything to Norma, he knew he just could not compete as a small hardware store. Three different malls had sprung up, and now with the brand-new Home Improvement Center in one and Wal-Mart and Ace Hardware in the other, he had lost business. Most of his old customers had tried to stay with him but with so many new people moving in and the prices being so low, he was losing them one by one, and as he told his friend Merle, "Hell, I can't blame them, I'd shop out there myself."

Selling out and retiring had been in the back of his mind but he had not had any serious thoughts about it until lately. But events tumbling upon one another had brought him to the moment when he actually sat down and talked with her about the prospects of selling their house.

Pretty soon Macky and Norma started sending off for brochures of retirement communities. From the pictures of the good-looking silver haired men and women standing around having cocktails, playing golf, tennis, and swimming, it looked like fun. "Your home away from home, only better," they said.

As it turned out, the decision was made in less than forty-eight hours and it had nothing to do with anything that was planned. Verbena and Merle called in a fit. They had a nephew who was living in a gated community in Vero Beach and he had just found out that a house was coming up on the market in a few days and he'd called to see if they were interested.

He said that it was one of the best retirement complexes down there and if somebody moved fast, before the realtors found out about it, they could buy it from the owner, a friend of his, and not have to pay the commission.

After Macky got off the phone he told Norma all about it. "But the bad news," he said, "is we have to make up our minds right away. Merle said there are people waiting in line to buy it if we don't."

Norma panicked. "Oh my God… do we have time to call Linda?"

"Yes, honey, go on."

After ten minutes Norma handed the phone to Macky.

"Daddy, what do you think?"

"It's up to your mother, whatever she thinks."

Norma threw up her hands. "You always do this."

"Well, Daddy, it sounds like a good deal to me. If you get there and don't like it, you can always turn around and sell it but it sounds like you have a chance to get a nice place at a good price. I think you would always be sorry if you didn't take advantage of it. Do you know anybody other than Verbena's nephew who lives in Vero Beach? Anybody you could ask?"

"No."

"Let me call around and I'll try and find out something." Twenty minutes later she called back. "Daddy, listen to this: Vero Beach, Florida, Indian River country home, home of famous Dodgertown, USA."

"What's that?"

"Daddy, it's where the L.A. Dodgers have their spring training. You and Mother can go and watch the Dodgers play."

The next afternoon Norma called Linda. "Well, honey, we did it. Your daddy and I have just bought a pig in a poke. He's told the man yes.

I just hope to God we don't get down there and find out we're in the middle of a swamp."

"Great! Aren't you excited?"

"I don't know what to think, it all happened so fast. I just hope your daddy made the right decision."

After they packed up and sold everything, it was time, as Merle had said, to shake the dust off and see some new scenery. When Merle and Verbena had moved to Florida they had flown, but Macky decided to buy a Minnie Winnie and see the country on the way down. He bought a captain's hat and hung a sign on the back that said THE CHUCKLE HEADS and the next day he put Norma, Aunt Elner, and Sonny Number Four in the back and took off. Macky was excited. He had remembered all the little charming, out-of-the-way cafes his family had stopped at the last time he went to Florida, in 1939. But as he soon found out, things had changed. For days all they saw were Burger Kings, Taco Bells, McDonald's, Jack in the Boxes, and Cracker Barrels. Norma said, "Macky, there are no more little places and Aunt Elner and I don't want to get ptomaine poisoning just so you can take a trip down Memory Lane." The one place he did find, Norma refused to go in. "Let's just go to the Cracker Barrel, where we know it's clean and the food is good." The road was not as he remembered either. It was nothing but a blur of huge trucks. There were almost no cars anymore. It seemed like the entire country was nothing but trucks following other trucks.