Robert Pirsig - Lila. An Inquiry Into Morals

That’s what he brought these canvas tote bags for; to carry the food. Maybe if she made him a really good meal he would take her all the way to Florida.

She put on her mascara slowly and carefully and when she was done she walked down the hall and around a corner there was the Captain, waiting. As she walked toward him she could see he looked better now. He was washed and shaved, and he’d changed that shirt.

Outside it had gotten dark. They walked under some street lights along the street up a hill. Some people walked by and didn’t look up.

It didn’t seem like a little town. It seemed more like part of a city. The street wasn’t very wide and was sort of dirty and depressing the way big cities get. When they got into the town she looked in some store windows and saw there wasn’t much to look at.

She thought she smelt French fries. But she didn’t see any McDonalds or Burger King or any place like that around.

Would she ever like some French fries! She was starving!

Maybe they could buy some, she thought. But then the trouble was they’d get all cold by the time they got to the boat. Maybe she could cook some. You needed something to cook them in, though. She asked the Captain if he had a deep fryer. He said he wasn’t sure. She hoped he did.

At the supermarket the prices were high. She got two expensive filet mignons and big Idaho potatoes and oil to make French fries from and some chocolate pudding for dessert and some bread for toast in the morning. And some eggs and some butter and some bacon. And some milk.

As she bent over to pick up the milk a shopping cart bumped into her. Lila said, Oh, I’m sorry. It wasn’t her fault, but the woman, who looked like she worked for the store just gave her a mean look and didn’t excuse herself in any way.

Lila got enough groceries to fill two big bags. She was starving. She liked to buy food anyway. She probably wouldn’t get to eat most of it.

But you could never tell. Maybe she and the Captain would get along tonight. Then they could go shopping in New York. She needed a lot of things.

When she finished filling the shopping cart she went to the checkout counter and saw that the checkout lady there was the same lady who bumped into her. With the same mean look on her face. She reminded Lila of her mother. Lila asked, as nicely as she could, if they could use the shopping cart to take the groceries back to the boat. It would be a lot easier than just carrying those tote bags. But the answer was No.

Lila looked at the Captain but he didn’t say anything. He just paid without any expression.

They each picked up a bag of groceries and started on their way out the door when suddenly there was a loud OW!! and then YOU LET GO OF ME! and then I’LL TELL MY MOTHER!!!

Lila turned and saw the store lady had her hand on a black girl’s collar and the girl was hitting at her and shouting, LET GO! LET GO!! I’LL TELL MY MOTHER!!

I told you to stay OUT of here! the store lady said.

The girl looked like she was about ten or twelve years old.

Let’s go, the Captain said.

But Lila heard herself say, Leave her alone!

Don’t get into it, the Captain said.

I CAN COME IN HERE IF I WANT TO! the girl shouted. You can’t tell me what to do!

LEAVE HER ALONE! Lila said.

The woman looked at her in astonishment. This is OUR STORE! she said.

Jesus Christ, let’s go, the Captain said.

The woman still didn’t let go of the girl.

Lila exploded, Just LEAVE her ALONE or I’ll call the police!

The woman let go of the girl. The girl ran out past Lila and the Captain through the doorway of the store. The store woman glared at her. Then she glared at Lila. But there was nothing she could do now.

It was over. Lila and the Captain went out. Outside the girl looked at her and did a quick little smile, and then skipped away.

What the hell was that all about? the Captain said.

She made me mad.

Everything makes you mad.

I have to do that, Lila said. Now I’ll feel fine all night.

At a liquor store they bought two fifths of blended and two quarts of mix and a bag of ice. They were really loaded down now as they walked back down the narrow street to the little white house where the boat was.

What did you get into that argument for? the Captain asked. It wasn’t any of your business.

People are so mean to kids, Lila said.

I would have thought you might have enough problems of your own, the Captain said.

She didn’t say anything. But it felt good. She always felt better after she lost her temper like that. She didn’t know why but she always did.

As they walked down to the river the Captain didn’t say a word. He was mad. That was all right, she thought. He’d get over it.

At the dock it was so dark the dinghy was hard to see. She had to watch her step. She didn’t want to drop all this food.

The Captain set his bag full of groceries down on the dock and untied the dinghy. Then he told Lila to get in. Then he handed everything to her and then he got in himself. With all the bags between them it was hard for him to row so he took just one oar and paddled on one side and then the other.

As she looked back she could see that the big long bridge was like a shadow, all lit up from behind with the light in the sky from New York. It was so beautiful. She put her hand in the water and it felt warm.

Suddenly she felt really good. She knew they would go to Florida together. It was going to be a good night.

When they reached the dark side of the boat the Captain held the dinghy steady while Lila climbed up the ladder. Then in the dark he handed her the tote bags full of groceries again and she set them on the deck.

Then while he climbed aboard and tied off the dinghy to the boat she carried the bags down below.

She pushed a light switch on the side of what looked like an overhead light and it worked, although it wasn’t very bright. She took the bottles of whiskey and mix out of a tote bag, and stored the extra mix and the ice in the icebox. The rest of the food she took out of the bags so she could get her shower stuff. She got it all out and went over and put it in her suitcase on the pilot berth, except the towel which was damp. She hung that on the edge of the pilot berth to dry.

The Captain said to come up and hold the flashlight.

She went up and held it while he opened up a wooden cover in the deck and reached way down inside. First he pulled out a pile of old rope. Then some hose and an old anchor. Then some wire and then an old rusted iron bowl with four legs and a grill over it.

He held it up in the light of the flashlight. Hibachi, he said. Haven’t used it since Lake Superior… There’s some charcoal down on the pilot berth.

Meaning, Go get it. She went down to the berth and found a bag of charcoal and handed it back up. At least he was talking again.

From the companionway she watched him pour the charcoal in from the bag. You just go where you feel like with this boat, don’t you? she said. Nobody to give you any orders. Nobody to argue with you.

That’s right, he said. Now pass up the kerosene that’s behind the chart table there… in that little shelf. Right behind where I am.

He reached around and pointed to it. She got it and handed it to him.

I’m going to start making the French fries, Lila said, if you’ll tell me where the pots and pans are.

In back of the chart table. Deep inside one of those bins, the Captain said. Just pull off the cover and you’ll see them.