Robert Pirsig - Lila. An Inquiry Into Morals

Sure.

Why would anyone want to write about this? Nothing is happening.

There’s always something happening, he said. When you say "nothing is happening" you’re just saying nothing is happening that fits your cliché of what something is.

What?

It’s hard to explain, he said. Something is happening right now and you think it’s unimportant because you’ve never seen a movie of it. But if you saw three movies in a row of people sailing down the Hudson River and maybe a TV documentary about Washington Irving and the history of the Hudson River and then you got on this trip you’d say, "Boy, this is sure something," because what you were seeing fit some mental picture you already had planted in your mind.

Lila didn’t know what that was all about. He said it like he thought it was pretty smart.

She looked at him for a long time and wondered whether to say something, but changed her mind. She watched the water pass under her elbow.

After a while she asked, You want to have a really good dinner tonight?

Sure, he said.

I’ll make it, Lila said.

You will?

We’ll bring the steaks and you just watch how I cook them. Is it a deal?

You don’t have to, he said.

No, that’s all right, she said, I can cook. I just love to cook. Cooking is one of my favorite things to do.

She looked at the shirt he was wearing. There was a big food spot over the front pocket. She wondered how long he’d worn that shirt. He hadn’t changed shirts for days.

I’m going to put that shirt in the laundry in New York, she said.

He smiled a little.

She thought some more about Florida.

After a while she turned to him again and asked, Do you want to see something really beautiful?

What? the Captain asked.

I’ll show you, she said.

She went below, got out her suitcase, spread it on the berth and opened it. Inside one corner pocket was a bundle of papers with a red ribbon around it. She untied the ribbon and removed a colored pamphlet with JUNGLE QUEEN printed in big red letters across the top. Beneath it was a picture of the most beautiful boat in the world. Lila spread the picture out and carefully turned back one corner that had got folded over.

She brought it up to the deck and sat down next to the Captain and showed it to him. She hung on to it hard so it wouldn’t blow away.

That’s a boat I was on in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, three years ago, she said. With my girlfriend. See where that "X" is? That’s where we used to sit.

The boat looked like a great big beautiful wedding cake with two layers and covered with curlicued frosting. On the front was the state flag of Florida. She knew everything about that boat. Because she had been on it. Many times. The sky was sort of pink and blue with big cottony clouds blowing by in the wind. The boat left just before sunset and that’s how the sky looked. All the flags on the boat were fluttering in the breeze. That was the trade wind. And all around were dark green coconut palm trees waving in the trade wind and the water was pink and blue all around the boat from the sunset with ripples from the breeze. That’s the way it really was. The picture looked so real you wanted to stick your finger in it and feel how warm the water was.

The Captain took the pamphlet in one hand while he steered with the other. He looked at it for a while and then she could see he was reading the part at the bottom. She knew it by heart:

A MUST in Fort Lauderdale.

WORLD FAMOUS ORIGINAL

JUNGLE QUEEN

Acclaimed Florida’s Finest Evening

Come aboard our new 550 passenger boat.

Bar-B-Q and Shrimp Dinner Cruise — 7 p.m.

Alcoholic Beverages Available.

Make reservations at your Hotel or Motel or Phone.

His expression didn’t change. He squinted at it like a doctor examining somebody. Then he frowned and said, Do you know the owners, or something?

No, Lila said. It’s just a boat we rode on a few years ago.

That’s a head-boat, he said.

What’s a head-boat?

Where they charge by the head to go cruising.

Of course, Lila said. She didn’t understand why he was frowning. But they don’t charge very much. Open it up.

The Captain opened up the pamphlet to a big picture of the Jungle Queen. He asked, Why is this so important to you?

I don’t know, Lila said. She looked up at him to see if he was really listening. I can remember so many worlds, she said, I’m not sure what I mean by that… but there are so many worlds and I just touch them and I’m in them for a moment and then I’m out of them again… Things like my grandfather’s house where I used to play. And my dog that I used to have… things like that. They don’t really mean anything to anybody else except once in a while you can share them with someone.

The Captain looked down and read, A Lauderdale tradition for over thirty years… the "all you wish to eat" dinner, the vaudeville show and the sing-a-long have made it a "must" in Fort Lauderdale. There is nothing else like it…

The Captain looked up. What’s a sing-a-long? he asked.

She was my favorite, Lila said.

Who?

The woman who led the sing-a-long. She could have been my sister. I wish she was my sister. At first everyone was so stuffed with food no one wanted to sing very much, but she got them all going.

She’s not like me at all, Lila said. She had dark hair, really beautiful dark hair and a beautiful figure and she had what you call a "magnetic personality." You know what I mean? She really liked everybody who was there and they all liked her too. She didn’t act like she thought she was any better than anybody else… There was this old man sitting in front of us and he wouldn’t say anything… he was just like you… Lila watched the Captain. So she sat next to him and put her arms around him and started to sing "Put Your Arms Around Me Baby" to him and pretty soon he couldn’t keep from grinning. She wouldn’t let anybody sit there and act like they were all alone.

You could see she was very smart. I mean how quick she was to catch on to everything. One man tried to grab her and she just smiled as sweet as if he handed her a ten-dollar bill or something. She said, "You just save that for your wife, honey," and everybody laughed. And he liked it too. She knew how to take care of herself.

She sang "Oh, You Great Big Beautiful Doll," and "Yes, Sir, That’s My Baby," and "Nothing Could Be Finer Than to be in Carolina," and lots of others. I wish I could remember them all. And all the time the boat was floating down the river through the palm trees in the dark and it was so beautiful. And then she sang, "Shine On Harvest Moon," and just as the boat came around a corner of the river the palm trees opened up and there it was. A full moon. Everybody went "Ohhhhhh!" See, she planned it that way so that she would be singing that just as they came around the corner.

Ugh. The Captain looked angry.

What’s the matter?

That’s too much.

What’s too much? Lila asked.

That’s all static, he said.

What’s that?

It’s just cliches, one after another!

He pointed to the picture of the Jungle Queen. Look at those smokestacks coming out the top. Those are for a steamboat. That isn’t any steamboat.

They’re just there to look pretty.