Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

“Well, when you grow up in the shadow of a big brother, it’s kind of a survival thing.”

Asa laughed. “I know what you mean. By the way, what does your brother do now?”

Noelle looked over at him and gave him a half-smile. “Asa, you’re going to think it’s not safe to be around me.”

Asa looked puzzled, then realized what she was going to tell him. He shook his head. “I should just stop asking questions.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind. When Pete and I were growing up, our lives were influenced by our parents’ examples of service to others. It was only natural for Pete to enlist. My father was torn by Pete’s decision. On one hand, as a man of God, he didn’t believe in one man taking another’s life. At the same time, however, he was so very proud of his son. My mother was heartbroken when he shipped out, and when we received the news that he had been killed, we were devastated. Everyone loved Pete. I was only sixteen at the time, but seeing my parents’ heartache, I can honestly say that it shook their faith to the core.”

Noelle paused and then went on. “Asa, Pete died doing what he was raised to do: help others. For me, looking back at the course of his life, I realize now that it had always been leading up to that moment. Like so many other brave men, he gave his life for others. In time, my parents grew to realize this, too, but the initial shock was almost more than they could bear.”

“You have certainly seen more than your share of tragedy,” Asa said quietly.

“Mmmm.” Noelle was then silent and lost in thought. Soon she smiled again. “Enough about me! How ’bout you?”

“Oh, there’s not much to tell,” Asa said, shaking his head. He had finished painting around the second window and was closing in on the door frame. “It’s been my strategy to distract you, though, so I can win.”

Noelle laughed. “And you say I’m competitive?”

“Didn’t I tell you this morning? Last one finished buys the beer.”

“Is that so?” Noelle dipped her brush and began painting with renewed vigor.

An hour later, Asa stepped back and viewed the house. Noelle put down her brush and stood beside him. She reached up and lightly put one hand on his shoulder and leaned against him. He knew it was an innocent gesture, but to Asa, the touch of her hand rushed through his body like a brush fire burning through dry tinder.

“Looks good!” she said.

Asa nodded slowly, not wanting to move-afraid to move- afraid that she would take her hand away. And now, the only thing he wanted was to feel her touch.

Noelle gently squeezed his shoulder and laughed. “Well, I guess the beer’s on me!” Then she added, “Pizza, too, if you’d like…” She stepped away and grinned at him. Asa smiled back. He looked at the tan of her flushed cheeks. He studied her dark eyes and the way her hair, damp with perspiration, fell across her forehead. He wanted to reach out and gently touch her face, to lightly brush her hair back into place. Instead he held his arms stiffly at his sides and struggled to gain control over his desire.

God, please help me. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

After Asa left to pick up the pizza, Noelle replenished Martha’s water and hurried upstairs for a shower. She washed quickly, wanting to be back downstairs before he returned. She was toweling dry when she glimpsed her reflection in the long mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. She paused and slowly ran her hand over the flatness of her tan stomach and she stood up straighter. Not bad for thirty-two, s he thought. She looked at the fullness of her breasts and then turned slightly to see her backside. I could still pass for twenty-five… maybe… Well, okay, twenty-six. She sighed. Eighteen is long gone, though. She studied her body. What am I thinking? This is crazy! She threw the towel at the mirror and pulled on a pair of clean white shorts and a pink sleeveless blouse. As she brushed her hair, she pictured Asa’s blue eyes and the crooked way his mouth curved up on one side when he laughed. He is definitely a cute kid, she thought, but that’s the operative word: kid -one who, I’m sure, already has plenty of female attention!

Hearing the truck in the driveway, Noelle hurried downstairs. She was just opening the fridge when he came in. “Hey, that’s not fair,” he said, seeing that she had showered and changed.

“Well, you can shower, too, if you’d like.”

Asa quickly considered the opportunity to stand in the shower where Noelle had just stood- naked. The invitation was tempting.

“No, I’m just kidding,” he heard himself say, and then added, “But I was thinking-would you like to walk down to the beach with all this?”

“ Walk down?”

“It’s not far-there’s a path behind the pool.” Noelle looked puzzled. How could she not know that there was a path from her own yard? “Isaac and I wore it in years ago. It’s a little overgrown, but it’s still passable.”

Twenty minutes later, Asa had laid out a beach blanket and was trying to tune in a small portable radio. The crowd on the beach was thinning out, but some late-day sun lovers still lingered. Noelle sat down on the blanket and opened the pizza box. She recognized the lyrics of a Patti Page hit from three summers earlier. “I love that song. Can you get it to come in?”

Asa slowly turned the knob, and the lyrics lilted sweetly into the evening air. Noelle sang along softly to the famous song about loving old Cape Cod. Asa just listened and sipped his icy beer. It tasted good after the long, hot day. The song ended, and as Asa reached for a slice of pizza, the announcer said, “Now here’s another summer song for all you lovers out there, from last year’s hit movie starring Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue. See if you recognize this one.” A popular instrumental theme drifted from the radio, and Noelle asked Asa if he had seen the movie. He nodded as he hungrily devoured his first slice before Noelle even started.

They sat quietly, looking out at the waves, and Asa began to notice the silence. Noelle reached for a slice of pizza. “Now, back to what we were talking about before.”

Asa looked questioningly at her over his beer bottle.

“Don’t you remember?”

He shook his head.

“You.”

“I already told you-there isn’t anything to tell. Nothing new or exciting, and besides, you already know everything.”

“I’m sure I don’t know everything . After all, here you are, Asa, on the cusp of life, full of hopes and dreams and heading off to college-that’s very exciting.”

“Well, it should be, but sometimes I think I would rather just stay here and get a job and never leave the Cape. I love it here.” He paused before continuing. “Going to college will definitely be different from going to prep school. Isaac had already been at the Gunnery for a year when I started. He was always around, and that made it easy for me. By the time he graduated, I was very comfortable being there.” He shook his head. “This won’t be the same. I’m not like Isaac.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Colleges take great strides to make sure their freshmen become oriented and settled. Besides, you will be so busy with classes, making friends-and meeting women-you won’t have time to be homesick.”

Asa looked over at Noelle and raised his eyebrows. “Meeting women? I’m afraid I’m not very good at that. Besides, not only are there no women at Dartmouth”-he hesitated and caught her eye-“but I’m already hooked on someone .”

“Oh, Asa.” She smiled gently at him. “If I were ten years younger and not married,” she added with a frown, “you would be just the kind of guy I’d be looking for-funny, handsome, not to mention poetic. I could go on, but I don’t want it to go to your head!”