Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

Noelle was standing next to Nate when they walked in, dressed simply in a sleeveless navy blue linen blouse with a low neckline and white slacks. Nate was talking to Samuel and another friend. The boys and Jen made their way over to say hello. They shook hands with the men, and then Isaac gave Noelle a kiss and introduced Jen. Asa stood back, watching the introduction. He wasn’t sure if it was the color of her blouse or the shadow of the evening light, but he thought Noelle’s skin looked even darker than the last time he had seen her. When she finally turned to him, he smiled but hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and kissing her lightly on the cheek. Her sandalwood perfume and the closeness of her body aroused him. Noelle pointed in the direction of the kitchen and told them she’d be right in to make sure they had found everything they needed.

The three newcomers encountered Sarah coming out of the kitchen. She looked at Asa’s shirt and raised her eyebrows. Asa grinned and kept walking. Isaac ladled a bowl of chowder for Jen and one for himself, and they went out to the porch in search of drinks. Asa was fixing his own bowl of chowder when Noelle pushed open the kitchen door.

“So, how are you?” she asked.

He looked up. “I’m fine. Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get back over here-”

Noelle put her hand up before he could go any further. “No apologies. The weather hasn’t cooperated one bit. Is the chowder still warm?”

“Yup.”

“Do you have a drink?” she asked.

“Nope.” He smiled at her. “I’ll have a beer, though, if there’s one to be had…”

“What will your parents say if they see you drinking?”

“Oh, they won’t care,” Asa replied, grating a little fresh pepper onto his chowder. Noelle opened the refrigerator and leaned down, reaching into the back for a cold one. Asa looked up over from what he was doing and saw Noelle’s white slacks tighten around her figure. He closed his eyes and listened to the laughter and voices coming from the adjacent room. He felt a cool breeze drift through the open window, whispering across his face and rustling the curtain. For a moment, he remembered lying in bed as a boy and listening to these same comforting sounds, and he felt a sudden longing for the innocence of those days. Noelle stood and closed the refrigerator, and Asa picked up his chowder. He cradled it in one hand as Noelle handed him a plastic cup.

“I can’t believe your parents won’t care,” she said skeptically.

“And I can’t believe I’m standing in your kitchen-drinking again!”

“I know! You are going to get me in trouble,” she said, relaxing into a mischievous grin.

He looked intently into her eyes. “I wish that were so…” He slowly breathed in her fragrance, suddenly not wanting to ever breathe in any other air.

“I wish it were so too,” she said quietly. “If you only knew how much…”

Asa half smiled and reached for his cup as the kitchen door swung open.

“There you are,” Nate said, coming into the kitchen with his hands full of empty bowls. He set them in the sink and rinsed his hands, filling the bowls with sudsy water at the same time. He dried his hands on a towel. “How’s it going, Asa?” he asked.

“Pretty well, Uncle Nate,” Asa began, “except for getting back over here. I was just apologizing to Noelle about-”

Noelle interrupted, “I told him no apology necessary. It rains every time he has a day off from the coast guard station.”

“That’s right, Asa, no apologies,” Nate said, stepping behind Noelle and slipping his arms around her. “I’m sure it’ll get done.” He kissed her lightly on her neck and said, “Now, are you coming back out there?”

“Yes, I was just making sure this boy had everything he needed.” She winked at him.

Asa forced a smile in return, all the while struggling to quell the surge of envy that had blindsided him as he watched their innocent, yet intimate, exchange.

“Do you need anything else?” Noelle asked.

“Nope, I’m set,” Asa answered, as his heart whispered, Actually, there is-quite a bit more…

“Okay, well, let me know if you think of anything,” she said as she followed Nate out of the kitchen.

Asa just nodded. After they had gone, he leaned against the counter, took a sip of his beer, and breathed deeply. Noelle’s scent lingered, teasing his senses, and he closed his eyes and imagined that she was still standing there…

After putting his bowl in the sink and refilling his cup, Asa wandered out to the pool. He walked along the edge of the yard and suddenly remembered the path to the beach that he and Isaac had worn through the scraggly growth when they were younger. He wondered if it was still passable. He looked back at the pool to get his bearings and then walked about ten feet to the left. There it was, a bit overgrown but still visible. He pushed aside a branch and remembered the way as if it were only yesterday that he and Isaac had chased each other, defying the gnarled undergrowth scratching their bare skin and tumbling out to the waves. Tonight, as he drew closer to the thundering surf, he could almost hear Isaac shouting, Last one in is a rotten egg!

Asa reached the opening to the beach and slid down the dune, catching his shirt. He slipped off his L.L. Bean camp mocs, shook out the sand, and walked to the water’s edge. The moon was hazy, but Asa could make out the turbulence of the waves. He stood there, silently watching and trying to understand the tempest that was stirring inside of him. After a while, he finished his beer and walked back to the place where the path opened up. He set down his shoes, put his cup in one of the shoes, and turned back to the ocean. He had no desire to return to the party. He walked along the water’s edge and listened to the waves. His mind was full of questions. He knew that what had happened with Noelle was wrong, but in his heart it had felt so very right. How could that be?

Long ago, Asa had sat out on the porch with Sarah while she was reading her Bible. He had tried to explain to her the way that he prayed. He told her that he liked to “think to God.” He said it was more like sharing his thoughts than praying. Sarah had smiled at his description. She pictured God smiling, too, when He was included in Asa’s thoughts. She imagined that God treasured her young son’s simple and honest faith.

Now Asa naturally did what he had always done-he turned his thoughts into a prayer, knowing that God was listening. As much as I tout living the simple life, I do want to fall in love and be loved. How else can I be a poet? I know there is no way for anything more to happen with Noelle, but, damn-sorry-I just can’t stop thinking about her. No doubt I am attracted to her-she is beautiful-but she is so much more than that. She is funny and easy to talk to and she likes poetry. Why is it that the one woman I fall for is taken? And even though I know this can never happen, I let myself think about her. I am such a fool!

As Asa continued along, he noticed a family walking slowly ahead of him. A young couple, holding hands and laughing, was followed by a pair of footprints that wandered carelessly along the beach. Ahead of the couple, two small figures darted back and forth, chasing the waves and stooping to pick up stones and shells. The two figures often ran to the couple and dropped their treasures into the pail that the man was carrying, and then they raced off again in search of more treasure.

Asa suddenly realized that he was looking at his own life. Did You put this family in my path to remind me of my own childhood? To remind me of all of my parents’ efforts to teach and guide me? Could You have known that I would walk this stretch of beach on this night and struggle with these feelings? Asa had been raised to believe that there were no coincidences in life, but he was still amazed when moments like this occurred. Moments of grace, Sarah called them. Perfect timing, he thought . He smiled and stopped. He didn’t want to intrude on the family’s walk. Asa watched them disappear into the night and then turned back. Walking along on the edge of creation, he believed and trusted that he was the singular focus of God’s attention. Thank you for listening. I guess I’ll just have to keep busy and focus on finishing Nate’s house, keeping my head on straight, and then focusing on school. Perhaps, though, if You have time, You might keep an eye out for a girl like Noelle… for me…