Carl Weber - Baby Momma Drama

“Okay, Betty Jean.” Big Momma took her voice down a few notches. “But Jasmine, me and you gonna have a nice, long talk tomorrow. You hear? So just be prepared.”

As everybody else took their slices of pie and headed for the living room, I could feel my head starting to ache. I went upstairs to the bathroom and pulled out the Tylenol. This was slowly but surely turning into one of those days.

“There’s a lot of pills in that bottle. You’re not gonna do anything stupid just because Big Momma pissed you off, are you?” Stephanie had followed me upstairs. I sighed as I opened the bottle and answered her.

“No, I’m not gonna do anything stupid. I just got a headache.” I took out two pills and shoved them in my mouth.

“Can you believe Sabrina told Big Momma about Dylan getting beat up? I thought that wench was my friend.”

“Well, you never know who your friends are these days.”

“That’s for sure.” I placed the bottle back in the medicine cabinet and turned to face Stephanie. She looked so concerned.

“What I wanna know, Jasmine, is why the hell you’re marrying Derrick so soon. He’s just got outta jail two months ago. Are you just tryin’ to rub it in my face ’cause I never made it to the altar?”

“What? Please, this ain’t got nothing to do with you. I’m marrying him because I love him, Stephanie. I been waiting for him to get outta prison for three years.”

I knew Stephanie was going to be jealous about my engagement. Especially since she and Travis weren’t together anymore. But I never thought she’d be judging me for choosing Derrick. Shit, it wasn’t like he was any worse than Malek.

“Big Momma’s right, Jasmine. He’s not a good guy at all.” Stephanie was pissing me off with her holier-than-thou attitude. I had Big Momma downstairs to give all the lectures I needed. I did not need one from her. Besides, who was she to give anyone advice after the way she messed things up with Travis?

“How the hell would you know if he’s a good man, Stephanie? You haven’t spent more than five minutes with Derrick since he’s been home.”

Stephanie folded her arms across her chest and stared at me, hard and long.

“Are you sure about that? You do a lot of overtime, don’t you? How do you know how much time I spend with Derrick? How do you know how much time anyone spends with him and that big old johnson of his?” Stephanie sucked her teeth and smirked at me like she had a secret. What the hell was she up to? And how the hell did she know how big Derrick was? Suddenly, my headache was worse.

“Look, Steph, if you got something to say, then say it. Otherwise, don’t play with me about my man. Keep it up and you and I will be fighting, party or no party.” I put my finger in her face for effect.

“Look, you don’t have to act all shitty with me. Like you used to tell me, I’m your sister. I just don’t wanna see you get hurt. All I’m saying is, watch your back. Derrick’s not the man you think he is.”

“You better not be fucking my man, Stephanie.” What the hell was she trying to tell me? Could my own sister really have sunk so low as to sleep with my man?

“You got a lot bigger problems than me fucking him. At least I’d give him back.” She turned around and walked down the stairs. “You may not know it, Jasmine, but I love you. Remember that.”

She loved me. I sure didn’t hear that too often from her. But right now I was more concerned with what else she had told me. I wasn’t quite sure what she was warning me about, but I was sure as hell going to find out when Derrick got home. Maybe Stephanie was just making this up so I could join her club of losers who couldn’t get married. Or maybe, just maybe, my sister knew a hell of a lot more about Derrick than she was telling me. I was going to have to keep a close eye on both of them.

I went down the stairs a few minutes after Steph and was amazed at how quiet the house was. There were at least fifteen adults in the house and five kids, but I didn’t hear a sound except for a few of the kids out back. It was highly unusual to have a party with my family where Big Momma’s mouth couldn’t be heard from every corner of the house. I was getting nervous and then confused, when I walked into the living room and saw everyone just sitting there. Momma had her hand over her mouth, and her eyes were wet. A million things ran through my mind as I looked around and realized everyone in the room was staring at me.

“What is it?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

“Jasmine, baby, come here.” Big Momma put out her cigarette and reached her hand out to me. I went to her chair and sat on the arm. She slipped her arm around my waist.

“Gerald, move out the way.”

My uncle Gerald was a big, fat, jolly man who was always smiling. Except for now. His face was as scary-serious as everyone else’s in the room.

“Momma, I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” he said.

“I told you to move, boy!” Big Momma raised her cane as if she were about to knock Gerald out. He moved out the way reluctantly, and I got a view of the TV That’s when my entire life came crashing down on me. There on the television was a video of Derrick in our bedroom. Some woman’s head was bobbing up and down in his crotch area, and the two of them were just moanin’ away. I tried to make out who the woman was, but the camera was showing more of her ass than her face. One thing was for sure: it wasn’t Stephanie. She had a big old birthmark on her ass I remembered ever since we were kids. It was probably that bitch Wendy, but I couldn’t be sure.

My eyes were glued to the TV screen, and I started to cry. That’s when I felt Big Momma squeeze me, and I remembered I wasn’t alone watching this horror. It had to be the most embarrassing moment of my life. I started screaming.

“Get the fuck out my house! All of you, get the fuck out my house!” I pointed toward the door.

“Now, baby, don’t get mad at us.” Big Momma was the only one bold enough to speak. “We your family. We gonna be here no matter what.”

“I don’t give a damn about that, Big Momma. All I want is for you to get the hell outta my house. Can’t you understand that? Just get!”

They started to scatter at that point Even Big Momma gave up and headed for the door. A few people put a hand on my shoulder and tried to comfort me as they walked by, but I wasn’t going for it. I just pointed them toward the door.

“You gonna be ah’ ight, Jasmine?” Stephanie was the last one to leave.

“What the fuck you think?” I was nearly hysterical by this point, but Stephanie wasn’t giving up. She kept talking.

“After all the mistakes I made with Travis, Jasmine, I don’t know what to think anymore. I just hope you leave him.”

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew he was fucking around on me?”

She looked down at the ground. “I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but I didn’t like what I saw when I came by your house. It wasn’t right having that bitch around while you’re at work.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Stephanie?”

“Would you have believed me?”

I hesitated because she was right-I probably wouldn’t have.

“You still should have told me, Steph.”

“I couldn’t tell you. Not without any evidence. He would have lied, and you would have believed him. And the only one who would have gotten hurt would be me. I would have lost a sister I’m just now getting to know.”

I looked at her sadly as she continue.

“You need to get away from him as fast as possible, Jasmine.”

“You think I don’t know that? I can’t help it if I still love the fool.”

I must have sounded as helpless as I felt, ’cause Stephanie didn’t stick around with any more words of wisdom. I guess I couldn’t blame her. I had just finished kicking everyone out, and they were all probably waiting outside to hear what I said to her. She could only stay but so long before Big Momma got pissed.