Kingsley Amis - Russian Hide-and-Seek

‘Well, that’s about all I have to tell you. I thought you’d like to know the position, and as I said I wanted to have a proper look at some of you.’ He pressed his lips together and twitched a couple of times. ‘I realise I’m very lucky, in that I know what to do. I have something to live by – the values and rules of the institution I’m part of and have been part of for many years. Traditions, if you like. Now some of you may argue that those rules and traditions leave a certain amount to be desired, and there may well be something in that. But for me, for us, for these guards, they’re better than nothing, which is what you’ve got. By “you” I mean not only you who are here, or you and your colleagues downstairs, but everyone in this country who isn’t part of Security: the administration, the bureaucrats and their families, all the units of supervision. The army is a bit of an exception but it hasn’t got enough to do. We have plenty to do, and we can do it well or badly; our behaviour has meaning. You, all of you, can’t do anything, from keeping a secret to washing a dish. You can’t even come up with a decent fortune-teller.’ As he said this he looked at Theodore, who caught the look. ‘By the way, I know you won’t tell anybody I made those nasty remarks about the administrators and the rest. I’m sure I can trust you. Well, if no one has any questions…

There was a wordless stir among those on the benches. The guards again looked at Vanag, who again showed them his palm. He said earnestly,

‘Do feel quite free to ask anything within reason.’

‘Please tell us what will happen to us,’ said a voice.

‘How terribly thoughtless of me, of course you want to know that. The trouble is, I can’t really give you an answer. It doesn’t rest with me, you see; it’s a matter for the courts. But if you want, let’s call it an educated guess…?’

‘Please,’ said the voice.

‘Very well. This is where raising the stakes comes in – it really was intolerably feeble of me to forget that. I’m afraid that by accepting the provocation you’ve done yourselves a grave disservice. The judges are bound to take a serious view of those deaths, deaths of criminals, true, but still Russian deaths. Let’s be specific. I think any form of execution can safely be excluded. Yes, I think so. But the setting of any limit to your confinement – almost equally unlikely. So we seem to be left with the question of what form of confinement it might be. I’m pretty sure it will have to be confinement. I’d rule out exile – for those of you who don’t know, exile is enforced residence in one or another Asian locality. Yes, I’m afraid I can’t honestly see it being exile. Exile is what your more fortunate counterparts in less violent districts will suffer. In my prediction. If you’re very unlucky, if the prosecution press hard for it, it’ll be strict régime – a strict-régime labour camp, where the weakest are the luckiest. But… No, my forecast would be a standard labour camp, not too cold. You’re expected to work, not die. I’m told it’s possible to have some sort of life in such places, rather depending on which one it is. Are there any more questions?’

There were none.

‘Then that’s all. I’d like to thank each one of you for being fool enough to play your part in the only interesting thing that’s happened tome in eleven years. Not only interesting in itself, but the means of a much-desired promotion. I’ve been told unofficially that I’m to have Oxford. You people can imagine what a thrill that is for me. There are still colleges there, you know. The buildings, that is. Very cultured. You won’t start blabbing that everywhere you go, will you? Thank you for your attendance. Dismiss.’

Now Vanag made a sign to the guards that sent them hurrying forward, but Theodore had time to raise his hand to him in a gesture of appeal. He nodded and beckoned to the nearest guard. Thumps and cries were heard as the audience were helped on their way out of the lecture-theatre.

Theodore found himself separated from the other prisoners. The guard Vanag had spoken to, squat but powerful, with sallow Mongolian looks, gripped him by the upper arm and bundled him to the landing. The man pulled him about as they went so that he constantly staggered and stumbled, giving the appearance of resistance while offering none. In the same way he was thrown into and out of the lift, although in both cases he was quite willing to do what was required of him. When he started to say so he was slapped hard and expertly across the face, twice, backhand and forehand. He ought to have learned better by now, his third day in custody. Well, sooner or later he would learn, there was no possible doubt of that. The object must be never to let him forget for a single moment that he was in captivity. He would learn that too.

On the lower floor he was dragged and pushed along a wide corridor and flung into a room opening off it, so violently that he almost fell. It was a small room, not only furnished sparsely but containing a remarkable paucity of objects: nothing on the walls, no cupboards, no files, no papers, just an open note-pad and pen on the desk at which Vanag sat facing him. The only other things on the desk were an intercom, a telephone with switches and a glass that had contained fruit-juice – lemonade, Theodore remembered. Also present was a fair-haired man of about thirty in civilian clothes, sitting behind a bare scrubbed table at right angles to the desk. He said nothing and made no move throughout the interview that followed, and Theodore never had any idea what he was there for.

When neither of the other two spoke, he said, ‘May I sit down?’

Vanag looked at him. His manner had lost some of the affability it had held during his address upstairs. ‘Yes,’ he said after a moment. ‘Well, what do you want?’

‘Nina Petrovsky,’ said Theodore, settling himself on a wooden folding chair. ‘Where is she, do you know? She doesn’t seem to be in any of the cells here.’

‘Of course I know where she is; I know where everybody is. She’s in hospital, but she won’t be there for long. Just a little concussion. Nothing serious.’

‘How?’

‘She resisted arrest.’

‘But what could she do’? She’s only a girl.’

‘Perhaps no more than verbally.’

‘May I see her?’

‘No you may not,’ said Vanag sternly.’ Do you think I have men to spare for frivolous errands like that’? There’s still a lot of work to get through.’

‘Will I see her again?’

‘It’s possible; it’s also unlikely. You may be moved out at any moment. Is there anything else?’

‘How was her brother killed?’

‘Shot by one of his own men as he was about to shoot his father.’

‘Oh.’ Theodore reflected. ‘How did the man happen to be there so conveniently? It doesn’t matter – what about your man? Where was he at the time? Or-’

The other gave a convulsive nod. ‘You have a point,’ he said. ‘Our man was snoring on his bed and the show woke him up. He only had three of the servants under his orders and he wasn’t expecting anything to happen till the next day but one. Like everybody else, I’m only as good as whoever they send me.

‘Who was he?’

‘No. There are some rules I never break.’

‘Whoever he was, how’s that episode going to look in your report?’

‘Very different from how it happened.’

Theodore gave a sort of laugh. There was hardly any amusement in it, but it affected Vanag. The look he now sent Theodore was not friendly, but it was not contemptuous or irritated either; it acknowledged the intimacy brought them by having taken part in the same operation, even though on opposite sides. He spoke a single word into the intercom on his desk and seemed to relax a little.