Tony Parsons - Man And Wife

Batty had his own reasons for being fanatical about the rights of men. In his past there was an international marriage, twin daughters and a messy divorce. I knew that he never saw his daughters. But for some reason I imagined that he could make it all work out differently for me.

’My wife can’t do this, can she? She can’t just take my son to live in another country. I mean – can she?’

’Is the residential parent preventing contact?’

’Speak English, Nigel, will you?’

He sighed.

’If this move takes place, will your ex-wife stop you from seeing your child?’

’It’s the Atlantic Ocean that will stop me seeing my son.’

’But your ex-wife is not intending to deny you access to your child?’

’She’s denying me access by moving to another country.’

’I see.’

’Look – what can we do? How can we stop her? I don’t care what it takes, Nigel. I don’t care what you have to say or do. It’s all fine.’

’I hate to say I told you so. But you were the one who wanted to play by Marquess of Queensberry rules.’

’Bottom line, Nigel – can she just take my boy out of the country?’

’Bottom line? Not without your consent.’

’My consent?’

He nodded. ’If she takes your son out of the country without your consent, then she is doing something very naughty.’ He smiled nastily. ’We call it abduction.’

’She needs my okay?’

’Exactly.’

’But that’s great news! Isn’t it? That’s terrific news, Nigel. And what can she do if I don’t give my consent?’

’She would have to make an application to court for leave to remove the child permanently from jurisdiction.’

’So just by withholding consent, I can’t be sure I’d stop her?’

’If you wanted to deny consent, and she wanted to fight, then the court would decide. That’s what it comes down to. Would it be difficult for you to visit your child if the move went ahead?’

’Well, it’s Connecticut. I can’t nip round on a Sunday afternoon, can I?’

’No, but her side would no doubt argue that there are plenty of cheap flights from London to the East Coast. And you’re in gainful employment, as I recall.’ He glanced at his notes. ’Television producer. Of course. That must be interesting. Anything that I might have seen?’

’I started out on The Marty Mann Show. Now I do Fish on Friday.’

’Ah, excellent. Why do Kilcarney girls close their eyes during sex?’ Little Woody Allen cough. He did it very well. ’Because they hate to see a man enjoying himself. Most amusing.’

Which reminded me that Barry Twist, the show’s cornmissioning editor, had been leaving messages for me to call him all week. The station was suddenly worried about Eamon just as I had other things to worry about. But for the first time it really dawned on me what Marty meant about not keeping all your eggs in one chicken. If Eamon went down, I would go with him.

’If this move to America goes ahead, is your ex-wife denying you reasonable access?’

’How do you mean?’

’Would you ever see your son again?’

’Well, she says I could come over. And see him in the holidays. Or he could come back here. But it’s not the same, is it? It’s not the same as being in London together. It’s not the same as having a life together.’ I shook my head. ’I can feel him… slipping away.’

’I know the feeling.’

’I don’t know how we can explain it to him. Moving to America, I mean.’

’Oh, you can sell a seven-year-old anything. The question is

– why should you? Listen, Mr Silver. We can make her seek permission to take the child out of the country. Convince the court that your child would be at risk in some way if the move goes ahead. Letting it go to court would be time-consuming, traumatic and expensive though. I have to warn you – it would also be unpredictable.’

I made an effort not to look at the photograph of two smiling small girls on his desk. Because I knew that Nigel Batty had fought exactly this same fight and lost.

’What happened to me wouldn’t necessarily happen to you,’ he said, reading my mind. ’Your wife would need to give details of the proposed arrangements for your child. Accommodation, education, health, maintenance, childcare, contact. Then the court would decide if it needed to exercise any of its powers.’

’What are the chances?’

I could hear him breathing in the silence.

’Not good. There’s something called the maternal preference factor. Do you understand that term?’

’No.’

’It means that, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the father gets fucked.’

’But that’s not fair.’

’Post-divorce parenting is almost always the prerogative of the mother. The law is meant to care about the welfare of the child. In reality, the law cares about the wishes of the mother. Spot the difference? Not the welfare of the child, but the wishes of the mother. If your ex-wife can convince the court that she has no intention of denying you contact, and that your child’s wellbeing would not suffer because of the change of residence, then she can pretty much take your child where she wants. And if I may get personal for a moment – that is exactly what happened to me.’

He picked up the photograph on his desk, studied it for a moment, and then placed it down again, now facing me. I saw two smiling children, lost forever to their father.

’Then there’s no hope.’

’There’s always hope, Mr Silver. You can withhold consent. We can apply for a contact order. At the very least, that would slow her down. Make her go to the airport the long way round. Who knows? It might even stop her leaving the country.’

’And the order would say that I must be allowed to see my boy? She couldn’t stop me seeing Pat?’

’Well, not exactly. You would have contact as the named person in the contact order.’

The named person. Once I was a father. Now I was a named person.

’We hear a lot about absent fathers in our society, Mr Silver. We don’t hear so much about decent fathers who are denied contact with their children because of the whim of a judge. I have seen men destroyed by losing contact with their children. And I mean quite literally destroyed. Nervous breakdowns. Suicides. Alcoholics. Heart attacks. Blood pressure so high that a stroke was inevitable. Men killed by the loss of their children. Men who had done nothing wrong.’

’But I did.’

’What?’

’I did something wrong. I’m not like those other men. My first marriage. The break-up. It was all my fault.’

’What was your fault?’

’Our divorce. The break-up of our marriage. It was my fault. I slept with someone else.’

My lawyer laughed out loud. ’Mr Silver. Harry. That’s completely irrelevant. You don’t have to be true to your wife. Goodness me, that’s what this country is all about.’ His face became serious again. ’There’s something else you have to consider, Mr Silver, and it’s the most important thing of all.’

’What’s that?’

’You have to ask yourself what happens if you win.’

’That’s all good, isn’t it? That’s nothing but good. If I win, then Pat stays in the country and Gina has no choice. That’s just what we want to happen, isn’t it?’

’Well – how’s your ex-wife going to feel if you stop her moving to America?’

’I guess… she will start to hate me. Really and truly hate my guts.’

Not for the first time, I remembered Gina’s dream of living in Japan that I stole on our wedding day. Now I would be stealing her dream of living in America. I would have denied her two shots at happiness.