Abbi Glines - Existence

“Pagan.”

Crap! He’d come after me. I couldn’t let him see me crying. Humiliation wouldn’t be a strong enough word for what I’d feel if Leif knew I’d shed a tear over this. I forced a nonchalant expression on my face and turned around. “Yes?”

He appeared upset. I wished I could convince myself of his sincerity. “Look, about last night, I am really sorry. I hadn’t expected you to finish the speech for me. I messed up and I was going to take the bad grade. I should’ve called, but-”

I shook my head to stop him. “It’s not a big deal. However, from now on would you please let me know in advance when you won’t be able to make it to the appointed time for your session? Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I stepped around him and started for class.

“Pagan, wait, please.”

I stopped and considered telling him to go to Hell but decided against it before turning back to face him. “What?”

“I was coming over and Kendra called.”

I shook my head. “I don’t care. Just call next time, please.” I turned and headed toward my class but when I reached it, I didn’t stop walking. Going into a classroom late with everyone’s eyes on me didn’t seem possible at that moment.

I opened the front door of the school and stepped outside. I normally didn’t put myself out there for anyone. Today I’d made the mistake of doing so and got burned. I just wanted to go home. I could deal with my wounded pride alone.

“Don’t leave. He isn’t worth it.” The familiar deep voice almost sounded as if he were pleading. He was walking beside me. His face was tense and the smirk I’d grown accustomed to was missing.

“I don’t want to stay. I’m angry and I just want to leave.”

“Please, Pagan, don’t get in your car. Go back inside. Forget the stupid kid and enjoy the rest of your day. Don’t let something that idiot did send you running.”

I stopped walking and looked at him. “Why do you care if I leave? Are you the new hall monitor and I missed the memo?”

His frown deepened; blue eyes turning icy blue as if a fire had ignited behind them. “I’m begging you to go back in the school.”

“Why?” He ran his hand through his dark, silky hair and growled in frustration. “Do you have to question everything? Can’t you just listen for once?”

That was it. I’d had more than enough for one day. First Leif proves he’s a grade-A jerk, and then the soul who won’t leave me alone decides to get annoyed with me. “I’m leaving here. You can’t stop me. I don’t have to listen to you. If you don’t have a good excuse then there is no reason for me to stay.” I twirled around on the balls of my feet and stalked to my car. Guys were annoying, alive or dead, it didn’t seem to matter.

I quickly cranked the car and focused on getting out of the school parking lot. I didn’t want anyone to see me and report me before I could get out of here. I couldn’t believe I’d actually shed a tear over this. Crying wasn’t my thing. It had to have been the humiliation. I wasn’t accustomed to it and obviously didn’t know how to deal with it.

I adjusted the rear view mirror to see if I looked as bad as I feared, in case my mother came out of her writing burrow when I got home. If my mascara was smeared my mother would notice. I wouldn’t be able to hide the frustration. Fake smiles weren’t a talent of mine.

Sighing, I glanced back at the road. Attempting to fix my face without the help of soap and water was a hopeless cause. The stop sign I’d stopped at a million times surprised me. I hadn’t been paying attention and I’d forgotten to slow down. It was too late to slam on the breaks. I glanced over just in time to see a truck coming directly at me and in one split second the realization hit me: I wouldn’t be able to stop in time.

Everything went black and the screeching wheels and honking horn fell silent. A spinning sensation and a sharp pain shot through my body. I tried to scream for help but nothing came out. I began suffocating. Something heavy was pressed against my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I gasped and reached into the darkness for help. I would suffocate if I didn’t get the heavy weight off my chest. I fought to open my eyes but the darkness held me under. Warmth spread over me as I grabbed something in the darkness. I froze, not sure what I’d found when I realized I could breathe again. The lights suddenly came back on and the world became blindingly bright. I couldn’t open my eyes because of the pain. Someone carried me a short distance and then I felt the cool ground under my back. The abnormally warm hands cradling me disappeared. I tried to protest. I didn’t want my rescuer to leave me, but I couldn’t find my voice. I tried to sit up and intense pain overtook my body. The world went silent.

A hauntingly sweet sound played in the darkness. I turned my head to find the source of the music. My neck was stiff and my head began pounding so loudly it dulled the sound of the melody I’d been trying to find. I stopped moving and kept my eyes closed, waiting for the pain to stop.

“And she awakes,” a voice said in the darkness. I recognized it and instead of fearing it the sound soothed me. The music started playing again and I realized it was the soft strum of a guitar. A low hum joined in and I lay still, listening in the darkness, and glad that the music filled the void, assuring me I wasn’t alone.

Needing to see him, I opened my eyes and realized the lights were off. I lay still while my eyes adjusted to the dark room. I wasn’t in my bedroom. The machine beside me and the needle in my arm were the only clues I needed. I was in a hospital room. The guitar stopped playing. Afraid to turn my head again, I carefully shifted my body instead.

The soul sat in a dark corner, watching me. “What are you doing?” I managed to ask in a hoarse whisper.

He smiled, stood up, and walked over to me. “Well, I’d have thought it would’ve been obvious.” He held up the guitar in his hands. Not only could this soul speak, he also played musical instruments. I wanted to ask more but my throat hurt too badly. He sat down in a chair someone had pulled up beside my bed. “You probably don’t need to talk. You were in a car accident and you’ve suffered a serious concussion along with a broken rib. Other than that, you’re just badly bruised up.”

I remembered the stop sign, and the truck had been coming at me too fast. I’d known it would be unable to stop in time.

“You were wearing your seat-belt and the truck hit the back end of your car and it flipped you a few times.”

Did my mom know? She would be terrified. How long had it been? And why was a soul the only person with me? I glanced over to the machine my wires were hooked up to and, if I were reading it correctly, then I was indeed alive. The sudden fear at the prospect I might be dead eased and I stared back into those intense dark blue eyes.

“Mom?” I managed to ask through my dry sore throat.

The soul smiled. “She just stepped out for some coffee a few moments ago. I expect her to be returning soon enough.”

Mom was here and I would see her in a few minutes. I felt like a little girl, afraid of the dark. Tears stung my eyes as I glanced toward the door, hoping it would open to reveal my mother. A woman with short brown, curly hair drifted into my room without the use of the door. I studied her and she smiled at me but gazed right past the other soul in the room. Once, when I was ten, I had been put in the hospital for pneumonia and I’d realized then that lost, wandering souls were in abundance inside hospitals. This one drifted over to some flowers I hadn’t noticed before by the window. She seemed to be smelling them and she gave a gentle tug to the bunch of ‘Get Well’ balloons attached to a dozen yellow daisies. I glanced back at the soul who sat beside me. He seemed to be studying me intently.