Abbi Glines - Existence

“You see her, don’t you?” he asked, and I nodded. He watched the lady as she glanced back at me one more time before drifting back through the wall. “Have you always seen them?”

I managed to smile at the way he referred to souls as if he was not one himself. I raised my eyebrows and stared at him pointedly. “You’re one of them,” I said in a whisper.

“Yes, I guess, to you, it would seem that way. However, there is a difference between souls and me.”

I frowned. “What?” I knew he could talk to me and souls never spoke to me but he was still a soul without a body.

“I can’t tell you what I am. I’ve broken enough rules already.” He studied the machine beside me instead of meeting my gaze. The door to my room opened and my mother walked in.

Her eyes found mine and she gasped before running over to me, “Pagan, you’re awake! Oh, honey, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up. All alone and confused in a dark hospital room.”

I peeked behind her and saw the soul standing there watching with the sexy smirk I was beginning to get attached to on his perfect lips.

“I just needed a little coffee and then I ran to get this magazine,” she said holding up a plastic green bag. “Let me get the nurse. You just be still. You’re a little busted up but you’re going to be okay.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry,” she said gazing down at me with watery eyes. “It’s just, I keep thinking about your car and how it would have completely crushed you if you hadn’t been thrown from the driver’s seat. I always tell you to wear your seat-belt and the fact you didn’t listen to me saved your life.” She let out a small sob and smiled apologetically at me. “Oh, baby, I’m just so glad you have opened your eyes.”

I smiled at her trying to mask my confusion. “It’s okay,” I whispered.

She bent down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right back. I need to get a nurse. They’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

She headed for the door and I stared back at the soul standing in the corner with the guitar in his hand. It struck me as odd to see him hold a guitar. Did people see a guitar floating in the air? Mom hadn’t seemed to notice, but then she hadn’t looked anywhere but at me.

“The seat-belt,” I whispered through my dry lips. I’d been wearing my seat-belt. I always did. He’d even said it was a good thing I was wearing it. Why did my mother think I hadn’t been, and that not wearing it had saved my life? He stepped forward, watching me closely. The expression on his face said he didn’t know how to answer me. Before he could reply, the door opened again and he retreated back to the corner. A nurse came bustling in with my mother behind her. The answer to my question would have to wait.

The soul left before the nurse finished with me and he hadn’t returned. The next time I woke up I quickly checked around the room, hoping he’d come back, but my mother now sat in his corner working on her laptop. She gazed over at me and smiled.

“Good morning!” The fear I’d seen in her eyes last night was gone…she looked less tense and more like my mom again. Now that I’d awakened and the nurse had assured her I would recover just fine, she seemed less tense and more like my mom again.

I smiled. “Morning.” My throat felt a bit better thanks to all the ice cubes I’d eaten. I reached for my cup of water and Mom jumped up quickly.

“Don’t move. Your broken rib is going to require that you be still for a while.” She put the straw to my lips and I took small sips of the cold water. It felt wonderful on my sore throat. “Miranda has already called this morning and I told her you woke up last night. She is on her way, with Wyatt,” Mom paused and glanced back at the door, “and Leif Montgomery has been in the waiting room all night. He even slept in there. I went and let him know you’d woken up and I told him to go on home because you couldn’t have visitors, but he stayed. The nurses felt bad for him and gave him a pillow and blankets.” She trailed off as if not sure exactly why he’d wanted to stay in a waiting room all night. The memories of his not showing up for our study session because of Kendra resurfaced. I didn’t feel sad anymore or disappointed. The tears I’d shed over him had been pointless.

Mom chewed on her bottom lip. “He said he was the reason you left school upset. I haven’t asked you why you weren’t at school or what happened because I didn’t want to upset you.” She stopped talking and studied me, waiting for me to say something. What could I say? I really didn’t want to see Leif. I’d almost killed myself acting like a silly girl with a crush.

“He’s been here all night?” I asked, wanting to make sure I understood her correctly.

She nodded. “He’s been here since he found out about your accident. He came with Miranda and Wyatt, but he wouldn’t leave with them.”

“Okay, um, if he wants to come in, then that’s fine.”

Mom appeared relieved. I guess she’d worried I might tell the poor boy who’d waited all night in an uncomfortable waiting room that I didn’t want to see him. She hurried out the door and I heard Miranda whisper something as they passed each other. No doubt they were discussing my agreeing to let Leif in to see me. Miranda walked inside and put her hands on her hips and gave me a big cheery smile.

“Look at you, all awake and gorgeous,” she said, walking over to me and sitting in the chair beside the bed. She grabbed my hand and I saw the glistening in her eyes as she fought off tears. I squeezed her hand and her bravado cracked. She let out a sob as tears started running down her face. I glanced up at Wyatt, who stood behind her watching me. He shrugged and gave me what I could tell was a forced smile.

Miranda choked on a sob. “I’m sorry. I said I wasn’t going to cry. I really had myself all worked up to be bright and cheery but I keep remembering your car and hearing the words ‘she was rushed to the hospital unconscious’ over and over again in my head.” She wiped her wet face and smiled through her tears. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. Yesterday was the worst day of my life.” She took our joined hands up to her mouth and kissed them.

“I know,” I said simply. Because I did. If it had been her in this bed instead of me I would’ve been terrified.

“Ironic isn’t it. The one day you decide to break the rules and skip school and not wear your seat belt, which is weird since you’re the Seat Belt Nazi, it all blows up in your face. Makes you want to keep walking the straight and narrow doesn’t it?” Wyatt asked with a grin on his face.

I smiled because laughing hurt, and Miranda rolled her eyes but a smile tugged on the corner her mouth. “Yes, I guess so.” I wanted to clarify the fact I’d been wearing my seat belt but I couldn’t explain something I didn’t understand, so I kept my mouth shut. A knock sounded on the door and Miranda stared at me, chewing her bottom lip nervously.

She lowered her voice to a whisper. “He hasn’t left since he got here with us yesterday. He even missed football practice.”

I watched as Leif walked inside the room. His eyes met mine and he paused a moment before walking into the room farther. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say to him or what he could possibly say to me. He was a guy I tutored and he’d slept in the waiting room all night because I’d acted ridiculous over his blowing off our study session. He was obviously nervous and I knew Wyatt and Miranda’s presence wasn’t helping matters. I didn’t intend to tell everyone my accident was his fault. I didn’t believe that. I knew I’d caused this. Letting him off the hook would be easy enough. However, with my two best friends in the room it would be awkward. I didn’t want them to leave me because having them here felt like a security blanket. I glanced back at Leif and I could see in his eyes he wanted to talk to me without the audience but he wouldn’t ask them to leave. The thought of him sleeping in the waiting room all night because he felt guilty seemed unfair. I needed to ease his conscious so he could go home.