Alaa Al Aswany - The Yacoubian Building

Sheikh Shakir laughed, but Taha remained unsmiling and a heavy silence took over. The sheikh continued bitterly, “The National Security Investigation Bureau is now launching a criminal campaign against all Islamists. Detentions, torture, murder. They open fire on our unarmed brothers while arresting them, then accuse us of resisting the authorities. Real massacres are committed every day. Verily, they will come back on the Day of Resurrection with the blood of these innocents on their hands. I’ve been compelled to leave my residence and stop going to the mosque and I’ve changed the way I look, as you can see. Speaking of which, what do you think of Sheikh Shakir in his Western getup?”

The sheikh let out a loud laugh, attempting to create an atmosphere of good humor, but in vain. An unbudgeable, dark shadow stretched between them, to which the sheikh soon submitted, sighing and saying “God forgive me!” Then he said, “Cheer up, Taha. I know what you’ve been through and appreciate your pain, my son. I wish you to think of everything the unbelievers did to you as going to your account with Our Lord, Almighty and Glorious. Verily, He will reward you for it with the best of rewards, God willing. Know that Paradise is the reward of those who are tortured for God’s cause. Everything that happened to you is but a paltry tax that those who struggle pay gladly for the sake of raising high the word of the Truth, Sublime and Magnificent. Our rulers are fighting for their interests and their ill-gotten wealth, but we are fighting for God’s religion. Their stock in trade finds no buyers and is of no worth, but God has promised us His aid and He will never betray His promise.”

As though he had been waiting for the sheikh’s words to unburden himself of his sorrows, Taha said in a husky voice, “They humiliated me, Master. They humiliated me till I felt the dogs in the street had more self-respect than me. I was subjected to things I never imagined a Muslim could do.”

“They are no Muslims. Nay, they are unbelievers, according to the consensus of the jurists.”

“Even if they were unbelievers, wouldn’t they have an atom of mercy? Don’t they have sons and daughters and wives that they care for and have pity on? Had I been held in Israel, the Jews wouldn’t have done to me as they did. Had I been a spy and a traitor to my country, they wouldn’t have done those things to me. I ask myself what offense could merit that horrible punishment. Has the observance of God’s Law become a major crime? Sometimes in detention I’d think what was happening before me wasn’t real, that it was a nightmare that I’d wake up from to find it was all over. Were it not for my faith in God, Sublime and Magnificent, I would have killed myself to escape from that torment.”

The sheikh’s face registered his pain and he remained silent. Taha made a fist and said, “They blindfolded me so that I wouldn’t know who they were. But I have made an oath and committed myself before God to hunt them down. I will find out who they were and take revenge on them one by one.”

“I advise you, my son, to put this painful experience behind you. I know what I ask is difficult, but it’s the only thing to do in your situation. What happened to you in detention is not something peculiar to you. It is the destiny of all those who speak the truth openly in our unfortunate country. Those responsible are not just a few officers but the criminal and unbelieving regime that rules us. You must direct your anger against the whole regime and not particular individuals. The Almighty has said in His Noble Book, You have had a good example in God ’s Messenger (God has spoken truly). The Chosen One — God bless him and give him peace — was fought against in Mecca and abused and hurt so much that he complained to his Lord of his weakness and the contempt with which people treated him. Yet despite this he did not consider his struggle to be a personal feud with the unbelievers. On the contrary he directed his energy to spreading the Call and in the end, when God’s religion was victorious, the Messenger pardoned all the unbelievers and freed them. This is a lesson you have to learn and act upon.”

“That was the Messenger — God bless him and grant him peace — and the best of His creation, but I’m not a prophet and I’m not capable of forgetting what those criminals did to me. What happened to me pursues me without rest. I’m unable to sleep. I haven’t been to the mosque since I got out and I don’t think that I shall go. I spend all day alone in my room speaking to no one, and sometimes I think I’m losing my mind.”

“Don’t give in, Taha! Thousands of Muslim youth have suffered detention and been subjected to ugly tortures but left detention more determined than ever to resist injustice. The regime’s true objective in torturing Islamists isn’t just to hurt them physically. What they want is to destroy them psychologically so that they lose their capacity to struggle. If you surrender to melancholy, you will have realized the objectives of these unbelievers.”

The sheikh looked at him for a moment, then grasped his hand on the table and said, “When will you return to the mosque?”

“I will never return.”

“No, you must return. You are an outstanding student who is committed to the struggle and a glorious future awaits you, God willing. Trust in God, forget what happened, and go back to your studies and your faculty.”

“I cannot. How can I face people after…?”

Taha suddenly fell silent. His face crumpled and he groaned out loud.

“They violated my honor, Master.”

“Stop!”

“They violated my honor ten times, Master. Ten times.”

“I told you to stop, Taha!”

The sheikh shouted these words vehemently, but Taha struck the table with his fist, shaking and rattling the cups. The sheikh rose quickly from his place and whispered agitatedly, “Pull yourself together, Taha! Everyone’s looking at us. We must leave immediately. Listen, I’ll be waiting for you in front of Cinema Metro in an hour. Take precautions and make sure no one’s watching you.”

Over two months Hagg Azzam used persuasion, temptation, intimidation, and violence. He tried every method on Souad, but she adamantly refused the very idea of an abortion. Soon their shared life came to a complete standstill — no endearments, no tasty food, no pipes of hashish, and no times in bed. The only thing they had left was the subject of abortion. He would come every day and sit in front of her. He would talk to her gently and calmly. Then little by little he would lose his temper and they would fight. He would shout, “You made an agreement and you went back on it.”

“So hang me.”

“From the start we said no pregnancy.”

“You think you’re God, so you can allow things and forbid things?”

“Be sensible and get me out of this fix, for God’s sake.”

“No.”

“I’ll divorce you.”

“Divorce me.”

He said “divorce” with feigned casualness because deep down inside he wanted to keep hold of her, but the idea of having a child at his age was impossible. Even if he allowed it himself, his sons would never allow it, and even though Hagga Salha, his first wife, didn’t even know about his second marriage, how would he keep it from her if he had a child?

When Hagg Azzam gave up on persuading Souad, he left her and went to Alexandria where he met with her brother Hamidu and told him what had happened. Hamidu hesitated and bowed his head in thought for a while. Then he said, “Listen to me, Hagg. We’re both decent people and doing the right thing shouldn’t upset anyone. It’s true I’m her brother, but I can’t ask her to have an abortion. Abortion is forbidden by religion and I’m a God-fearing man.”