Alaa Al Aswany - The Yacoubian Building

After a long conversation ranging over a number of topics by way of preparation, Azzam broached the subject. He spoke of how he loved the people and of his desire to serve them, quoting more than one of the Prophet’s noble hadiths concerning the rewards waiting for those who strive to meet the needs of the Muslims, Kamal el Fouli nodding in agreement. Finally Azzam came to the critical point. He said, “This is why I have sought God’s guidance, placed my trust in Him, and decided, God willing, to put myself forward as a candidate in the coming elections for my constituency, Kasr el Nil. I hope that the Patriotic Party will agree to nominate me and I’m yours to command, Kamal Bey, for anything you may need.”

El Fouli made a show of thinking deeply, even though he had been expecting Azzam to say this.

El Fouli made contradictory impressions on people who saw him. There were his intelligence, quick-wittedness, and overwhelming presence on the one side and on the other his corpulent body, his sagging belly, his always slightly loosened neck tie, the hideous, mismatched colors of his clothes, his crudely dyed hair, his coarse, fat face, his lying, vicious, impertinent looks, and his plebeian manner of speaking, when he would stretch his arms out in front of him, waggling his fingers and shaking his shoulders and belly as he talked, like a woman of the lower classes. All the preceding gave him a somewhat comic appearance, as though he were putting on a turn for the amusement of the bystanders. It also left one with an unpleasant feeling of vulgarity.

El Fouli asked his helpers for pen and paper. Then he started to draw and for a few moments was so absorbed in his task that Hagg Azzam thought that something was wrong. El Fouli soon finished, however, and turned the piece of paper toward Azzam, who was astonished to see that the drawing represented a large rabbit. He said nothing for a moment, then asked him in an amicable way, “I don’t understand what you mean, Your Excellency.”

El Fouli answered quickly, “You want to guarantee your success in the elections, and you’re asking what’s needed. I’ve drawn you a picture of what’s needed.”

“A whole ‘rabbit’? A million pounds, Kamal Bey? That’s a huge amount!”

Azzam had been expecting the amount but preferred to bargain, just in case. El Fouli said, “Listen, Hagg, as God is my witness…

(Here all present repeated, “There is no god but God.”)

“… in constituencies smaller than Kasr el Nil I take a million and a half, two million, and my son Yasser is standing here in front of you and he can tell you. But I love you, I swear to God, Hagg, and I really want you with us in the Assembly. Plus, I don’t take all that for myself. I’m just the postman — I take from you and deliver to others, and a nod’s as good as a wink.”

Hagg Azzam put on a show of uneasiness for a moment, then asked, “You mean, if I pay that sum, Kamal Bey, I’ll be sure of winning the elections, God willing?”

“Shame on you, Hagg! You’re talking to Kamal el Fouli! Thirty years’ experience in parliament! There’s not a candidate in Egypt can win without our say-so, God willing!”

“I hear there are some big fish intending to nominate themselves for Kasr el Nil.”

“Don’t worry about it. If we come to an understanding, God willing, you’ll win in Kasr el Nil even if the devil himself stands against you. Just leave it to me, Hagg.”

El Fouli then laughed and leaning back and rubbing his big belly said complacently, “People are naive when they get the idea that we fix elections. Nothing of the kind. It just comes down to the fact that we’ve studied the Egyptian people well. Our Lord created the Egyptians to accept government authority. No Egyptian can go against his government. Some peoples are excitable and rebellious by nature, but the Egyptian keeps his head down his whole life long so he can eat. It says so in the history books. The Egyptians are the easiest people in the world to rule. The moment you take power, they submit to you and grovel to you and you can do what you want with them. Any party in Egypt, when it makes elections and is in power, is bound to win, because the Egyptian is bound to support the government. It’s just the way God made him.”

Azzam pretended to be confused and unconvinced by El Fouli’s words. Then he asked him about the payment details and the other said simply, “Listen up, Hagg. If it’s in cash, I’ll take it. If it’s a check, make it out to ‘Yasser el Fouli, Lawyer’ and make a contract with him for any case, as though you were hiring him for it. You understand, of course, that these are mere formalities.”

Hagg Azzam was silent for a moment. Then he took out his checkbook and said as he undid his gold pen, “Fine. Let’s do it. I’ll write a check for half. Then when I win, God willing, I’ll pay the rest.”

“No way, sugar! Shame on you — you’ll get me upset if you go on like that. Keep that kind of stuff for school kids. The way I do things is pay first, take later. Pay the whole amount and I’ll congratulate you on getting into the Assembly and read the Fatiha with you right now!”

It had been Azzam’s last ploy, and when it failed, he surrendered. He wrote out the check for a million pounds, examined it carefully as was his custom, and then handed it to El Fouli, who took it and gave it to his son. Then El Fouli grinned all over his face and said gaily, “Congratulations, Hagg! Come on, let’s read the Fatiha. May the Lord be generous to us and grant us success! You’ll find the contract ready with Yasser.”

The four of them — El Fouli, Azzam, and their two sons — closed their eyes, held their hands before their breasts in supplication, and set to reciting the Fatiha under their breath.

Hagg Azzam paid the money to El Fouli and imagined the elections had been decided in his favor, but that was not the case. There was fierce competition in the Kasr el Nil constituency among a number of businessmen, each of whom wanted to win the Workers’ seat in the People’s Assembly. Hagg Azzam’s strongest competitor was Hagg Abu Himeida, owner of the famous Approval and Light clothing store chain. Just as the two poles repel one another in nature, so the sharp dislike between the two Haggs derived in essence from their many points of similiarity. Thus Abu Himeida, like Azzam, had originally been a simple laborer in Port Said. Then in less than twenty years his wealth increased vastly till he became one of Egypt’s millionaires.

People had heard about Abu Himeida for the first time some years before when he opened a chain of large shops in Cairo and Alexandria. He had flooded the newspapers and television with advertisements undertaking to give any woman a number of new, “modest” dresses and colored headscarves if the same woman would take the decision to observe religiously sanctioned dress and agreed to hand in her old, revealing clothes to the store management as a sign of her seriousness. At the time people were amazed at this strange offer and their astonishment grew when the Approval and Light stores did in fact receive the old clothes of dozens of women, to whom it handed over new and expensive Islamic garments as free replacements. The project’s noble objectives did not prevent the infiltration of certain women who already wore “modest dress” but who wanted to take advantage of the free clothes. These would pretend that they had not worn modest dress before and present the store with revealing garments that did not belong to them so that they could receive new ones in return. The Approval and Light stores caught on to this ruse and published announcements everywhere warning these tricksters of the punishment they faced in law, as the contract that the woman signed in the store included a penalty clause if she lied.