Naguib Mahfouz - Palace of Desire

He invited her to sit down, and she took the chair she had used on a day that was now part of history. He sat back down wondering about this new development. He had not seen her since she came to call on him at the store a year after Fahmy's death, when she had attempted to get him to resume his visits to her house. He had been amazed at her daring then. Not having recovered from his grief, he had treated her gruffly and bade her farewell coldly. Why was she corning back today? He looked her over and found her unchanged. She was plump and elegant, wearing a fragrant perfume. Her eyes sparkled over the top of her veil. But her finery could not conceal the advance of time and the lines under her eyes. She reminded him of Jalila and Zubayda. How heroically these women risked their lives in the battle for life and youth…. Amina had only too quickly fallen prey to her sorrows and allowed her bloom to fade.

Bahija brought her chair close to the desk and said in a low voice, "Excuse me, al-Sayyid, sir, for this visit. Necessity has its own laws."

Looking dignified and grave, al-Sayyid Ahmad immediately replied, "Welcome to you. Your visit is an honor and a favor for us."

Smiling, she answered in a tone that revealed her gratitude, "Thank you. Praise to God I've found you in good spirits and good health."

He in turn thanked her and prayed that she would be well and strong. Then she was silent for a few moments before saying with concern, "I've come for an important reason. I was told he had consulted you in due time and received your consent. I refer to Yasin Effendi's request to marry my daughter Maryam. Was I correctly informed? This is what I've come to discover."

Ahma d Abd al-Jawad lowered his eyes to keep her from reading in them his resentment at her words. He was not deceived by her pretense at concern for his consent. Let her try her wiles on some other man unfamiliar with what lay hidden behind them. He for one knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was all the same to her whether he gave his consent or withheld it. Did she not realize why he had not accompanied Yasin on his visit to her? Even so, she had come to force him to proclaim his approval and for some other reason, which would shortly be revealed.

He looked up at her with calm eyes and said, "Yasin told me of his plan and I wished him success. Maryam has always been like a daughter to us."

"May God grant me the blessing of your being favored with a long life. This marriage tie will be a prestigious honor for us."

"I thatik you for your compliment."

She said fervently, "I'm pleased to tell you frankly that I postponed announcement of my consent until I could be certain of yours."

"Bitch!" he exclaimed to himself. "She probably announced her approval even before seeing Yasin."

"Mrs. Umm Maryam, I can only repeat my thanks."

"For that reason, the first thing I told Yasin Effendi was: 'Let me be sure your father agrees before anything else, for every other consideration is negligible compared to his wrath.'"

"My God, my God!" She had no sooner stolen the mule than she was busy throwing ropes around his master.

"Coming from you, such a noble statement is hardly unusual."

With triumphant enthusiasm she continued her verbal offensive: "Al-Sayyid, sir, you're a man after our own heart, the best anyone would boast of in our whole quarter."

The guile of women and their coquetry how fed up he was with both. Could she possibly imagine that he was wallowing in the dust to pursue the affections of a lute player once scorned by drunkards?

He replied modestly, "God forgive me."

In a sad tone, her voice rising enough so that he was afraid those at the far end of the store would hear her, she said, "I was very sad to learn he had left his father's home."

Al-Sayyid Ahmad shook his head to caution her not to speak too loudly. Before she could say anything more, he commented with a frown, "The fact is, his conduct angered me. I was amazed he had done such a stupid thing. He should have asked my advice first, but he carried his belongings to Palace of Desire Alley. Only then did he come to apologize to me! A juvenile prank, Mrs. Umm Maryam…. I lectured him, ignoring his alleged disagreement with Amina. That was a silly reason for him to give in an attempt to justify even more foolish behavior."

"By your life, that's exactly what I told him. But Satan is ingenious. I also advised him that Mrs. Amina is not to be blamed. May our Lord console her for her sufferings. In any case, from someone like you, al-Sayyid, sir, pardon can be hoped."

With a flick of his wrist he seemed to say, "Let's drop this."

She commented ingratiatingly, "But I'll only be satisfied with a full pardon and your approval."

"Pshaw!" If only he could tell her frankly how disgusted he was with all of them: her, her daughter, and the great mule.

"Yasin's my son in any event. May God guide him to the right path…."

She leaned her head back a little and left it there while she savored the pleasures of success and victory. Then she continued in a gentle voice: "May our Lord be gracious to you, al-Sayyid Ahmad. On my way over, I asked myself, 'Do you suppose he'll disappoint me and send me away empty-handed? Or will he treat his old neighbor the way he used to, in the past?' Praise God, you always live up to people's expectations. May God extend your life and enjoyment of health and strength."

"She thinks she's pulling the wool over my eyes," he told himself "And she's entitled to. You're a failure as a father. Your best son has died, the second's a loss, and the third is headstrong. This has all happened over my dead body, you bitch."

"I can't thank you enough," he said.

Bowing her head, she observed, "Whatever I've said of you is far less t ban you deserve. How frequently I confessed that to you in the past…."

"Oh, the past! Close that door, by the life of the mule whose acquisition you've come to record". He spread his hand across his chest to express his thanks.

She said dreamily, "Why not? Didn't I love you more than any man before or after you?"

This was what she wanted. Why had he not realized it from the first moment? "She hasn't come for Yasin or Maryam but for me. No, you've come for your own sake, you whom time has not changed in any respect save to deprive you of youth. But not so fast. … Can you really bring back a day that's over and done with?"

He allowed her remark to pass without comment, limiting himself to a smile of thanks. She grinned so broadly that her teeth were visible through her veil.

Somewhat critically she said, "It seems you don't remember a thing…."

He wanted to apologize for his apparent disinterest without hurting her feelings. He said, "I no longer have a mind in my head capable of remembering anything."

She cried out sympathetically, "You've grieved far more than you should. Life can't tolerate or allow this, when you — if you'll excuse me for saying it are accustomed to a pleasant life. The grkf that would affect an ordinary man one carat has a twenty-four-carat impact on you."

"It's a sermon intended to benefit the preacher," he reflected. "If only Yasin was as easily satiated as I am. Why do I find you repulsive? You're certainly more obedient than Zanuba and incomparably less expensive. It seems my heart has developed a will to suffer."

With a combination of humility and cunning he asked, "How can a grieving heart laugh?"

As though glimpsing a ray of hope she quickly said with enthusiasm, "Laugh so your heart may laugh. Don't wait for it to laugh first. It's out of the question to think it will laugh all by itself after it's suffered from depression for such a long time. Resume your old life. Its joy, now slumbering, will return to you. Search out the things that delighted you in previous times as well as your former lovers. How do you know that there are no hearts that have stayed true to you, yearning for you, despite your long avoidance of them?"