Naguib Mahfouz - Palace Walk

He blew off steam by striking his hands together and saying, "Criminal!.. Scandal incarnate!.. How I'll laugh at my foolishness every time I remember that I hoped something good might come from this visit…" Then he continued sarcastically: "I'm amazed you can desire my affection after this".

She was distraught and sad. He heard her say, "My soul made me hope we could live together with love, in spite of everything. Your surprise visit inspired warm hopes in my heart that made me imagine I could give you the most exalted form of love my heart possesses… unblemished".

He backed away from her, as though fleeing from the tenderness of her words. Nothing could have excited his anger more than that. Filled with anger and despair, he sensed there was no longer anything to be gained from staying on in this hateful atmosphere. Turning around to make his way out, he said, "I wish I could kill you".

She lowered her eyes and said with unconcealed sorrow, "If you do, you'll relieve me of the sufferings of my life".

His anguish reached its peak. He threw her a final look filled with loathing. As he left the place, the floor of the room shook with his footsteps. When he reached the street and began to come to his senses, he remembered for the first time that he had forgotten to discuss the real estate and property. He had not mentioned so much as a word about it. How had he forgotten when it was the main reason for his visit?

Mrs. Amina opened the door and stuck her head in, saying with her customary tenderness, "Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

She heard Fahmy’s voice reply, "Come here, Mother. It will only take five minutes".

The woman entered, happy to comply with his request. She found him standing in front of his desk with a serious and concerned expression on his face. He took her hand and led her to a sofa near the door. He seated her and then sat down beside her, asking, "Is everyone asleep?"

The woman realized that she had not been invited to perform some trivial favor; otherwise what need was there for such care or this interest in privacy? His concern was quickly transmitted to her sensitive soul. She answered, "Khadija and Aisha went to their room at their usual time and I just left Kamal in his bed now".

Fahmy had been waiting for this moment since he retired to the study early in the evening. He had not been able to concentrate his attention on the book before him as usual. Off and on he had been following the conversation between his mother and his sisters, worried that they would never stop talking. Then he had listened to his mother and Kamal memorize a section of the seventy-eighth sura of the Qur'an, beginning: "Concerning what are they disputing?" Finally the house had become quiet and his mother had come to say good night. He had invited her to come in, and the tension of waiting had ended for him.

Although his mother was gentle as a dove and he felt no reserve or fear with her, he found it difficult to express what he wanted to say. He was overcome by a shy embarrassment. A long period of silence passed before, twitching his eyelids, he said, "Mother, I've invited you to advise me on a topic of great concern to me".

The woman’s anxiety became so intense that her tender heart almost transformed it into fear. She replied, "I'm listening, son".

He breathed deeply to relieve his nerves and said, What would you think if… I mean, isn't possible that…" He came to a hesitant stop. Then he changed his tone and said delicately but anxiously, "I have no one to confide my innermost feelings to except for you…"

"Of course, my son, that’s only natural".

Taking courage from this, he said, "What would you think about trying to arrange an engagement between me and Maryam, the daughter of our neighbor al-Sayyid Muhammad Ridwan?"

At first Amina was astonished by his suggestion. Her initial response was a smile revealing more anxiety than joy. Then the fear that had gripped her while she was waiting for him to declare what he had in mind dispersed. Her smile broadened and shone, announcing her unqualified delight. She hesitated for some moments, not knowing what to say, then she burst out: "Is this really what you want?… I'll give you my frank opinion… The day I go to arrange an engagement for you with a decent girl will be the happiest day of my life".

The youth blushed and said gratefully, "Thank you, Mother".

His mother gazed at him with a tender smile and remarked wistfully, "What a happy day! I've had to work hard and be patient many times. It’s not too much to ask that God reward me for my exertion and patience with a day like this I've been hoping for; indeed with many more like it when I rejoice for you and your sisters Khadija and Aisha".

Her mind wandered off in happy dreams until something occurred to her that suddenly roused her. She drew her head back anxiously like a cat that sees a dog approaching. She muttered sympathetically, "But… your father?"

Fahmy smiled angrily and replied, "That’s why I'm asking for your advice…"

The woman thought a little. Then she said, as though to herself, "I don't know how he'll react to this request. Your father’s a strange man, different from anyone else. What others take for granted, he considers a crime".

Fahmy frowned and said, "There’s nothing in the affair to warrant anger or opposition".

"That’s what I think".

"It goes without saying that the marriage won't take place until I have completed my studies and found myself a job".

"Of course, of course".

"So what could anyone object to, then?"

She gave him a look that seemed to say, "Who’s going to remonstrate with your father if he doesn't care to listen to reason?" After all, her known stance toward him was blind obedience, whether he was right or wrong, just or tyrannical. What she said, however, was: "I hope your request will be blessed by acceptance".

The young man responded enthusiastically, "My father married when he was my age, and I don't even intend to do that. I'm planning to wait till my marriage seems so normal there will be no objection to it from any quarter…"

"May our Lord grant our request".

They were still for a time, looking at each other, united by a single thought, knowing instinctively that they understood each other perfectly. It was not hard for them to read each other’s thoughts. Then Fahmy expressed what was preoccupying both of them: "Now we need to think about who ought to raise the topic with him…"

The woman smiled, but anxiety had robbed her smile of its spirit. She realized that her resourceful son was reminding her of a duty only she could perform. She did not object to doing it, since there was no alternative, but she accepted the task reluctantly, as she did many others. She asked God that it would end well. She remarked tenderly and affectionately, "Who should bring it up but me?… May our Lord be with us".

"I'm sorry… If I could, I'd do it myself".

"I'll talk to him, and it will be successful, God willing. Maryam’s a pretty girl, polite and from a fine family".

She was silent for a moment. Then, as though it had only just occurred to her, she asked, to clarify something, "But isn't she your age or even older?"

The youth replied uneasily, "That doesn't matter to me at all!"

Smiling, she replied, "With God’s blessing; may our Lord be with us". Then, as she stood up, she added, "I leave you now in the Master’s care. Until tomorrow". She leaned toward him and kissed him, then she left the room, closing the door behind her. She was astonished to find Kamal sitting on a sofa, bent over a notebook. She shouted at him, "What are you doing here?"

Smiling in embarrassment, he rose and replied, "I remembered that I'd left my English notebook. So I came to get it. Then I thought I'd review the words one more time".