Margaret Atwood - I Dream of Zenia with the Bright Red Teeth

SO THAT IS HOW Tony and Roz have agreed to look at it, at least when they are with Charis, because it makes Charis happier. It takes some doing to pretend that a medium-sized black and white dog who wipes her paws on your coat and poops behind logs is in fact Zenia, but they don’t have to pretend all the time: Zenia comes and goes, unpredictable as she has always been, and only Charis can tell when Zenia is present inside Ouida and when she is not.

Billy made threatening noises about suing Charis for his injuries, but Roz squashed that: she can out-lawyer him any day of the week, she told him. Thanks to the extensive search done by her hired detective, she has chapter and verse on his career in matron fleecing, Ponzi schemes, and identity theft, and if he thinks he can use Ouida as his blackmail weapon he should think again, because it’s his word against Charis’s, and who does he think a jury will believe?

So Billy has gone elsewhere, never to be seen again, and now a jovial retired plumber lives in the other half of Charis’s duplex. He’s a widower, and Roz and Tony have hopes for him. He’s redoing the bathroom, which is a start. Ouida approves of him, and tries to cram herself under the sink when he’s down there with his wrench, and licks him wherever possible, and flirts with him shamelessly.

Fearless. Witty. Thoughtful. Canadian.

This ebook is just the start. Subscribe to The Walrus and have the best in long form journalism, fiction, poetry, and editorials every month.

walrusmagazine.com/subscribe

If you enjoyed this story, you’ll enjoy these great stories from past issues of The Walrus : All the Way Home

http://walrusmagazine.com/articles/2008.07-adventure-move-to-austin-wendy-dennis

I left for Austin, Texas, last September, on a splendid Saturday of the Labour Day weekend. Dawn was breaking as I headed west along the Queen Elizabeth Way toward the US border and a more expansive idea of myself. It was unclear what lay in store. I was just thrilled to be moving again.

This was my first trip to Austin, except for a few days the previous spring, when I’d flown down to see if it would be a good place to do some writing and take a sabbatical from my life. Among other things, I wanted to meet my prospective landlords, Cat and Norm Ballinger. I’d connected with them in March after posting an ad in the Austin section on Craigslist, indicating that I was a writer looking for an “apartment, house or idiosyncratic space.”

The Walrus Foundationis a registered charitable non-profit organization dedicated to promoting debate on matters vital to Canadians.

The Walrus magazinelaunched in September of 2003 with a straightforward mandate: to be a national general interest magazine about Canada and its place in the world. We are committed to publishing the best work by the best writers from Canada and elsewhere on a wide range of topics for readers who are curious about the world.

Browse.Photo galleries, blogs, web exclusives, archives, and much more with a click of your mouse. walrusmagazine.com

Watch.Smart on the page, smart on the screen. Original documentaries based on stories from the magazine. walrustv.ca

Attend.Public events and debates, coming soon to cities across the country. walrusmagazine.com/events

Join.Sign up for our newsletter, follow us on Twitter, or like our Facebook page for all things Walrus online. www.walrusMagazine.com/newsletter, Twitter.com/WalrusMagazine, Facebook.com/TheWalrusMagazine

Laugh.Funny words, pictures, sites, and sounds exclusive to The Walrus. TheWalrusLaughs.com

Engage.Have your say on ideas that matter. Suggest, share, vote, or comment. Walrussoapbox.com

Please consider becoming a supporter of The Walrus Foundation, the charitable non-profit organization that publishes The Walrus and presents other important educational initiatives.

If you enjoy this book, please consider subscribing to The Walrus . To subscribe online, visit our website at walrusmagazine.com/subscribe

“ The Walrus is one of the best things that has happened in Canada. It’s very rare, an outfit like this, informed by integrity, vision, and dedication. Please help The Walrus survive. We need it.”

COPYRIGHT © 2012 O.W. TOAD LTD.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in 2012 by

THE WALRUS FOUNDATION

101–19 Duncan Street, Toronto, ON M5H 3H1

Tel. (416) 971-5004, fax (416) 971-8768

walrusmagazine.com

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Atwood, Margaret 1939—

I Dream of Zenia with the Bright Red Teeth / Margaret Atwood.

Stories published in the July/August 2012 edition of the Walrus magazine, as part of a collection of three short stories.

ISBN 978-0-9879989-3-4

I. Walrus Foundation II. Title.

PS8501.T86I2 2012 C813'.54 C2012-901829-5

Designed by Brian Morgan at The Walrus.

Set in Arno Pro

Ebook Conversion by Coach House Books

Cover image for I Dream of Zenia with the Bright Red Teeth

COPYRIGHT © CC-BY ClickFlashPhotos / Nicki Varkevisser

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clickflashphotos/4194026300/

Story based on characters from The Robber Bride , 2006, McClelland and Stewart.