K. Randis - Spilled Milk

“It’s called Bridal Veil falls. You can walk behind it you know.” Jason’s mom, Laura, held hands with her boyfriend Sam.

“How long have you guys been dating?” I asked

“About five months now, right?” Sam motioned to Laura and she nodded. “Yea, about that.”

“How did you find this place Sam? It’s breath taking.”

“It’s an Indian Reserve, you can only get on if you have the proper I.D, which I do. I wanted to bring you guys here. It’s one of the most peaceful places I know.”

“Brooke, follow me.” Jason descended the boulder encrusted path leading to the waterfall.

Serenity penetrated my bones the farther we drove away from Pennsylvania. I needed to get away, even if only for a short time. By the time we planted foot on Manitoulin Island I was coaxed into a dreamland. Jason pointed. “Let’s go behind the waterfall.”

“Have you ever seen something like this?” I yelled. Blankets of water cascaded over the ledge in front of us. Specks danced on my face and I beamed at Jason.

“It’s beautiful. Just like you.”

A marquise cut diamond was perched on my ring finger when I examined my hand after Jason had been holding it. “Is this for real?” I asked.

“I want to know, if you’ll be mine forever. It was my mom’s ring. I’ll get you your own, when we have the money. It’s my promise to you, Brooke. I want to marry you one day. Will you wear it?”

His body pressed to mine, I steadied my feet on the rocks and kissed him in response.

“I can’t believe this. Does your mom know?”

His eyes smiled. “Turn around.”

Laura and Sam had followed us down to the water’s edge and were snapping pictures of us. Laura noticed we looked up and shook her left hand at me. “Hello lovebirds, smile here!”

“Oh my gosh. I’m the only one who didn’t know?”

“You know now. And stop covering your face, she’s trying to take pictures.”

Jason nudged me as he sat down at the table that night for dinner. “You don’t need to make sure it’s there every two minutes. It won’t fall of ya know.” He passed a beer to me from the cooler and clinked the necks of the bottles. “To us.”

Jason was six beers deep when I realized he was an emotional drunk and I hustled him to bed with his arm around my neck.

“Baby, I love you, you know. You’re the greatest-”

He hiccupped. “The greatest woman of them all. You, right here.” He patted the bed next to him and I struggled to keep a straight face while I pulled his sneakers off.

“I know, Jason. Hey, come here. Are you crying?”

“I would have stopped it you know.”

“Stopped what, baby? I think you should lay down.”

“I would have stopped him. That jerk. I’m so sorry he did that to you, Brooke. I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there and I couldn’t stop him.”

I realized his intentions and soothed his wet face with kisses. “It’s not your fault, baby. There was nothing you could have done.”

“Why. Why though. I could have stopped him.” His cries ripped my heart in half. Drunk Jason had no doubt that if we were together he would have been able to save me.

The truth was, I wasn’t ready to save me. I had kept it a secret for so long, that when it did come out, the people closest to me felt like they missed the mark and blamed themselves. It told me I did an exceptional job of concealing my secret, but a lot of people I loved felt responsible.

“No honey. It’s okay. I wasn’t ready to let people know yet. Even if we were together, you wouldn’t have known.”

“I would have known. And he’d be dead. That’s for sure.”

“Okay, all right let’s lay down.” My hand feathered through his hair until he was breathing softly beside me.

It was a rough morning for Jason as we packed the car and headed for the Canadian border. I turned on my cell phone only after we got into upstate New York to make sure I didn’t get any roaming charges. I had two voicemails from my mom.

“Hey, I’m still on my way back from Canada but I saw I had two voicemails. What’s up?”

“I haven’t got the six hundred you owe me for this month. I need it.”

“Ethan okay? He’s screaming in the background.”

“He’s fine. I need the money.”

“I had to buy my textbooks for college. I got them online but they were still over three hundred dollars.”

“I don’t care how much they were, my name is on your car and if you don’t make a payment it’s my credit that gets screwed. When will you have the money?”

“I know, Mom. Next week. You know I only get paid every two weeks.” Jason looked at me as I tried to remain civil.

“And what’s this I hear you’re getting an apartment? You would rather give some stranger your money than help out your own mother and just live at home?”

“Yea because I’ll be closer to school. And I would have to share a bedroom with Kat again, plus Jason couldn’t live there.”

“He doesn’t need to live here. You do. I don’t know what you’re doing with him anyway, not like he’s going anywhere in life.”

“Where exactly is he supposed to go?”

“Look at yourself Brooke. You don’t dress up anymore or wear makeup. It’s like you let yourself go and you’re only eighteen. And for what? To be with a guy with no future cause he doesn’t even want to go to college?”

“We can’t go to college at the same time Mom, one of us needs to keep a roof above our heads.”

“You can do that here. That’s just an excuse.”

“I love Jason, Mom. I’m sorry that him treating me like a princess isn’t good enough for you. I’m sorry that a lawyer or doctor would make you happier. This isn’t about you, this is about what I want.”

“It’s always about what you want. What about me huh? You think I chose this? You think I wanted to live like this? Now I know why women don’t tell on their husbands, how are they supposed to survive?”

I gasped in a stunned silence. Did she really just tell me that she didn’t tell on Earl because of money? Would that imply that she knew all along?

“I don’t care what you think of Jason mom, I love him and he loves me and I’m sorry that’s not good enough for you. Maybe if you would have chose someone based on their character instead of their wallet you wouldn’t have had a pedophile for a husband. Jason is my fiancé now, and I could care less what you think.”

Jason reached for my hand as my cell phone went sailing across the car. “It’s okay, take a second. Just calm down.”

Laura’s voice trailed from the backseat. I had forgotten his mom was there.

“Brooke, honey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Stifled cries followed and Jason turned up the radio to soothe the air.

Jason reviewed my car insurance policy when we got home and I was stunned to find out that Mom had been telling me I owed her two hundred dollars more a month than I needed to give her. I had been paying for everyone else’s insurance in the whole house for over a year.

Jason demanded that I confront my mom and insist I only pay what I owed for my own vehicle, so I did. It only made her hate Jason more, and I was livid that my car would have been paid off before I even started my freshman year of college had I not been giving her so much extra money each month.

“She was using you Brooke,” he said. “I’m sorry. I guess she didn’t know where else to get the money from with Earl being away so she just told you that your insurance was so much each month.”

As I watched the relationship with my mom deteriorate in front of my eyes, I tried to reason in my head that after the trial everything would go back to normal.