Anthony Powell - The Valley of Bones

‘I despair of the General,’ he said.

‘I thought everyone admired him.’

‘Quite a wrong judgment.’

‘As bad as that?’

‘Worse.’

‘He has a reputation for efficiency.’

‘Mistakenly.’

‘They like him in the units.’

‘People love buffoonery,’ said Widmerpool, ‘soldiers like everyone else. Incidentally, I don’t think General Liddament cares for me either. However, that is by the way. I make sure he can find nothing to complain of in my work. As a result, he contents himself with adopting a mock-heroic style of talk whenever I approach him. Very undignified in a relatively senior officer. I repeat, I do not propose to stay with this formation long.’

‘What job do you want?’

‘That’s my affair,’ said Widmerpool, ‘but in the meantime, so long as I remain, the work will be properly done. Now it happens lately there has been a spate of courts-martial, none of special interest, but all requiring, for one reason or another, a great deal of work from the DAAG. With his other duties, it has been more than one man can cope with. It was too much for my predecessor. That was to be expected. Now I thrive on work, but I saw at once that even I must have assistance. Accordingly, I have obtained War Office authority for the temporary employment of a junior officer to aid me in such matters as taking Summaries of Evidence. Various names were put forward within the Division, yours among them. I noticed this. I had no reason to suppose you would be the most efficient, but, since none of the others had any more legal training than yourself, I allowed the ties of old acquaintance to prevail. I chose you — subject to your giving satisfaction, of course.’

Widmerpool laughed.

‘Thanks very much.’

‘I take it you did not find yourself specially cut out to be a regimental officer.’

‘Not specially.’

‘Otherwise, I doubt if your name would have been submitted to me. Let’s hope you will be better adapted to staff duties.’

‘We can but hope.’

‘I remember when we last met, you came to see me with a view to getting help in actually entering the army. How did you get in?’

‘In the end I was called up. As I told you at the time, my name was already on the Emergency Reserve. I merely consulted you as to the best means of speeding up that process.’

I saw no reason to give Widmerpool further details about that particular subject. It had been no thanks to him that the calling-up process had been accelerated. By now he had succeeded in dispelling, with extraordinary promptness, my earlier apprehension that army contacts were necessarily preferable with people one knew in civilian life. I began to wonder whether I was not already regretting Gwatkin and Kedward.

‘Like so many units and formations at this moment,’ said Widmerpool, ‘the Division is under-establishment. You will be expected to help while you are here in other capacities than purely “A” duties. When in the field — on exercises, I mean — you will be something of a dogsbody, to use a favourite army phrase, with which you are no doubt familiar. You understand?’

‘Perfectly.’

‘Good. You will be in F Mess. F is low, but not the final dregs of the Divisional Headquarters staff, if they can be so called. The Mobile Bath Officer, and his like, are in E Mess.

By the way, a body from your unit, one Bithel, is coming up to command the Mobile Laundry.’

‘So I heard.’

‘Brother of a VC, I understand, and was himself a notable sportsman when younger. Pity they could not find him better employment, for he should be a good type. But we must get on with the job, not spend our time coffee-housing here. Your kit is downstairs?’

‘Yes.’

‘I will give orders for it to be taken round to your billet — you had better go with it to see the place. Come straight back here. I will run through your duties, then take you back to the Mess to meet some of the staff.’

Widmerpool picked up the telephone. He spoke for some minutes about my affairs. Then he said to the operator: ‘Get me Major Farebrother at Command.’

He hung up the receiver and waited.

‘My opposite number at Command is one, Sunny Farebrother, a City acquaintance of mine — rather a slippery customer to deal with. He was my Territorial unit’s Brigade-Major at the beginning of the war.’

‘I met him years ago.’

The telephone bell rang.

‘Well, get cracking,’ said Widmerpool, without commenting on this last observation. ‘The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back. There’s a good deal to run through.’

He had already begun to speak on the telephone when I left the room. I saw that I was now in Widmerpool’s power. This, for some reason, gave me a disagreeable, sinking feeling within. On the news that night, motorized elements of the German army were reported as occupying the outskirts of Paris.