Yan Lianke - Serve the People!

`Nothing.'

'You) ust said you think you're pregnant.'

`I think I might be, but I don't feel like I am. Strong flavours don't make me feel sick. My period's due about now, but so far there's no sign of it. Maybe all that sex is making me late.'

Because she was so serene, so matter-of-fact, his anxieties were allayed. She shifted around so that she was directly opposite him, pulling her legs toward her, mirroring his own pose. She nudged the sole of his foot with her big toe; he returned the pressure. This friendly contact seemed to crack the reserve that had sprung up between them, restoring something of their old intimacy. But before Wu Dawang could relax back into his complacent euphoria, she lay down again and broached an even more serious issue.

`Lie down next to me, I want to ask you a few things. And you have to answer truthfully.'

`Ask away.'

`Lie down first.'

He lay down shoulder to shoulder with her. Because he was feeling calm again, he could savour the sensory pleasures of reclining next to her: her soft, smooth skin caressing his muscular shoulder like a trickle of water; the sweet, ripe-apple scent of her talcum powder. He was surprised by his sudden, heightened awareness of this fragrance, which he'd become almost desensitized to over the weeks. It seemed somehow to have dissolved into the dew, taking on an almost tangible intensity, settling over the plants and into the soil, mixing with the lingering sharpness of the earth itself.

He climbed on top of her. `I want you,' he implored.

`Get off me a minute. I need to ask you something.'

He climbed back off her and lay his head on her bosom, his right ear on her right breast.

She moved his head down to her stomach.

Will you be afraid,' she asked gravely, if I really am pregnant?'

'No.'

'Won't you be afraid of the Division Commander finding out?'

'I want him to find out.'

'But what'll happen to you if he does?'

'At worst, he'll have me sent to prison. As long as they don't shoot me, I can marryyou when I get out.'

'Marry? How?'

If he finds out, surely the Commander won't want you anymore. Then we can get married.'

She chose not to respond to the scenario he'd sketched out-or to the question of whether the Division Commander would still want her after he'd found out about their affair. Instead she raised instead another, equally fundamental issue.

'Would you be willing to divorce your wife?'

'Yes. So long as you moved her and my son to the city and fixed her up with a steady job and my son with a school.'

She sat up. 'And if I couldn't?'

He sat up, too. 'I promised before I married her, I swore an oath. You'd have to.'

'But what if-what if I couldn't?'

'Of course you can. No question. As long as she gets her life in the city, I'll have done my duty by her. I'll divorce whenever you want and marry as soon as you'll have me. Even if the Commander throws you out, you ask me to get a divorce and then decide I'm not good enough for you-and I know I'm not good enough for you-I'll still stand by you. I won't marry anyone else, or have anything to do with my ex-wife. Any time you need me, all you need to do is write or phone and I'll come straight to you.'

Having said his piece, he looked across at her expectantly, like a child handing his homework in to his teacher.

From a few inches away, she stared hard back at him, trying to gauge his sincerity by the light of the moon. Unable to detect a flicker of flippancy in him, she kissed him passionately, then removed her clothes and hung them on a nearby plant. Turning back to him, she spoke of a sterner, more inescapable reality.

The Division Commander's coming back earlier than expected-today in fact, so these are our last few hours together. For weeks now, you've done everything for me. It'll be light soon, so let me serve you for the time we've got left-anything you want, anything to make you happy. I want you to remember me for the rest of your life.'

Beneath the steadiness of her voice, Wu Dawang could sense her sadness. The moon had glided east of the barracks, and a distinct chill had descended over the garden, turning Liu Lian's skin bluish-white and covering her shoulders and arms with goose bumps. But it was the news of the Division Commander's imminent return, not the fall in temperature that made Wu Dawang shiver.

She stretched out beside him again.

He looked at her with the same detachment that one might consider a portrait, until the composition before him began to swim out of focus, its lines blurring. As she lay there waiting for him, Liu Lian's breathing quickened slightly-with impatience. But he stayed where he was, holding her hand, as if he was afraid of losing her. Suddenly, without knowing why, tears welled up in his eyes. In all the time they'd been together, she'd always been the first of the two of them to cry. From the very start he had, of course, known how the thing would end-with the Commander's return. None the less, the news that this ending was scheduled for the day ahead still struck him as hurtfully sudden.

'Has the Commander rung?'

Didn't you hear the phone just now?'

He hadn't. The telephone had in fact rung several times over the past eight weeks, and not once had he wondered what Liu Lian had said to her husband, what lies she'd stalled him with. Thanks to his slavish devotion to duty-Don't Ask What You Shouldn't Ask, Don't Listen To What You Shouldn't Listen To, Don't Say What You Shouldn't Say- he'd been able to block this question out entirely, saving himself from any number of extra anxieties. Now, however, that their return to reality was only hours away, he had no choice but to face up to his present situation.

'I want to go home, Liu Lian.'

'When?'

'Before the Division Commander gets back.'

She sat up and put her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. `Are you afraid? You've no need to be, while I'm here. I'll make sure everything's settled. It'll be as if nothing had ever happened.' But as soon as she'd offered these words of comfort, she immediately seemed to change her mind. `Then again, maybe it would be best ifyou did go away for a bit, to spend some time withyour family. I'll fixyou up with some leave. Stay at home until your company recalls you.'

A slow trail of footsteps rang out along the road: first approaching, then retreating into the distance, and eventually fading into silence. They both followed the sound with their eyes, recognizing the tread of the relief patrol. When all was quiet once more, their thoughts returned to their predicament.

How will I live without you, Liu Lian?'

`How will Ilive without you?' Both, by this point, were sunk deep in the sorrow of parting, helpless to understand or resist their tragic destinies. Leaning one against the other, they sank back onto the mat, as if lying down before the implacable advance of fate.

Wu DAWANG RETURNED TO HIS home in western Henan, on leave.

A month and a half of furlough dragged like years in prison. He had no idea what had happened to Liu Lian after the Division Commander's return, or what discussions had taken place between his Captain and Political Instructor, or between his comrades-in-arms, when they got back from camp and field training to find him missing. His escape had gone entirely according to Liu Lian's meticulous plan. At ten o'clock on the morning of his departure, he arrived at the railway station where an official who specialized in arranging long-distance berths for highranking officers was waiting for him. After thrusting a ticket for a standard berth-a scarce commodity in those days-into his hand, the official showed him his special military travel permit. He then put the permit into an envelope and handed it to Wu Dawang, instructing him to keep it safely on his person at all times-even when visiting the toilet.