Peter Stjernström - The Best Book in the World

There is a delightful atmosphere. All three feel that they are important parts of something exciting and great.

Then the doorbell rings.

The bright yellow silk shirt is unbuttoned almost down to his navel. His taut chest is tanned and freshly shaven. Even his nipples look tanned. Eddie X is leaning against the doorpost, twirling a strand of orange hair around his fingers, when Astra opens the door. His brown eyes smile. His white teeth glow.

‘Astra, beautiful Astra. May I offer you my simple company?’

When Astra sees Eddie standing there she lights up like a sun.

‘Hi, Eddie! Oh dear, we are in the middle of a little meeting.’

That doesn’t stop Eddie. He steps into the hall and looks into the living room.

He smiles at Evita, who radiates happiness. She instinctively pushes her bosom out a little and turns her head to one side without losing eye contact. You look your slimmest like that.

Eddie even smiles at Titus Jensen, who looks as if he has lost his winning lottery ticket… Titus’ chin drops a little, and if you had looked really closely would have noticed that his tongue was resting like a small piece of steak on his lower lip and the bottom row of teeth. It is obvious that Eddie’s entrance affects different people in different ways.

A poet who sells well is unusual, and Evita Winchester is of course not slow to turn on the charm for the new national poet. You always have to keep the door open for new sales possibilities. She is proud to see that Astra has the same attitude and has got to know Eddie so well that he even comes to visit her at home.

‘Come in, Eddie. What a fantastically amusing Summer programme you did! I listened to it when I was out on the island. It seems as if everybody in the country heard it.’

‘Thank you, do you really think so? It cheers me to hear you say that. May I take a seat?’

Eddie doesn’t wait for an answer, but sits down beside Titus. Titus is speechless, and just stares. What is he doing here? What is this all about? What’s happening? A moment ago, he was happy and full of energy. Now he is deflating like a leaking balloon.

At the same time, the room is filled with Eddie’s self-confidence. He puts up both arms on the back of the sofa.

‘Has Astra told you that we’ve started dating?’

Astra blushes behind her tan, and lets out a little giggle.

‘Dating? Now take it easy, Eddie. We have had dinner together on one occasion.’

‘Yes, and it was the best dinner I have eaten in all my life. I don’t remember what we ate, but I do remember every single word we said and every single look you gave me. A magical evening with twinkling stars and a twinkling Astra.’

Evita laughs at Eddie’s romantic torrent of words. As usual with Eddie, it never feels ridiculous, just feels heartfelt and delicate. Evita really thinks he means what he says. She looks at Astra.

Astra is seized by the giggles. In the course of a minute she has been transformed from a businesslike publisher to a crooning maiden.

Titus wonders what on earth is happening. If this isn’t a question of intellectual espionage then I’ll eat my hat, he thinks. Is he really so terribly cunning that he is going to seduce Astra and try to pump her for information about the project? How much has he found out already?

He must warn Astra in some way, and demand an oath of confidentiality. At the same time, he is convinced that he would risk everything if he revealed that Eddie knows about the book idea. Both Astra and Evita could feel cheated. Who knows, they might be furious and cancel the whole thing.

Besides, there is no reason to show Eddie how smart and alert he is now. Rather the opposite, he ought to act like the old Titus. In Eddie’s world, Titus is a pathetic specimen. Let sleeping dogs lie!

He slides down a little lower on the sofa and tries to look tired and a bit the worse for wear.

‘You seem to be having a good time,’ says Eddie jovially.

‘Yes, indeed,’ says Evita, ‘We’re sitting here discussing the future. The idea is to publish a paperback trilogy with Storm Clouds, Treacherous Charades and Baroque in Their Blood. Completely black covers with dark grey typography in relief on the front, perhaps with Titus’ eyes looking straight through the reader. It feels rather exciting to do all three together, don’t you think?’

Wow, that woman knows what she is doing, thinks Titus, and feels a little less concerned. He can evidently rely on her. But what about Astra?

‘An excellent idea,’ says Eddie the full-blooded diplomat. ‘I love everything Titus has done, and everything he’s going to do. Titus is a piece of Swedish literary history.’

Titus pretends to hiccup. At least that is easier than trying to say something. Eddie looks at him.

‘How are you doing, Titus?’

‘ Comme ci, comme ça. I am fairly tired,’ he says, trying to rasp.

‘What a coincidence that you are here! I’ve been thinking of asking if you can come and do a reading at Södra Teatern on 6 September. They’re arranging the Spoken Word Festival there and it would be a wonderful bonus if you could come, people love it when you read. I shall be the MC and will be doing some of my own things between the acts.’

Titus starts to perspire. How can be wriggle out of this? No way is he going to humiliate himself and read nonsense in front of a guffawing crowd. Not now that he has sorted his head out.

‘Err, well, I don’t know…’

‘Come on, it’d be really great, Titus. And the fee is four thousand kronor, too.’

Four thousand! Titus hasn’t got much in his bank account. A reading would actually mean a considerable improvement in his situation. Four thousand? How does that work? He gets four thousand to read nonsense, about one month’s worth of his annual royalties, and that for books that have taken several years to write. It is just daft.

‘Yeah… well… I suppose I could do it.’

‘I’m glad to hear it. Great!’

The small talk goes on for a little while and Eddie continues to dominate the room. He lists the names of the international guests who will be coming to the Poetry Slam Festival, he speaks of all the emails he has received since the Summer programme, and he reveals that the entire programme will be issued as a double CD with extra material ready for the Christmas shopping season. Evita wonders how clever it is to release a summer CD in the winter. Astra says that it might work because it’s a sort of ‘opposite approach’. ‘Exactly!’ Eddie shouts. Evita hums and haws. Titus sits and nods, trying to look tired and a bit tipsy. No way is he going to reveal that he is a viable human being in front of Eddie X.

Astra and Evita don’t notice how weirdly Titus is behaving since all their attention is focused on Eddie and what he says.

‘But I haven’t come to talk about myself,’ says Eddie suddenly, and looks solemnly at Astra. ‘It’s such a lovely day that I thought I’d ask you if you want to come for an evening sail in my boat. I have a little Neptun cruising yacht called Come Aboard Amour. It’s moored by the Blockhus promontory out on Djurgården. I thought we could go round the islands in the sunset and then I’d serve you dinner in the cockpit. What do you say, Astra?’

Astra looks in open-eyed wonder at Eddie X. What sort of guy rushes into somebody else’s business meeting and invites them to a romantic dinner? You can’t help but admire his self-confidence. And you can’t help but love him.

‘That sounds super, Eddie. Of course I’ll come!’

‘Great, then I’ll pick you up at six. Is that okay?’