Nadine Gordimer - Jump and Other Stories

— Really? — He suddenly gave way in a great, open smile like the yawn of a predator.

She had the instinct to withdraw. — You don’t live here?—

— Oh yes, I’m living here.—

She suppressed her casual curiosity as unwise encouragement. — Could you tell me when to get off? The nearest stop to Sylvia Pass.—

She did not know if she imagined a pause.

— I’ll be getting off there.—

He stood behind her as she stepped down from the bus. They began to descend the steep and winding road. There was no distance between them but an aura which established they were not together, merely taking the same route. — Thank God it’s down and not up. My heels are not exactly appropriate for this.—

— Take them off. It’s safer. The surface is very smooth.—

— But it’s hot! I’ll burn my feet.—

She clattered along awkwardly, amused at her own manner of progress. — Isn’t it typical? I’ve been jogging around here every morning for years and I’ve never come down the Pass before.—

— It would be up the Pass, wouldn’t it — if you live at the bottom. Quite a strenuous jog. — An observation rather than a correction. And then — Typical of what?—

None of his business! Who was he to quiz a manner of speaking, as if to find out if it had some significance in her life.

Yet she attempted an answer. — Oh… habit, I suppose … doing what you’ve become used to, not noticing… where you really are—

And wondering, now, no doubt, whether it was possible that this man off the bus really could be living in the suburb of large houses hidden by trees where she lived, or whether he had left the bus to follow her, and was to be feared, although he was white, in this city where so much was to be feared. It was true that he had picked one of his maze of trails about the city and suburbs in order to walk with her — an impulse like any of the impulses with which he had to fill in the days of his disconnection from consecutive action. The unexpected was his means of survival. To be Underground is to have a go at living without consequences. The corrupt little wriggle of freedom — there it was again. Shameful but enjoyable.

— Here’s my corner. — She bent to pull the slipped strap of her sandal back over her heel and looked up ingratiatingly to soften dismissal.

— Goodbye then. — Again, that greedy warrior’s smile, contradicting the humble appearance.

As he turned his back she suddenly called as she might have remembered an instruction for some tradesman — Have you far to go — that was such a hot trek — would you like to come in for something cool to drink?—

This time she was not mistaken; there was a pause, still with his back to her. — I know I’m dying of thirst and you must be!—

So she drew him round, and murmuring casual thanks, he joined her. Now they were walking together. At one of the pillared entrances in white battlements topped with black iron spikes she pressed the button of an intercom panel and spoke. The flats of a stage set, the wide polished wooden gates slid back electronically. Trees, her trees led up to and overflowed the roof of the spread wings of the house. Small dogs jumped about her. Sprinklers arched rainbows over lawns. She called out in the joyous soprano used to summon faithful servants, and ice and fruit juice were brought onto a shaded terrace. Behind him the colours of Persian carpets, paintings and bowls of flowers blurred in the deep perspective of one of those huge rooms used for parties.

— You have a lovely home. — He said what was blandly expected of him as he drank juice in return for a bus ticket.

She came back with what was expected of her. — But too big. My sons are at boarding school. For two people… too much.—

— But the garden, the privacy.—

She was embarrassed to think how he must be envying her. — Oh yes. But most of the time I don’t use the rest of the place (a gesture to the room behind), I have my own little quarters on the other side of the house. My husband’s away such a lot on business — Japan, at the moment. That’s why I couldn’t even get anyone to come and fetch me from that wretched garage… his secretary’s such an idiot, she’s let his driver go. I always tell him, he’s drained her of all initiative, she’s so used to being ordered about. I can’t stand subservient people, can you — I mean, I want to shake them and get them to stand up—

— I don’t think I know any.—

— Ah, that shows you move in the right circles! — They both laughed. — But what do you do? Your profession, your work, I mean. — Careful to show that ‘work’ might be just as worthy as a profession.

Without realizing he could think so quickly, he began inventing one — a profession combined with ‘work’—that would fit his appearance, he began telling like a fairy tale, a bedtime story, it flowed from him taking turns and details as if it could be true, as if he were making an alternative life for himself — I’m in construction. Construction engineer — that’s where I was today, on some sites. Things go wrong… when you’re talking about stress in a twenty-storey building—

— Oh if it were to fall! I often look up and marvel how such piles hold together, in fact I don’t have much faith they will, I never walk under those pavement shelters you people erect for pedestrians while you’re building, I always walk in the street, I’d rather get run over, any time—

— Standards are pretty high, here; safety margins. You don’t have to worry. In some of the countries I’ve worked, it’s rather different. And one has always to think of how a construction will behave in an earthquake, how do you build over a fault in the earth, Mexico City, San Francisco—

— So you travel around, too. But not selling; building.—

— Sometimes pulling down. Preparing to rebuild. Destroying old structures. — No — he must resist the devilry of amusing himself by planting, in his fairy tale, symbols from his real life. As in all fairy tales, there were enough improbabilities his listener would have to pass over if not swallow. It surely must occur to her that a construction engineer would be unlikely not to utilize his own car, even if his working garb was appropriate to inspection of building sites. — Have you travelled much with your husband? Go along with him? — Best to know where she had been before elaborating on projects in Sri Lanka, Thailand, North Africa. No, she liked to go to Europe but hot places, crowded places, dirty places — no.

So he was free to transform his experience of guerrilla training camps in Tanzania and Libya, his presence in the offices of an exiled High Command in cities deadened by northern snows or tropical heat, to provide exotic backdrops for his skyscrapers. Anecdotes of bar encounters in such places — he merely changed the subjects discussed, not the characters — entertained her. He was at ease in his invented persona; what would a woman know about engineering? She said it was time for a real drink; ice was brought again, a trolley was wheeled out in which bottles were slotted, a manservant appeared with a dish of snacks decorated with radish roses.

— I don’t allow myself to drink on my own.—

— Why not? — He accepted the glass of whisky and ice she had prepared for him.

At first she seemed not to hear the personal question, busying herself at the trolley. She sat down on a swinging sofa, holding her drink, and let the sandals drop from her feet. — Afraid.—

— Of being alone?—

— No. Of carrying on with it. Yes, of being alone. Isn’t that why people drink — I mean really drink. But I suppose you’re often alone.—

— What makes you think that?—