Nicholas Mosley - Hopeful Monsters

I thought I might say — But Franz, we have known each other so long, of course you and I both do and don't know!

Then — We have known this ever since that time of the Reichstag fire in Berlin.

Franz stood up. He brushed at his clothes. He was wearing knee-breeches and a short corduroy jacket. The dog heaved about in front of him. He said 'Come to the house.' He set off along the path through the forest. I followed him. It seemed that it might be easier to talk now that he had his back to me. He said 'What exactly is the work that your Max is doing in England?'

I said 'You know more about it than I do.'

He said 'I've been working in the laboratory in Berlin.'

I said 'And you can go back there?'

He stopped and turned and wagged a finger at me. I looked at the ground and poked a toe amongst the pine-needles, acting as if I were contrite. Then we went on through the forest.

I said 'Were you thinking of shooting yourself?'

He said 'Oh I've always been thinking of shooting myself, as you know!' Then he laughed and said 'That's something that one can talk about!'

When we got to the house we went in and there was heavy wooden furniture and photographs in frames: thick green-and-yello w curtains framing the darker green of the forest. Franz picked up the glass and bottle and ashtray from the floor. He went to a desk and rummaged through its drawers. He said 'We used to talk

about its being aesthetic, what can't be talked about, you remember?'

I said'Yes.'

He said as if quoting ' — How do I trust you: how do you trust me-'

I said'Yes.'

Franz seemed to find what he was looking for in the desk. He held a bit of paper in front of him, reading.

He said 'Not something moral?'

I said 'Oh of course something moral.'

Franz said 'This is the statement that your father made after he had been released from detention; before it was announced that he was to return to the department at the Institute.'

I said'I see.'

He said 'How do you tell what is moral?'

I said 'Can't you tell by the style?'

Franz handed me the piece of paper on which there was pasted a press-cutting. At the bottom of the cutting there was a photograph of my father. I skipped a few paragraphs which did not seem to be interesting; then I read -

I myself am of Aryan descent. My late wife was Jewish. While my wife was still alive I made no statement on this Jewish question. Now, however, I feel free to say that in my opinion all adult human beings — except those suffering from mental incapacity — have to believe that they are responsible for themselves. To suggest otherwise is to suggest that certain persons are not human. This statement about responsibility, of course, I believe applies to the Jewish people.

I laughed and said 'Well dear God, how awful, but this is all right!'

I handed the piece of paper back to Franz. He said 'You recognise the style?'

I said 'My father used to say, as a matter of fact, that Jews were somewhat like gods.'

Franz said 'And gods, to be operative, have to be somewhat hidden: that is what you have come to say?'

He put the piece of paper back in the desk. He closed the drawer.

I said 'Yes.' Then — 'And you will be all right?'

He said 'Ah, what you want of a poor mortal!'

He walked round the room. It was as if we, and indeed the whole room, were balanced precariously on a tightrope.

I said 4 I don't think they're getting anywhere very quickly in England.'

He said 'Oh well, indeed, why should we be getting anywhere quickly in Berlin.'

I said 'It's very good of you.'

He said 'Have you noticed how embarrassing scientific words are — "heavy water"; "isotope" — they are not aesthetic!'

I said 'It's the context.'

Franz came and put his hands on my shoulders. He said 'But you must escape! My Little Red Riding Hood: come to visit her grandmother wolf in the forest!'

I said 'That is aesthetic!'

Franz left me and walked round the room again. It was as if there were a crowd somewhere watching us. He said, as if he were an actor rehearsing a speech -

'- Of course, from our point of view, even if there were the knowledge how eventually to build such a weapon, what a waste of time! There are more pressing tasks! What would be the need for such an effort if the war is going to be over in months if not weeks — '

I said 'That sort of thing.' Then — 'And, as you say, the Nazis are unimaginative.'

He acted — 'Oh I did not say that!' Then he stood still and looked at me. He said 'You believe this?'

I said 'What?'

He said 'That good may come out of what might be called betrayal — '

I said 'But we've always known that one can't say much about this.'

He walked round the room again. He murmured as if quoting ' — Huts, watchtowers: ladies and gentlemen on the grass — ' Then he stood by the window looking out.

After a time I said 'So you will go back to Berlin?'

He said 'And you'll go back to your husband.'

I said 'I'll tell him I saw you.'

Franz said 'As a matter of fact I do see something of your father. We sometimes have tea together at the Adlon Hotel.'

I said 'Tell him you've seen me.'

Franz said 'What on earth shall I say?'

I said 'He'll know.' Then — Tell him that to humans gods have always seemed morally ambiguous.'

Franz said 'Ah, it would be a help, like gods, to have no country!'

He went to the wireless and turned it on. There was a voice buzzing like a trapped fly: it gave the latest news of the advance into Poland. Franz twiddled a knob and then there was a sad voice in French talking like a stone falling through space; it was saying that unless Germany set about withdrawing its troops from Poland forthwith then the French and British governments would fulfil their treaty obligations to Poland and so France and Great Britain would be at war with Germany. Undertakings had been given about this: there was a deadline the following day. Franz switched off the wireless. He said 'So what undertakings have we given. You have got what you came for?

I said'Yes.'

Franz said as if quoting ' — We are to be actors in this drama — '

I said 'We are actors anyway — '

Franz said ' — In what Nietzsche called "The great hundred-act play reserved for the next two centuries in Europe" — '

I finished the quotation ' — "the most terrible, the most questionable, the most hopeful of all plays" — '

Franz said 'We may just die of the absurdity.'

I said 'Oh we die anyway. What use might we make of the absurdity.'

Franz came and put his hands on my shoulders again. He said 'You make me believe this!' Then — 'Goodbye, my little one.'

I said 'Goodbye.' I put up a hand and touched his face.

Then Franz put his head back as if he were listening. I could hear no noise. But then he said, as if he were acting now specifically for the benefit of some audience ' — Oh we disgusting little band of brothers, who think we can manipulate — '

Then I heard, yes, a car arriving in the drive outside.

He said 'Quickly, once more. I can talk with your father?'

'Yes.'

'What shall I tell him from you?'

'Give him my love.'

'Is that all?'

'And my love to you.'

'And what will you tell your husband?'

'What we've said.'

'But we've said nothing.'

'And he'll say nothing.'

4 Yes.'

There were the sounds of the doors of a car slamming on the drive outside. It did seem suddenly, yes, that there might be people coming to arrest us: even perhaps that Franz might have summoned them. I thought — One never completely knows in this strange territory.

Franz made a noise like the black dog sneezing.

He said ' — A mountain path, a stone, a bird — ' Then — 'And my love to both of you.'