Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

Lean back a second… is that what you were wearing when you were arrested?

yeah.

Including that shirt that says LAND OF THE LOST?

yeah.

There’s your answer.

what?

The cop who buys radios a description to his arrest team of the guy he wants picked up for selling to him. The description is always JD, as in John Doe, followed by the distinguishing feature of the seller, like your clothing in this case.

word?

Indeed.

damn. i’m going to kill my cousin for getting me this shit at Niketown.

Let me look at something… you have another drug sale pending?

uh-huh.

What’s going on with that case?

i’m supposed to get probation on that.

You pled guilty?

yeah.

When’s your next court date?

d’know, sat home on the fridge.

Who’s your attorney on that case?

d’know his name but he’s got red hair and a mustache.

You have his card?

na i lost it.

Who’s the judge?.

d’know.

What part?

damn, ninety-three maybe?

No such part, thirty-nine?

na, not thirty-nine.

Well you’ve got a big problem now right? When you took the plea on the other case the judge told you that one of the conditions you had to meet before you would get probation was to avoid getting rearrested right?

yeah! how’d you know?

And now you’ve picked up another sale. So basically the judge doesn’t have to give you probation anymore, she can sentence you to state prison instead. Not to mention this case where you’re facing a minimum of one to three.

but i wasn’t selling this time. i didn’t have stash or marked money on me nor nothing so how can they charge me with a sale?

They can and for someone who doesn’t sell drugs you sure got the terminology down. Who do you live with?

my grandmother.

Why did you tell CJA you live with your girlfriend?

cause i stay in both places while my moms is trying to get me back.

Get you back from where?

cause she gave up custody when i was a kid and now she’s trying to get me back, we in family court next week. she’s suppose to be in court right now with her common-law fiancé and whatnot.

Well is she? You see her?

na, i don’t think so, but i can’t see the whole space.

What’s her name?

Tara.

Lake?

Simms.

I’ll look for her. We’re going in front of the judge soon and he’s going to decide how much your bail is. Any questions?

nah but could you tell the judge that i ain’t trying to do no jail time cause i just had a son, he’s three weeks old and he needs me and shit. i think my baby mama’s coming too.

I will kid, step out.

Listen can I talk to you about a case, docket ending 654, Ah Chut?

Uh-huh.

This is a sixty-one-year-old first arrest. Unlicensed General Vendor. Can I get an ACD?

Dithorderly conduct and time served.

I know but give me an ACD. This guy’s sixty-one. He’s been in the system twenty-nine hours.

I don’t give ACDs on UGV. I’ll give him a 240.20 and time served.

Even for this guy? He’s been in twenty-nine hours on a first arrest for selling batteries on the subway.

Sorry.

Well here’s the problem. The guy doesn’t speak a syllable of English which means if you’re not going to dismiss it I have to get an interpreter which means twenty-nine is going to turn into thirtysomething.

Sorry, but that’s the standard offer.

Brilliant. Keep up the work.

Rory Ludd. Ludd!

Yeah.

What’s up? You in the park after it closed?

Yeah but right they can’t arrest you for that?

Well they can, although my feeling is it may be indicative of some kind of frontal lobe damage on the part of the arresting officer.

That’s right man, what you said about the lobe! I like this guy, looking back at his colleagues. This is ridiculous you can’t even hang out in the park no more? I had no drugs on me, no beer, nothing! Can they do that? The cop just rolls up on me, tosses me, finds nothing then arrests me on some fucking park regulation. How long I been in here man?

Twenty-three hours.

That’s not right man I’m going to sue, can you take the case?

Look, in about fifteen or twenty minutes we’re going to be in front of the judge, they’re going to offer you time served and you’re going home.

Right but right this wasn’t right?

Right but it will soon be over.

So with time served the case is over right and it doesn’t go on my record?

No it does go on your record but your sentence is the time you’ve already been in.

But I didn’t do anything man I was just walking in the park that’s a crime now?

Look I know it’s bullshit but why compound it Rory? Just take your time served and go home. You already have a record and God knows a damn park regulation violation isn’t going to make it any worse.

You’re right man I’ll take it. Let me ask you this though: if I was some white guy in a suit and tie think they would have arrested me? But I hear what you’re saying B and I’ll take the time served.

Good, we’ll be in front of the judge in a bit.

Ahhight.

Finish up, we’ll go get some food.

Hey Dane.

How long you going to be?

What are you talking about?

Food.

We had dinner during the break you know, should have come if you were hungry.

What three hours ago? You call that dinner?

We did. Where’s Linda?

She split, she had no more cases to do.

What envy I felt just now when you said that.

Envy?

Yes, envy.

Never feel envy.

No?

No, instead simply alter the environment giving rise to that emotion in a manner that removes its factual basis.

Nice sentiment but I can’t leave.

You don’t mean you can’t leave right? Literally?

No I guess not, but I won’t.

In that case you should be feeling an entirely different emotion and one a great deal more painful I’m afraid. Anyway what about that food? I’ll explain to you what I mean there.

Sorry but I think I’ll have to pass on the second dinner at one in the morning, thanks anyway.

Bizarre decision.

Docket ending 638—Ray Thomas!

That’s me Casi but I’ll remember the spurned invitation.

You’ll recover.

Tara Simms?

Yes.

Terrens Lake’s mother right?

That’s right.

I’m going to be his attorney. We’re going to go in front of the judge in the next half-hour or so and he’s going to decide whether to set bail or release your son. Does Terrens live with his grandmother?

Yeah with my mother. He told you I abandoned him I suppose, he tells everyone.

He didn’t tell me anything, I’m just trying to verify his address so I can try to get him out.

What are they charging him with?

Drug sale to an undercover.

Did he have marked money?

I don’t know yet. We’ll find out when we get in front of the judge. Do you have any money for bail?

No.

Nothing?

No.

Does he go to school?

No.

Does he work, what does he do?

Hm-hmm that’s what I say. I tell him he needs to get a job and stop hanging out with his friends but that’s all he do.

Do you know who his attorney is on his other case?

No, all I know is he has… damn, what am I thinking?

Red hair?

No, red mustache. You know Terrens has a new baby boy?

Casi can you help this person?

Excuse me a minute Ms. Simms, we’ll talk again afterwards.

What’s the matter?

I need to speak to judge.

What about?

I want to be arrested.

Arrested? For what?

I’m GUILTY!

Hold on, don’t scream, let’s go out in the hall to talk about this… what’s the problem?