Sergio De La Pava - A Naked Singularity

Bail?! But I’m innocent, they have to release me.

I doubt they’ll see it that way.

So what exactly my looking at here man?

Numbers?

Yeah man, what else?

You been upstate?

I’m a mandatory persistent man. That’s what you’re going to see when you look at my raps so I’ll just up and save you the time.

Okay then you know the deal.

What kind of charge is that? Abuse?

D violent. Yeah, I see two prior violent felonies. Two to four on a rob two and you’re currently on parole after doing five to fifteen on a manslaughter right?

First of all, that was an accident man. It was just a fight and I was defending myself. Second of all, both of those cases were before I found the Lord.

They still count. That’s two violent felonies and this is another one so you are a mandatory as you said—

I know.

Which means you’re looking at a minimum here of twelve to life and a max of twenty-five to life—

Fuck.

Right, so this is no joke and you’re going to figure out Darril that the only way I’m going to possibly be able to help you is for you to start leveling with me a lot more than you have so far.

I’m telling you the truth. I didn’t do this.

Listen, I don’t have all night. There’s got to be more to it than this. You’re not giving me any possible credible reason why she would make this up.

I told you, the Archfiend.

By credible I mean a reason that doesn’t involve him… so that it?

Anything else?

I’ve told you everything I know. I didn’t do this.

How can I get in touch with her to interview her? She have a phone?

I don’t know. But she still stays in that building last I heard.

Okay, any questions?

What are my chances? Am I going home?

No.

No, just like that?

Be realistic, please, everything I just told you.

So what’s my 180.80 date then?

Well you were arrested yesterday, Wednesday, so next Tuesday.

She needs to come to court that day or else they’ll release me right?

Pretty much true. They need an indictment that day or else they have to release you, yeah. There’s one exception but—

Let them know I’m going in the grand jury too.

Look my feeling is it would not be a great idea for you to testify in the grand jury.

Why do you say that? I’m innocent.

Well foremost the grand jurors are going to hear about your record in a way your trial jury never would and for that reason alone there’s no way they’ll dismiss the case. As a result the only thing you’re going to accomplish is to give the DA an early version of your story.

I don’t care what version they get because it’s the truth. So there.

Maybe so but that’ll be small consolation when you get indicted.

Unbelievable.

Listen we don’t have to decide anything right now. I’ll serve cross and we’ll discuss it next court date when we have more time and when I’ll know more about the case. Deal?

Okay but I’m testifying.

All right. I’ll talk to the DA before your next court date to see what they’re offering.

I’m not taking anything!

Well then just to satisfy my curiosity okay? Any other questions before we go in front of the judge.

Just that I’m innocent.

Okay.

I know you seen my record and I have committed felonies. The robbery was a way to get money and I know it was stupid. The manslaughter? Fine, that was a fight and I cut him. All that was before I found the Lord by the way. Before. But this? This would be like pure evil to have done something like this to someone like that and I’m not evil. I am not a person who traffics in evil, dig? So you have to believe I’m innocent.

Okay.

I mean it. You have to!

I believe you.

No for real don’t just say it. You have to believe I’m innocent.

See you in front of the judge.

Wait a minute. I mean it man! I need a lawyer who believes in my innocence. You have to believe that to do this case.

You’re wrong I don’t, I just don’t. It’s not going to make me work harder on your case like in some stupid movie and it’s certainly not going to make it more likely that you walk. In fact, if you really are innocent then it’s probably going to hurt you and your case more than anything because, for one thing, I would probably be so distracted by the novelty of the situation I’d be rendered ineffective and, for another, your innocence might mean your devilish theory is true in which case we’d really be screwed because from where I’m sitting the devil appears be pretty effective, certainly more so than the average DA. So stop, I beg.

I want another lawyer.

One’s enough and if you mean a different one then that request is denied as well so just chill as much as possible for someone facing the rest of their life in jail and let me handle it. I know what I’m doing, although admittedly only in this severely limited area. Agreed?

All right.

Anything else?

No.

Good Darril, now kindly step out so I can interview the next.

Ah Chut. AH CHUT!

Bless you motherfucker! Ha ha!

Mr. Chut?

Yeh.

Is that you? Are you Ah Chut?

Yeh.

Here’s my card I’m going to be your attorney. Do you speak English?

Nuh.

Cantonese? Mandarin?

Cantonese yeh Cantonese!

Well… okay… were you selling batteries on the subway?

Yeh. Wuh?

You sell battery subway?

Cantonese.

No, I know but there’s no interpreter and I want to get you out of jail.

Yuh.

You sell battery on subway yes?

Yih.

And you don’t have a license right?

Cantonese.

No license right?

No license no.

Okay you go home soon okay?

Home?

Yeah you go home. Okay?

Yah. Cantonese?

No. You’re going to have to go home in English because there’s no interpreter and it would take hours to get one.

Yeh.

Okay step out.

Out? pointing.

Yes.

Glenn. BEN GLENN!

That’s me,

You don’t have to say it three.

How you doing Mr. Glenn? Here’s my card. My name’s Casi and I’ll be your attorney. You’ve been charged with Criminal Mischief in the Fourth Degree, that’s a class A misdemeanor. This guy Hal Posano is saying you stood in the entrance to his pizzeria and wouldn’t move. He’s saying that when he and his workers tried to get you to move you kicked the door and shattered the glass. Is all that true?

The truth lies somewhere in between

I wanted some pizza but didn’t have any green

Is that what led to the argument? You couldn’t pay for some pizza you had eaten? What happened? How do you end up kicking this guy’s door in?

Frankly, I refuse to divulge any further the nature of my defense.

To trust a stranger like you simply makes little sense.

I can’t help but notice, Mr. Glenn, that you are speaking entirely in a kind of rudimentary spoken verse, is there a reason for that?

What you’ve just said is fully true.

I speak solely in rhyme how about you?

I tend not to. I also see, looking down now, that your last case was dismissed after a 730 examination. What that means is that a psychiatrist examined you and determined that you were too sick to face a criminal case and the case was dismissed. Right? Remember that? So I think what I may do is have a psychiatrist examine you again to see how you’re doing, okay? The problem is that because of your record and because of the judge we’re going to be in front of, it’s unlikely you will be offered something that’s going to get you out and if there’s no disposition this judge is going to set bail so—

The judge can set all the bail he wants and I won’t complain

When Batman wasn’t fighting crime his name was Bruce Wayne.