William Gaddis - J R

— But they’re not, there’s nothing wrong with them is there? I mean I think it’s about all my aunts have for…

— Nothing wrong with them at all no forty, fifty just a good many years since they issued certificates in these separate denominations isn’t it sixty, seventy like currency yes five, six, didn’t sign them though did they, eight…

— Sign them?

— Wise enough precaution yes considering the ah… he paused to raise his sight across the blotter’s green as he might have over some desolate savanna, — the circumstances yes just pick up a handful of stock powers from Shirley out there as you leave let them sign those and mail them in no problem at all now, do we have an asking price?

— Well, well no I guess whatever you…

— Just want to sell them at the market then, do they?

— The, yes the Stock Market yes if somebody…

— The market price Mister Bast… his hand stalked the black box beyond the confines of the green, — when we say at the market we mean at the market price… his hand leaped, — going at forty-four and an eighth yes I’ll try to get you a quarter…

— A quarter? but…

— Want to sit still and wait for a half you can try it but I look for it to close off two or three points, already a little overbought at forty-four…

— Oh well forty-four yes forty-four dollars that’s fine yes they’ll be very pleased, I think they said once it cost about twenty-three…

— Had a couple of splits in there too haven’t they, come off quite nicely yes…

— Splits? but…

— Three for one when was it, ’fifty-nine? Selling around seventy when it split two for one in ’sixty-four yes come off quite nicely, now what’s this.

— What? Oh that yes that’s some other stock another aunt of mine got a long time ago, it says nineteen eleven down in the corner there it was just in the drawer with this telephone stock and they thought I might as well…

— Norma Mining Company? Pretty thing isn’t it.

— Yes right there under the eagle it says par value ten cents per share so a thousand shares would be worth a hun…

— Pretty thing yes, take my advice Mister Bast. Frame it.

— Frame it?

— Or just use it to, don’t mean to be indelicate just use it for toilet paper.

— The, but it says right there…

— Nothing better to do write to the Attorney General in Montana, probably tell you this Norma Mining Company defaulted on its taxes the year this was issued never even lived to see nineteen twelve. Mining schemes Mister Bast, mining schemes, that all of it then? Good of you to drop by Mister Bast, like to chat with you but I’m a busy man can’t be too, wait now wait what’s all this…

— No well you see this is just the portfolio of a, of an associate of mine who…

— A what…? the end of the battered thing came off with a tug at the zipper, — portfolio?

— Yes well you see he understood that brokers offer to review the contents of a, of one’s portfolio and when I mentioned I was coming in to sell this telephone stock he…

— But the, what in the hell is all this?

— Yes well it’s the ah, I hadn’t really looked in it myself it’s the contents of his portfolio you see he’s not very…

— But it’s, my God Mister Bast nothing here but a lot of trash… his hand pawed ribbons of newspaper and smeared envelopes, prospectuses, the Dines Letter, Moody’s Midyear, Value Line Survey — having a little joke, are you?

— Oh no no he’s very serious he, you see I just offered to help him I’d stopped to pick up a check he was going to cash for me but the computer had made a mistake on it and since he was, since I was a little short of cash I…

— Mister Bast I am a busy man, I think…

— No no wait just that, what’s that…

— This?

— Yes it’s a thousand shares of a…

— Fine, yes, serve the same purpose as your Norma Mining there.

— No but you see here’s their little booklet that…

— Look here Mister Bast, a mining company incorporated under the rules of Delaware, capitalization limited to three hundred thousand a year you don’t know what that means?

— Well I suppose it just…

— Means their disclosure papers don’t have to be audited by the SEC. I don’t deal in penny stock Mister Bast.

— But you see their little booklet here shows…

— Trees! nothing but trees! Doesn’t even say they own it, probably just filed an exploration claim and…

— But these pictures of all their equipment are…

— Who says it’s their equipment! Anything here say this equipment belongs to this what is it? Ace Development Company? Pretty pictures Mister Bast, pretty pictures. Anybody can print pretty pictures.

— But isn’t the…

— W Decker, Underwriter, who in the hell is W Decker? Know him? No, nobody does. Probably put out a million of these shares and has another million tucked away just in case a virgin mineral should turn up, posing as the underwriter here to disguise his ownership. Childish nonsense Mister Bast, your associate must be…

— No but, just one more moment, there’s something else, right under there…

— This? Hi Tiger. That’s me in the photo hon, I put it on my letter as a sorta sample of a set I posed for with each and every one of you guys in mind, posed the way you like to see a, what in the, just what is this sir!

— But it, I don’t know I, I meant that red thing there that, that red…

— This? Here comes another first in the marital relations field, my, my God sir! Perfectly barbaric! He tipped back and the mass of the chair tipped with him, cornering with a dulled blucher a delicately striped and more delicately shaded hindquarter remnant of one of the lives lost to the walls beyond now covering the wastebasket where he dropped these solicitations coming forward with a reach that commanded the entire expanse of teak and blotter stretched before him to seize a small bottle beside an opened book there and get its cap off. — Get out very much do you, Mister Bast?

— Out, where…

— Outdoors sir! Out of doors! Just what is it you do Mister Bast? Outside of being a ah, business representative as your card here has it.

— I’m a composer I, I compose…

— Music?

— Yes, you see I…

— Ought to get some outdoor interests Mister Bast, these ah, these indoor pastimes breed a sort of a, not the healthiest state of mind… he popped a small pill into his mouth and snapped the cap back on the bottle. — Best medicine there is.

— Oh, what, what is it…

— No no, not this, this is just nitroglycerine… He pushed the bottle to a distant teak expanse, — the outdoors sir, the outdoors. Now if we’ve cleared up our business…

— Yes well there was just one more thing there if you could, it’s a bond, that red thing, I think it’s a bond…

— You understand I’m a very busy man Mister Bast, if you hadn’t come so highly recommended I don’t know what I’d…

— Yes well I, I did appreciate her writing that note to you for me, she…

— Says anything I can do for you will be a kindness to her, yes. Just how do you come to know Amy Joubert, Mister Bast?

— Well you see we both…

— Always had a kind of weakness for the arts though didn’t she, probably why she refers to you here as such a dear person. Charming girl yes, lovely girl, almost say generous to a fault.

— Did she… did she, really say that?

— Say what.

— That, that dear person, that I was such a…

— Don’t sound like my words do they, Mister Bast? Now, you want to clear up this…

— Yes well you see I’ve been carrying her note around for quite a while and then yesterday when I went out to pick up this check I…